Family Archives

Reminding Myself of What Parenting Is

New Daddy — I can’t believe this was over three years ago!

There are lots of things I’ve learned about being a parent since Annie was born. For example, she has more energy than I ever will. She tests me to see how I’ll react when she disobeys. She asks me LOTS of questions. Along the way, I’ve come to appreciate my parents a lot more and what they went through raising me. Given that Bean’s due any day now (hopefully September 8th or so), I spend a lot more time reflecting on my priorities and trying to understand what God expects of me as a parent. I could quote most of the Bible verses about being a parent long before she was born and could still show off my mad Bible memorization skills if pressed today. The trouble is the Bible verse all parents learn as their first directive is pretty darn vague. “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). What’s this “way he should go” stuff about? What’s this lack of departing promise? Don’t you want your kids to “depart” one day? Isn’t that why you train them anyway, to be independent and able to depart? I know, I know, that’s not what that verse is really about, but it brings up a good point – why is it so hard to be a parent and why didn‘t God give us such explicit instructions as to give us no excuse for screwing it all up? [Read more…]

10 Old Wives Tales About Pregnancy

This pregnancy, I’ve dealt with a lot of advice… even more so than with my first child. And I’ve heard ALL of the old wives tales it seems!

Don’t put your hands above your head
Don’t climb a ladder
Don’t eat hot food
If you carry low, it’s a boy
If you have a lot of movement, it’s a girl

I usually just nod my head and go ahead with whatever it was I was doing that prompted that comment – or at least wait until that person is gone and then dig into the hot salsa. But, there are a lot of old wives tales about pregnancy – and they’ve been around a long time. So, I thought I’d tackle some of the popular ones today and give us a bit of fun around here. 😀

Old Wives Tale #1: If you have a lot of heartburn, your baby will be born with a head full of hair.

My, oh my…is this false or what? I had VERY little heartburn with Annie and she was born with lots of hair. I was convinced I was going to have a bald-headed baby because I couldn’t conjure up any heartburn. This time around everything gives me heartburn, and I’ll likely have a baby whose head looks like Mr. Clean’s.

Myth #2: Don’t lift your hands above your head or the umbilical cord will get tangled around the baby’s neck and it will choke.

I can’t even make sense of this one in my head. Why does lifting my hands over my head make a cord wrap around something in my uterus? Anyone? Anyone? Didn’t think so – very untrue…no movement I do makes any difference to the umbilical cord. My goal is just to move as little as possible…when people are looking.

Old Wives Tale #3: If the heart rate is above 140, the baby is a girl. If it’s fewer than 140, the baby is a boy.

This is dumb. Boy is this dumb. Annie’s heart rate was always low – even the doctor was convinced she was a boy. When she popped out and was a girl, we were all astounded. Everything pointed to her being a boy. And yes, she’s still ornery to this day – takes after her arm-raising Mama.

Myth #4: When a pregnant woman sees something really ugly, it means she’ll have an ugly baby.

Quick! Someone get me some eye patches!

10 Old Wives Tales About Pregnancy — Image by efleming

Myth #5: If you carry high, it’s a girl. If you carry low, it’s a boy.

I carried high with Annie…but she had a low heart rate. Oh dear. I’m carrying low with this one, but with a higher heart rate. I AM SO STINKIN’ CONFUSED! I choose to think I’m carrying low because when I’m ready to go into labor, this baby will just shoot out of me in like 5 minutes. Amen.

Old Wives Tale #6: Hang your wedding band on a string and then dangle it over the pregnant woman’s belly. If it swings in a circle, boy…if it swings back and forth, it’s a girl.

For Pete’s sake…if you want to know that bad, just go get an ultrasound already. Sheesh. And I’m pretty sure the way it swings has something to do with PERSON HOLDING THE STRING.

Old Wives Tale #7: If you dream you’re having a girl, it’s a boy. If you dream you’re having a boy, it’s a girl.

