Y’all, I have met this wonderful woman online…her name is Christy. Let me just tell you, she rocks my face off. Her humor is SO SIMILAR to mine – we’re truly kindred spirits. 🙂 Her blog, The Simple Homemaker is a winner. Subscribe today. You won’t be sorry.
Today I’ve asked her to chat with us a little bit about the myth that kids cost a TON of money – that’s what you read in all the magazines. She’ll set us straight. Thanks, Christy!!
They say you can have either children or money, but not both. Why? Because “they” (and “they” know all things) say it costs $235,000 to raise a child from infancy through age 17, and then there’s college. Does anyone know the Heimlich maneuver, ‘cuz I’m choking on that number.
I have 7 children, people! While the costs decrease by 22% for large families (hand-me-downs, multi-child discounts, and bulk food), that’s still 1.25 million big ones, and that’s kicking the offspring out the door at 17. Someone get the defibrillator! Clear!
It turns out that “they” don’t know all. You can raise a quiverful of terrific kids without overspending.
Here are 15 ways large families make it work:
Only buy what you need. This only sounds obvious. Even frugal parents overspend on first babies, birthdays, and school days. Resist! Apart from some small preparations for baby, don’t buy until you realize a need. Also, don’t buy single use items. I’ve never heard a successful adult claim, “I wouldn’t be where I am today if my parents hadn’t used a wipes warmer and a changing table.”
Never pay retail. Nearly anything can be purchased used or new-for-less: clothes, cloth diapers, cribs, bunkbeds, books, Legos, cars, college textbooks. Where? Look at thrift stores, Craig’s List, Ebay, classifieds (remember those?), garage sales, clearance or sidewalk sales, and specialized sites or stores for selling resale items (like homeschool books or children’s clothing). Let others know you’re on the hunt for items. Remember, even if you buy used, you’re still spending money, so refer to number one above before shelling out cash.
Get it free. Freecycle has stormed the nation. So have clothing swaps, book swaps, and just-about-anything-else-you-could-want swaps. You know what else has stormed the nation? Kind, helpful people willing to give away items they no longer need. Pray about a need, and be willing to accept help. While I’m not a proponent of sitting on your backside and waiting for someone to wait on you (without a legitimate reason), I’m also not a fan of letting pride stand in the way of allowing others to serve God and you through their giving.
Save on medical and dental. Prevent what you can by making brushing and flossing a priority, eating well, living a low-stress life, focusing on common sense safety, and getting loads of fresh air and fun exercise. For routine tooth care, dental schools offer more affordable services than established practices. (That’s where our pediatrician takes his boys.) Communities offer free or reduced-fee events for children’s physicals, immunizations, and dental check-ups…often with free hot dogs and soda, ironically.
Teach your children that work is a blessing. By raising a family of hard workers, you will save yourself from having to do all the labor yourself and from hiring someone.
Teach your children advanced life skills. Children should leave home knowing how to sew or repair clothing (extending hand-me-downs), change tires and do auto upkeep, do home maintenance and upkeep, cook and clean, manage a home and family, and handle finances. Take this to the next level and teach them to be skilled do-it-yourselfers…or figure-out-how-to-do-it-yourselfers. If you can’t sew, replace flooring, or fix bikes, find someone in your church or community to teach you or a child. Bake them cookies and offer a work swap, such as having your kiddos do yardwork in exchange for the life lessons.
Turn your children into teachers. Invest in lessons or training (such as piano, ballet, computer, or bike repair) for one or two older children. They can then pass that skill on to younger children.
Be entrepreneurial. Help your children find ways to earn money. You can go beyond the usual lawn care, babysitting, and pet-sitting, by capitalizing on your child’s skills. Consider the Wisconsin teen whose knack for fixing thrown-away electronics led him to launch the now highly successful electronics repair site Tough Gaming. If you want to learn how to start your own online business, then check out eCom babes course cost here.
