This week I want to keep up my theme of writing about money and marriage.  Although I didn’t intend on turning it into a full-blown series, it has been fun to see the interaction it has created with readers and I truly believe it has helped many of you.  I know it has helped me to formulate my thoughts well enough to be able to write it all out. This week, I want to write as a husband as much as a financial counselor.  I know the demographics of readers on this site tell me it is mostly women who have clicked on here.  But if you’re reading this and you’re not a man, you probably know one or two of them and could share this article.  Plus, don’t you want to read something you can nod your head in agreement with?  One last thing

This week I decided to address another angle of what became a very hot topic several weeks back, “Marriage and Money.”  My initial post discussed the concept of “His Money and Her Money” and boy did you have varied opinions on how to handle that one!  Then I dug myself in deeper when I wrote about charitable giving when couples don’t agree.  I figure I’m on a roll so this week I’ll see if I can redeem myself a bit by sharing some essentials for marital financial bliss.

When Stacy and I got married I was clueless.  Yes, I’m admitting in front of the thousands of people who will read this article that I was clueless about so many things related to marriage and how to be married.  It was all new to me and I had to learn.  I still learn something new every day and thankfully, Stacy has been gracious enough to learn along with me for all these years.  Along the way, I’ve picked up some tricks when it comes to marriage and money that I thought might be of benefit to share.  Fortunately, I haven’t made all the mistakes (hey, we’ve only been married for 7.5 years!) but I’ve counseled several couples who just plain didn’t get it and were/are headed for disaster.  So what are my five top things husband and wife should agree on when it comes to money? [Read more…]

Since last week’s post about his money and her money was so popular (and controversial!), I thought I’d tackle another sensitive subject this week – relationships and tithing/charitable giving.  I’ve gotten several questions regarding the tithe and how it applies to us as Christians today.  Even though Stacy wrote on what the Bible teaches about tithing a while back, one thing I would like to address is the issue of what to do when your spouse disagrees about a course of action when it comes to giving.

First off, if couples agreed about everything when it came to how to spend their money, it would be SCARY.  So let me start by saying it is perfectly okay to disagree about money.  In fact, I would encourage you and your spouse to have some disagreements about things every now and then.  It will help make sure you actually communicate with each other about what matters to you, and that is always a good thing!   [Read more…]

It is common practice among married couples to keep separate checking/savings accounts and then separate out the bills in some agreed-upon manner and operate the household finances that way.  They’ll divide things up where he pays the mortgage and his car payment, while she pays her car payment, the electricity and the groceries…or something like that.  This concept has never made sense to me, but people will fight and argue until they’re blue in the face that this is the right way to operate a household budget.  I believe it is a dangerous way to manage your household finances for many reasons.  I wanted to use this post to talk about four reasons separate accounts are a bad idea: [Read more…]

There is a disease from which virtually every parent suffers.  It is called “Powdered Butt Syndrome.”  Simply put, Powdered Butt Syndrome is when your parents have the concept that since they powdered your butt, they don’t want your unsolicited advice about money.  I know this is true for two reasons: 1) I have parents and I’ve tried it and 2) I’ve heard about it and seen it before from others.  Very scientific of me coming to that conclusion, wasn’t it?  I’m commonly asked what you can do if you see your parents misbehaving with money.  You’ve probably tried to talk to them about money and offer your advice, and they roll their eyes or glaze over with the look that says, “I’m not listening to you; I still smell the baby powder I put on your butt 35 years ago.”  Maybe it’s because you’re totally broke and just think you have all the answers. Or maybe…just maybe…you really do have the answers for your parents’ financial woes!  This week, let’s talk about how to handle money with your parents. [Read more…]