I think this is the place where bananas come to die. We LOVE them. But no matter how many I buy, at least 4 are always in a state of decay. I’m not talking: eh, those are a little gone. I’m taking: if you pick it up, it will smush in your hand. Banana pancakes are one of the solutions to use such “smushy” bananas. 😉
I recently took some training at my day job on giving and receiving feedback, the psychology of high performance, and some HR and hiring issues. Over the course of that training, a few major things really stuck out to me, but one of the biggest was how terrible we are at dealing with conflict. My ears perked up when the instructor gave a simple model of dealing with conflict that actually makes sense. More on that shortly.
A part of our challenge with conflict is because we are so terrible at listening. We all took training to learn to communicate our thoughts and ideas – reading, writing, math, speech, etc. all are focused on helping us learn to formulate and share our thoughts – but how many of us took any training on listening? I know I didn’t, except for some on-the-job training when I worked at a call center years ago. The point is, we haven’t been taught how to listen, and we generally are pretty awful at it because our main goal is to get our point(s) across instead of understanding someone else’s.
If you couple our difficulty in listening, and our desire to be heard, with the supposed anonymity of being able to do and say what we want on the internet without any real recourse, it is no surprise that the comments section of most blogs and millions of posts on social media are a communications disaster. Frankly, we just don’t want to listen – we want to talk. The result = conflict.
A Conflict Model
I need to give credit to George Wright, from Wright One Consulting, because he’s the one who shared what I’m about to. However, I know it isn’t original to him. It is just an idea that we all need to see repeatedly…
What We Usually Do
What We Ought To Do
See the difference?
We usually approach conflict as a “you vs. me” situation. The reality of it is that it should be a “you and me vs. a problem we’re trying to solve”. But it’s so simple…if we would just embrace that simple strategy when in conflict with others! Dealing with conflict would simply be an exercise in good communication.
What’s the takeaway? Understand that the person with whom you’re in conflict is probably not a jerk who hates your guts and must be destroyed. He is probably just a normal person who is frustrated because you don’t understand his point, and you’re too busy trying to make him understand yours. How about trying to understand his perspective first?
Dealing with Conflict by Listening
Now, there are absolutely a few jerks who hate your guts and whose arguments you need to destroy. Your job is to become more in tune to how to respond to conflict by listening. I’ve been using this strategy for several weeks now and it is amazing how well it works. Give it a try!
Especially in today’s world, where everyone is supposed to be offended, no one can have an opinion different from mine, and we’re all unique and special (even though in many ways we’re not), becoming a better listener and recognizing that most of the time, conflict is not the same thing as a personal attack, will make a huge difference for us all.
I love to shop at Aldi. I remember my first trip there. It was with my friend, Erin, from The Humbled Homemaker. I was visiting her and she told me we HAD to go, because I didn’t yet have an Aldi at home…but now we DO!
And now? I’m hooked!
My favorite thing about Aldi…okay that’s a lie. I have many favorite things about Aldi! We’ll get to that shortly, and we’ll talk about what I buy at Aldi that is whole foods friendly.
It’s really easy to make excuses for NOT going on a date night with your spouse. No one argues whether or not it is important, but there seem to be all these “reasons” to not make it happen:
- It costs too much money.
- No one can watch the kids and babysitters are expensive.
- There’s nothing to do around here.
- No one can watch the kids and babysitters are expensive.
- We don’t have the extra time.
- No one can watch the kids and babysitters are expensive.
If it’s important, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.–Ryan Blair
Barry and I probably went 6 years after we were first parents with NO DATES. None. Zero. After a while, we started to notice that things seemed more like we had become roommates with benefits than spouses.
You work so hard for a long time to woo each other and then all of a sudden you snag them and act like it no longer matters. I’ve got you, my pretty! And your lounge pants too! Barry and I decided to take matters into our own hands – because we had all the excuses. We decided date night needed to become a part of our marriage.
You guys, I understand date night is not easy when you have small kids. But I also understand not everyone is in that phase. Maybe your kids are older and you’re busy with sports. Maybe you don’t have kids but your schedule is PACKED. Maybe you live in a new place, away from family and friends.
Take what you have and make it work.
I’m going to tell you what we’ve done for probably the last 10 years. It works for us. It’s something we look forward to each week for date night: Trashy Pizza Night.
What? Trashy Pizza Night?
No, this is not a night when we watch trashy movies and eat pizza. Trashy pizza is our bizarre way to say “not homemade” (I take Sundays off, ha ha).
Every Sunday night, EVERY SUNDAY NIGHT, after the kids go to bed, we eat pizza – usually from the frozen section of Aldi. 😉 And we watch a movie. We don’t do anything else. Our “date night” is a time where we talk, we eat, and we watch movies. That’s it.