Don’t give in to peer pressure. Don’t buy the big new house, the big new vehicle (or the little square vehicle), the big new (fill in the blank). Chances are you don’t need it.
Get creative! Keep your eyes open for opportunities for free or reduced cost educational opportunities (like free days at National Parks and museums), food, household goods (curbside week in many towns), and fun. Think outside the box!
Change your mindset. Children can share bedrooms. They can work hard. They can do without gadgets and elaborate birthday parties. And they will be the better for it. A child raised to be hard-working and appreciative doesn’t generally become that spoiled, whiny adult with the entitlement mentality. You know the one!
Rethink daycare. Childcare is the second biggest expense involved with raising children. Do what it takes to revamp work schedules or bring Mom or Dad home. As a stay-at-home parent, you will eliminate the expenses associated with working outside the home and may drop into a lower tax bracket.
Rethink school. When you consider the things children want and “need” for class, safety, sports, and “fitting in,” free public education is pretty pricey. Private schools, obviously, are even more expensive. While homeschooling is not for everyone and can be quite expensive, it can also be totally free.
Rethink college. As long as you’re rethinking, go all the way. The homeschool movement has caused the system to rethink the word “education.” Today’s students can earn credits online, for life experience, and by examination. High schoolers can take college classes for both high school and college credit. General degree requirements can be fulfilled from home and affordably.
Do children in a large, frugal family suffer? If growing up savvy and resourceful is suffering, most children (and adults) I know could use a heaping dose! Consider what a blessing it is to grow up with an awareness of cost, hard work, and making do as a way of life rather than as a hardship or as the “in” thing in a tight economy. Resourceful parents have resourceful children, and resourceful children are affordable children. So go ahead, fill your quiver, ‘cuz it turns out “they” don’t know everything, after all.
Christy writes about simplifying life at The Simple Homemaker. Once weighed down by unrealistic expectations and life’s overwhelming demands, Christy has learned to throw off the complications of life and find joy in the little things. Christy and her contemporary Christian musician husband, Stephen Bautista, homeschool their 7 children, ages brand new to 15. The family tours the country for the music mission and works together on a home business.
Taylor Kinnard says
I am really glad I found this post tonight. I am a young almost mama of my first baby, about to reach the one year anniversary this month with my husband. We both love the Lord and I was literally crying earlier this morning (probably a mix of real emotions and 32 weeks preggers hormones) because I was thinking about how much I would love to have more babies after this one coming, but I’m scared that the one thing that would hold us back from doing that would only be money. The thought of not being able to have another baby in a short time after the first (to keep their ages close and stuff) broke my heart and put me in tears today, because I want more than anything to be a mama to a nice big family, and my husband feels the same about having a quiver full of children, like that verse says. This post made me feel like it’s possible. With God, anything is… I just felt discouraged today since we are still so young and getting established and it often feels like we barely get by as it is with what we are doing right now.
Thanks for the post though 🙂
Stacy says
You can do this, mama. God has equipped you. <3
Anya says
I really want to chime in on the dance lessons suggestion. It is an incredibly dangerous and recklessly foolish idea to have your older children try to teach the younger ones ballet. Unless your older children are sufficiently advanced and use a proper curriculum such as the American Ballet Theater’s, they can teach their younger siblings incorrectly in ways that can damage growing bodies and potentially cause significant injuries. Ballet is a difficult art that pushes the body, and its pedagogy matters in order to keep young dancers safe and working at a level that won’t harm them — that’s why it was developed, and why it has been constantly refined for well over a century. Most ballet schools will offer scholarships for dancers with limited means, or older children can often do work at the ballet school in exchange for lessons. Either pay for ballet lessons from qualified instructors, or tell your children no. Do not rely on your older children to teach your younger ones to save money. You can very well pay for it down the road with injuries.