Last night I dreamed I was eating a Big Mac…does that mean I was really eating a Whopper? We women – we’re so fickle. We even dream in opposites. Men just don’t have a chance to get it right.

Myth #8: Don’t take a bath while pregnant.

Don’t wear deodorant either…or shave. Actually, the shaving part makes sense. I can’t bend over well enough to shave (34 weeks) because my belly feels like a solid rock. Let’s just go au natural. *Gag Attack*

It’s okay to take a bath while pregnant, just don’t get the water too hot – and avoid baths if your water breaks….do not however, avoid deodorant while in labor. Sweaty work, that labor.

Myth #9: Drink a ton of water so your amniotic fluid is clean and your baby doesn’t come out dirty.

We’re worried about our baby being dirty, but not our Mama. Yes, drink water…and you can give your baby a bath. I’m pretty sure all babies come out “dirty.”

Old Wives Tale #10: If the Daddy also gains weight with you, it’s a girl.

Why is a girl always at fault for a man’s weight gain? You most certainly did not shove that Whopper or Chunky Monkey ice cream down his throat. He ate it willingly…at 3am…in the parking lot of Kroger. Yes, I eat all day long – what’s it to ya? Who’s counting?

Did I share one of your favorite old wive tales? If you’ve heard another I didn’t mention, please share it below!

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What Will You Leave Behind?

Two weeks ago I buried my dad. At 62 years old, he and I were supposed to have lots of years left for me to learn from him and take care of him. But that wasn’t God’s plan. Since saying goodbye I’ve gone through the full range of emotions about everything that has happened. Thankfully I’ve not spent too much time in anger or sadness, but instead have been led back to honor and remembrance. Why? Because I’ve been inundated with stories about great things my dad did for our family and the community. My dad had been a Tennessee Highway Patrol Trooper for 36 years when he retired a couple of years ago, so he was very well known. He was well respected in the community and as I’ve learned, touched more lives than I ever dreamed possible. I hope you’ll indulge me in today’s post to share some important lessons this grieving process has taught me because I truly believe there are lessons we all can learn from my tragedy. [Read more…]

Getting It All Done – I Don’t

When I’m having a workshop, the questions always vary. “Does vinegar in the wash make you smell like a pickle?” “Can I sniff you?” “How do you store 25 pounds of beans?” “How do you know when your milk is bad?”

BUT, there is always one question that I get at every single workshop. Sometimes it’s asked aloud, and sometimes I’m asked in private afterwards. “But Stacy…how do you get ALL that done?!” How can I make all my stuff homemade? How can I grind wheat and make bread and then have time to vacuum up all the dirt tracked in by my toddler? How can I hang dry my clothes? How can I take the time to save money by visiting yard sales?

The answer is simple…I don’t do it all. [Read more…]

Life Insurance for a Stay at Home Mom

Since I’ve been tackling a lot of stressful financial situations in the lives of those I’ve counseled lately and in light of our upcoming baby #2, I thought I’d spend a little time to discuss the question of whether or not you should have life insurance on a stay at home mom. Let’s get a few basics out of the way first:

Strictly as insurance, I do not believe in “permanent” insurance (whole life, universal life, etc.). It is much more expensive than it needs to be as far as insurance goes and since we’re talking about INSURANCE (and not investments), let’s just stick to the idea of looking at term life insurance for a fair comparison in my examples and avoid all that debate for today.

I’m a HUGE advocate of having life insurance on SOME people. Do I need life insurance for Annie (who is not even 3 and brings in no income to our household) – NO. If she dies, we’d be emotionally crushed, but about the only impact to our finances would be the cost of her funeral and burial. A good way to be able to cover that is by getting a rider on an existing policy. It is cheap (per month) and $10,000 or so of coverage should be plenty.

