Everywhere we look, it seems like we’re inundated with things to do for Christmas:
Is there anything wrong with any of that? Absolutely not! Those are all wonderful things!!! The problem is, when those things stress us out, and keep us from enjoying our time with family, we don’t really need them.
It’s really easy to make excuses for NOT going on a date night with your spouse. No one argues whether or not it is important, but there seem to be all these “reasons” to not make it happen:
If it’s important, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.
–Ryan Blair
Barry and I probably went 6 years after we were first parents with NO DATES. None. Zero. After a while, we started to notice that things seemed more like we had become roommates with benefits than spouses.
You work so hard for a long time to woo each other and then all of a sudden you snag them and act like it no longer matters. I’ve got you, my pretty! And your lounge pants too! Barry and I decided to take matters into our own hands – because we had all the excuses. We decided date night needed to become a part of our marriage.
You guys, I understand date night is not easy when you have small kids. But I also understand not everyone is in that phase. Maybe your kids are older and you’re busy with sports. Maybe you don’t have kids but your schedule is PACKED. Maybe you live in a new place, away from family and friends.
I’m going to tell you what we’ve done for probably the last 10 years. It works for us. It’s something we look forward to each week for date night: Trashy Pizza Night.
No, this is not a night when we watch trashy movies and eat pizza. Trashy pizza is our bizarre way to say “not homemade” (I take Sundays off, ha ha).
Every Sunday night, EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT, after the kids go to bed, we eat pizza – usually from the frozen section of Aldi. 😉 And we watch a movie. We don’t do anything else. Our “date night” is a time where we talk, we eat, and we watch movies. That’s it.
And you guys, it’s legit. It doesn’t take any more planning than to make sure there is a frozen pizza on hand, a movie queued up, and the willingness to delay dinner until the kids go to bed. There really can’t be a much simpler date.
Make the effort – even dates at home are better than none at all.
I’m not sure about you, but the NUMBER ONE question my kids seem to ask is: Can I have a snack? I’ll be honest – this question drives me bonkers. “You just ate like 5 minutes ago. How can you be hungry again? You haven’t even finished chewing that last bite.” The snack basket idea has officially saved my sanity.
I often wonder why so many details were left out of the early parenting books I read, like What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Teaching your kids the hard things is almost entirely avoided. They don’t even cover things like:
Without exception, a common question that Barry and I get every single school year is: “Why did you guys decide to homeschool?”
When we first started out, we didn’t articulate our answer all that well, but the answer hasn’t changed. Simply put, we don’t believe you can separate God and education. Ever. This is our sixth year homeschooling, and we believe this now more than ever.
Most of you probably know, I have 4 children between the ages of 10 and 3. And y’all, my oldest, Annie, did not sleep the whole night through until she was nearly 5 years old. That’s right – just month before her 5th birthday! I tried nearly every sleep tip under the sun – I was desperate for sleep!
Without a doubt, that’s the question I receive the MOST often: “But Stacy…what do you do with your kids when you are ____?” (cleaning the house, making the food, folding laundry, etc.). Working with kids at home isn’t the easiest thing, but it IS possible.
For the first time in my parenting career, I had help this summer. Our family friend, Lillee, came over to watch the kids for a few hours each week (Mother’s Helper type) so I could work on my two online businesses. It has been wonderful to have that help working with kids. For 10 years I didn’t have that help.
As a dad of four young kids, I’m in awe of what it takes to be a mom. I’m definitely not capable of doing what most of you moms out there accomplish. I regularly tell people that Stacy is a superhero…and I mean it. But here’s the thing, ladies – you are way too hard on yourself. Every mom fail matters!
However, using someone’s cheery social media feed as your standard, you’ve decided that you can’t measure up and that you’re a complete disaster. In doing that, you’ve set an unrealistic expectation that you literally will never be able to live up to.
Let me preface this by saying I am not a doctor – shocker, right? I’m definitely not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or any sort of expert in these types of things. But I have done a lot of reading on the topic of conscious language and have all sorts of thoughts to share. Spoiler Alert: Conscious Language has changed a LOT (for the better) for us.
Guest post by Lisa Mullen, author of the recently-released “The Every Mom’s Meal Solution Handbook,” available now!
There are many challenging parts of being a wife, mom, and homemaker, but one of the most difficult can be figuring out what in the world to feed them day after day after day. And feeding them isn’t one of those things you can put off for a few days (or weeks) like laundry or windows, either. Oh no, they’ll hunt you down if you forget for even a few hours!