TheSimpleHomemaker says
But you love all the OTHER ideas, right? 😉
Thanks for your words of caution. Note taken. Personally, I see absolutely no harm in teaching the little littles the basics–positions, basic steps, etc. If they show an interest in continuing, then it is worth hiring a professional teacher or enrolling in a group class, but you will not have wasted money on the hop-skip-jump level classes for preschoolers. See what I mean? It’s much like piano lessons–once they get to a certain point, they need a real teacher. Personally, I was trained by an NYC ballerina. I enrolled my kids in a “real” class so they could have a “real” teacher, and she was terrible! She didn’t have any real dance skills and was teaching them the wrong technique. My kids were safer at home. I knew this, because of my training, but none of the other parents were aware that the pro was messing up their kids. Ironic, ain’t it?
Still, good point. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Ivon says
I’m new to your blog and love it. 🙂 Thank you for putting your thoughts for the world to see. I also agree that having the young ones teach the younger ones may be a bit reckless, but not the basic stuff. That is way better than spending on an activity that they will not want and it will be money wasted. 🙂
Stacy says
Welcome, Ivon! Let me know if I can help you with anything. We’re happy to have you!
Christine says
Professional dancer here (modern/contemporary, but heavily trained in ballet). I see no reason why kids can’t teach other kids movement. My sister and I taught each other (and the neighborhood kids) when we were young. Kids aren’t going to drill one another for an hour, requiring constant plies and leaps across the floor… kids just play. Playing dance is awesome. I’m sure when the kids are older and/or show a ridiculous interest, proper lessons would be required… but until then, let them use their imagination and perform for one another.
Lindsey Whitney says
Great list. We have two kids now, but are hoping to adopt soon. I know my biggest concern in the money, but we already have to clothes, and that is a big expense. Now, we need to start looking around (and praying for!) a good van or a larger car.
Jennifer says
Love this article! I believe all this to be very true. I am a single mom to a 4 year-old boy and I want him to realize the difference between needs and wants! Thank you so much for sharing!
Stacy says
Needs, wants, and wishes…in that order. Good job, mama!
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for your comments. You’re spot on that it’s crucial to teach them the difference between wants and needs long before they have spending power of their own. 🙂 Your boy is blessed to have you.
Sunshine says
Through most of my life I never saw 4 kids as a large family since this is what I grew up with(although we didn’t grow up near very many families that had even 4, let alone more), but considered 5 as starting a large family. I also knew I always wanted at least 4, but not sure after that. While we have done some of these suggestions just because they make sense to my personality (hand me downs, simplicity), only when I became pregnant with #5 did I start thinking in terms of “large family” and started incorporating more large family ideals. We could have saved ourselves a tad bit of money if I had taken our 4 children seriously as a larger than average sized family at the least. 🙂
Stacy says
I don’t really see 4 as a “large” family either, but I think these days most people just stop at the 2 point…so to them, 4 seems HUGE! 🙂
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Hi Sunshine,
These tips work for a family of any size.
It’s funny how we think differently based on a label. 🙂
Enjoy your brood!
Margaret says
While I really love these suggestions, as a teacher I do have to point out that public school is not a great expense. Yes, you have to shell out for school supplies, but you’re providing paper, pencils, notebooks, etc anyway if you are homeschooling. With proper planning, they can be dirt cheap. And most teachers stock enough supplies (at their own expense) to ensure that no kid is without. Everything else is optional. Every school I’ve worked at subsidizes school fees, field trips, sporting fees and other optional expenses for those who cannot afford the costs. As for “fitting in” – well, if you’re following the rest of these suggestions, you probably aren’t too concerned about your kids “fitting in” anyway.
I understand that some people prefer homeschooling, but skipping public school isn’t going to save you a bunch of money.
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Margaret,
Thank you for joining the conversation and sharing your perspective.
It’s great to know that there is assistance available for public school families. That is a great benefit to some, but there are others to consider. I came from a family that was not poor, but the extras in life were sometimes a stretch to the budget. The same is the case for my family. In both cases, the family would not ask for help because they could manage, but any extras did create a crunch and an increase in sacrifices in other areas…which is as it should be, weighing activities versus cost and time.