Do I need life insurance on me? ABSOLUTELY – I’m the breadwinner in our family and if I die, Stacy needs income to be able to buy a Rolls Royce (strike) continue a reasonable lifestyle even if I’m gone. So that gets at the purpose of life insurance: replace needed income lost if someone in the family dies. That means if you don’t bring in any income to the family, you likely have no need for life insurance (beyond something to cover your burial). And that gets at today’s question – do families need to get life insurance on a stay at home mom? [Read more…]

Annie’s Birth Story

This new little one on the way has made me think – I never wrote down Annie’s birth story. Since I’ll likely post the birth story for The Bean, I thought I might go ahead and write Annie’s down too…before my mind becomes complete mush and I mangle the two together – and so that later she won’t ask me why I didn’t write hers down. 😉 [Read more…]

Having a Baby on a Budget

I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but kids can be expensive! Some surveys (apparently written by people who buy their kids EVERYTHING) tell you it costs $11,000 per year to raise a child. Unless you have a child with LOTS of special needs, I just can’t understand that. Anyway, that’s not what this article is about – since we’re expecting baby number 2, I want to piggyback off of an article Stacy recently published about how to be ready to take home a baby from the hospital without having payments in tow. She gave many good points (a few I’ll reiterate) and there’s a few I want to put out there as well. Two things let’s get out of the way first: 1) having a baby is NOT a financial emergency. Unless I’m missing something, you’ve got at least a few months to plan for things. 2) having a baby IS something you can plan for (financially) and should. Trust me, you’ll already have enough “stuff” to haul around with a new baby. It is amazing the quantity of stuff out there you use to care for something so little! Let’s not add a payment book to it too. So how do you plan for that baby’s impact on your pocketbook? Here are 5 tips: [Read more…]

Being a Stay at Home Mom: A Husband’s Thoughts

So here’s the deal. Stacy has been a stay at home wife/mom for most of our marriage. I love it! I think it is awesome when I come home that my wife has taken care of our house, our family and me. I didn’t really intend on writing about the merits (and problems) associated with being a (or having a) stay at home mom. Nonetheless, twice this week I was asked about it so here goes. [Read more…]

Moving To A More Natural Lifestyle – Ramblings of a Former Coupon Queen

I know there are some of you out there who are like me and fairly new to the “natural lifestyle.” By natural lifestyle, I do not mean that I don’t shave or wear deodorant…or live in a van down by the river. I simply mean a way of life that causes you to eat and use things closer to the way they were created – before The Man decided to make it “better.”

And I also know there are some of you out there who are intrigued by my new way of life. You’ve been with me since the beginning and you think I’ve lost my mind. You think this new way of life is cool, but not for you. Thanks for sticking around. The first step was moving out of the city to a more rural area, closer to nature. We had a bit of a road trip with the movers taking our belongings to our new home so we could start the journey of our natural lifestyle.

Then there are some of you here who have been at this game for a LONG time now…and you’ve totally got me schooled. And you’ve been quiet as I make all my mistakes and sound like an idiot. 😉

I’m very honored to have had the opportunity to guest post at Keeper of The Home – one of the most encouraging websites I’ve ever found. If you’re not subscribed there, you should be. My knowledge base has grown a lot just by reading all the fabulous material there.

I wrote a post there about our family and how we started on this journey to a natural lifestyle…how I got away from couponing and embraced my “hippie” side. 🙂 Our change has been gradual. Hopefully this post will be an encouragement to you – to let you know you CAN make this journey…you just need to go slowly.

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Using Money to Show Your Spouse Real Love

This week I want to keep up my theme of writing about money and marriage. Although I didn’t intend on turning it into a full-blown series, it has been fun to see the interaction it has created with readers and I truly believe it has helped many of you. I know it has helped me to formulate my thoughts well enough to be able to write it all out. This week, I want to write as a husband as much as a financial counselor. I know the demographics of readers on this site tell me it is mostly women who have clicked on here. But if you’re reading this and you’re not a man, you probably know one or two of them and could share this article. Plus, don’t you want to read something you can nod your head in agreement with? One last thing [Read more…]