The fitting in perspective intrigues me, and I’ve given it some thought. I believe there is a certain amount of fitting in that is necessary in traditionally schooled children that is not the case for those who are not in school. Take, for example, clothing. When we join with other homeschool children, my children wear socially acceptable clothes–no poodle skirts or holey clothes, for example. We only meet with the homeschool children every month or so, so my children can wear the same jeans or skirts and nobody will notice….or care, since they’re all doing the same thing. If my children were in school, they would not be able to, for example, wear the same jeans five days in a row, wash them on the weekend, repeat the next week. Physically they could, like they do at home, but they would inevitably be teased, because that’s reality. They would need an expanded wardrobe to, yes, fit in, but moreso to keep them from being mocked for something about which it is not worth being mocked. While I would buy these clothes as affordably as we do now, I would, nevertheless, be buying more clothes. That’s more money, and that’s just for the clothing.
The same can be said for homeschoolers. They can get caught up in curricula, conventions, field trips, fitting in with the right homeschool groups, extra classes, sports, you name it. Any approach to schooling needs to be analyzed by each family for their unique situation and handled according to their finances, time, and goals. Homeschooling is ONLY cheaper if the effort and focus are put into keeping it frugal.
Thank you for what you do for your students. You and your fellow teachers are amazing! Teachers are our everyday heroes! Keep doing what you do, and God’s blessings!
Liseanne says
Christy – I am the last of six children – we had pancakes for dinner at least once a week… and we LOVED it!!!
Frugal eating was my mother’s nature. We all helped harvest potatoes at a family friend’s farm growing up – and earned – you guess it – potatoes. We all helped boil up the maple syrup – stocking wood in the fire, keeping the lines from the trees running with blow torches (!) and stirred the boiling hot syrup (!). We earned – maple syrup.
We knew how to work. We understood the meaning of a good day’s work.
Stacy – We started our own blog – visit us if you have a moment (in between taking care of your adorable new baby!)
http://veganideas.wordpress.com/
I highlighted your Zucchini Chocolate Bread (still – YUM)…
Stacy says
Girl, yes! That bread is just rockin’…thanks for highlighting it! 🙂
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Hard work is excellent, Liseanne! It builds character and earns you…potatoes and maple syrup. 🙂
Thanks for commenting. It’s always great to hear from people in large families themselves…at least the people that turned out well. 😉
Emily Cook says
Great post! These are many of the things we do to make our large family work! 🙂
Stacy says
Large families rock!
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Thanks, Emily! (I have an Emily, myself.)
Esther says
Thank you so much for this post! God really knew this is what I needed this morning. My husband and I want to start having kids, but I’m nervous when it comes to the financial part. Especially when you see that $200,000! But this has helped me look at everything differently and know that it is possible. And that I dont need to be rich to have family. Thank you!!
Stacy says
No you certainly don’t have to be rich. But, having a large family will make you feel rich indeed. 🙂 It’s all about working together and making do with what you have. You can do it!!
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Esther,
Your comment has been on my heart.
Please don’t let the world’s financial price tag affect your decision to add a priceless blessing to your life. There are definitely sacrifices, but in the midst of parenting, those sacrifices somehow fade away.
I don’t go out for pedicures and fancy salon appointments. I don’t have girl dates. I don’t hit the mall. I don’t wear name brand clothes. Date night is a meeting with my hubby to plan the week. Do we feel deprived? Not at all! Would we enjoy boogie boarding in Hawaii or taking a food tour in Italy? Oh, sure, but life is fulfilling without that type of extras…although we wouldn’t turn them down. 🙂
Would my kids like to have smart phones or name brand clothes? I asked them. They said, “No!” It’s easier to raise grounded children when life necessitates that you stay grounded.
The blessings do cost money, but you can do a lot with a little. Don’t let the numbers scare you. Get out there and have babies, Esther! 🙂
Nadia says
You got this Esther! I’m raising 6 young, special needs kids as a single parent. We live off of $33,600 a year and the rest goes towards schooling and debt/wealth.
Christine says
What a fabulous list! I only have three sadly, but you make some brilliant points about rethinking priorities. My children appreciate what they have and are grateful for extras. They do not expect things but give freely. The best things in life are not things!
Stacy says
This list is great for any number of children! It really helps you get a better look at being thrifty. 🙂 And you’re right…things aren’t really that important.
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Kudos on raising such terrific kiddos! 🙂
Laura says
Great post! These are tips that can work for just about any size family! Thanks!
Stacy says
You’re right! 🙂 It’s about being smart with what you’ve got!
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Definitely, Laura! Frugality is a good fit for any sized family.
Deanna says
I grew up the oldest of 8 and my parents were super frugal – having their example has helped me a ton. Dad worked and mom homeschooled us. Keep things simple, you don’t have to do every extra curricular activity, birthdays don’t have to involve a lot of money. The list could go on. I love seeing how other families do things!
Stacy says
I’m glad you mentioned birthdays. I’m always shocked at the time and expense that parents go to for every single birthday…it’s astonishing.
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Wonderful! Thank you for your comment, Deanna.
Yes, celebrations are easy to overdo. Not here! We keep it simple. My children get gifts that most parents would otherwise buy throughout the year, usually things they need and always something they want. Piano books, art books, clothes, art or writing supplies, even new socks are all exciting to my littles AND my teens. OF course, they like Legos, too.
Debra says
I grew up in a large family and so saw a lot of this first hand. I would love to have a large family, and when we were first married we were told Mark had the type of job that would make that possible. Turns out he no longer has “that type of job” and we still want a large family.
Stacy says
🙂 The larger, the better!
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
My husband is a traveling musician…not the glitzy rock star kind, but the singing in churches kind. If anyone does NOT have the kind of job to afford a large family, it’s so totally us. 😉
Blessings on that big family!
Johanna says
How do you homeschool for free? I currently have two children in a private Christian school which has a rather large price tag….and I’m looking for other options. Any advice?
Thanks 🙂
Stacy says
Johanna, there are a few resources in this post: http://www.stacymakescents.com/planning-to-homeschool
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Excellent question, Johanna.
There are numerous websites available that can help you teach your children for little to no cost. Just run a search and check out the sites for your favorite ones. Personally, I like the following:
http://www.amblesideonline.com
http://www.simplycharlottemason.com
http://www.khanacademy.com
And, of course, http://www.stacymakescents.com/planning-to-homeschool
There is also a book called Homeschooling on a Shoestring available at Amazon, with fairly common sense advice in it.
The less you spend on a curriculum, the more it will cost you in time. If you are paying large amounts for a Christian school, you have a massive number of options to spend less, but more than nothing. Most homeschool books can be purchased once and used for several children. I taught six children (so far) to read with a book that cost me $29. My son learned many of his reading skills during a free six-week online trial.
Libraries, homeschool groups, field trips, more libraries, educational sites…it takes effort, but it is doable…very doable.
Blessings on your decision and journey!
Brandy says
A lot of what I know about frugality, I learned from folks with big families. We use a dental school, share with others and slap a price tag on anything we can. 😉
Stacy says
Big families have it going on! 🙂
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
You’re a smart girl, Brandy! It’s wise to learn from others instead of going it alone and learning the hard way…like I did. 😉
Kayla says
love Love LOVE this list of tips! My husband are just starting our family-raising journey (we have one 4 month old son), but we are praying for a full quiver! I’m all about saving money, and the list above doesn’t have anything on it that’s too terribly difficult to do. Most of them can pretty much become “the rhythm of life” if you start them early enough. Thanks so much for sharing!
Stacy says
We’re praying for that same full quiver! 🙂
Christy, The Simple Homemaker says
Hooray, Kayla! Another full quiver out there! 🙂
Yes, all these tips are simply a way of life for us and for many others, and our process of saving money doesn’t get in the way of living.
God’s blessings on that quiver!