And you guys, it’s legit. It doesn’t take any more planning than to make sure there is a frozen pizza on hand, a movie queued up, and the willingness to delay dinner until the kids go to bed. There really can’t be a much simpler date.
Make the effort – even dates at home are better than none at all.
Trying to do it all is gonna kill you. Literally. Stress kills. You can’t do it all. Stop trying.
Recently I’ve been pondering on the fact that society/social media, likes to point out when someone isn’t doing it all.
Eating healthy? Well, why don’t you filter your water too? Sleeping well Why the heck are you using a chemical cleaner? Taking your vitamins? Didn’t you know that you are killing yourself with EMFs? Kids in public school? Did you know they’re missing time at home with you? Kids in homeschool? Why aren’t you getting your kids some socialization and friends? So, let me remind you – you can’t do it all.[Read more…]
I shared this list as part of a Facebook Live “Top 10” series. I shared My Top 10 Favorite Online Stores – as well as my Top 10 Kitchen Gadgets – and I wanted to share this one with y’all too…my Top 10 Young Living products!
Disclaimer: If I were to share my favorite Young Living products tomorrow, I would probably have different things on the list!
Because I just love Young Living and my love for these things changes based on my mood, y’all! I use so many Young Living products, choosing my favorite is like picking a favorite child… IMPOSSIBLE. But today, I’m going to share my top 10! In no particular order, my Top 10 Young Living Products are:
- Thieves Household Cleaner. One capful poured in a spray bottle – filled with water up to the 24oz line. I get about 22 bottles of full-size cleaner. The bottle costs me $22.50. I’ve never used another cleaner that was safe, that we like, that replaced every other cleaner in my house.
- Thieves Laundry Detergent. Eli has super sensitive skin, and he reacts to everything synthetic. Because of this, I have to be very careful what I use on him and this is a winner for us. I dilute it in half – it’s strong enough to do this! Then I put half of it in the is pump bottle diluted with water. Two pumps is all I need. One bottle lasts me around 8 months!
- Progessence Plus. This is made from Wild Yam Extract. I put two drops on my arm every day. This helps me feel like a normal person! After I had Ruth Ann, this was my emotions were all over the place. This really helps me be an easier person to get along with and a better mom. Also, PMS went buh-bye.
- Super-B. Before finding this supplement, every day around 2pm, I got a wave of tiredness so heavy I thought I wasn’t going to make it through the day. I take two of these every day, and now, I don’t have that anymore! Our supplements are better than any other because most of them have essential oils in them which makes them more bioavailable. This means it is easier for your body to absorb – which means you absorb more of the vitamin you are taking. Don’t worry if your pee is bright neon, that’s normal!
Super B helps me to be a Super Mom!
- Peace and Calming. The smell of Peace and Calming is my absolute favorite smell.Everybody has a different one – my kids like Stress Away and Valor. It makes me so calm, y’all. For whatever reason, wind makes me nervously anxious – flying too. This is my favorite soothing oil to help me when I’m anxious, scared, stressed, etc.
- Lemon. I love this because I have children. Why? Here’s what children like to do… draw on walls, put stickers on things (and launder them), get gum on their hair and their clothes. use sharpie on the walls, use sharpie on the kitchen table, use sharpie on all. the. things. What is the sharpie deal!? We go through so much lemon because this gets off everything. Annie got gum on her best silk dress I thought it was a goner – I tried everything. But then when I remembered the lemon. Two drops – left it sitting on the counter and I wiped it off with my finger. This gets off sticky, greasy, anything that sticks on and won’t come off.
Hands-down, I use Lemon than any other oil.
- Sensation Massage Oil. It’s about to get exciting up in here! This will make your bedroom sensational. This is best lube I’ve ever found. Girl. It is like Magic Kingdom inside a bottle. It feels like silk and smells amazing. How many people do you know can say… “When we get jiggy with it under those sheets it smells so good!” Not before now 🙂
- Lip Balm. I am a lip balm snob, meaning I don’t like most lip balms. I have tried so many brands and varieties and I am in love with Young Living’s lip balm. It comes in Lavender, Grapefruit, Cinnamint. I have it in every room in this house, in my purse, in the car – all the places.
- Charcoal Bar Soap. This is actually my new favorite – it’s a newer product from Young Living. It’s made for your face – all skin types really. Works especially well if you’ve got acne-prone or oily skin, but it’s gentle enough for sensitive skin. And it works well for dry skin too. And one thing you might not know about Charcoal… it’s also deodorizing. So we’ve been using it in the shower too – washing our whole body with it! I just love it. It’s definitely my favorite soap I’ve used in a long time. And Barry loves it – it’s not just for women!
- Cool-Azul Pain Cream. Parenthood is hard and guys…some days, I hurt, but in a good way. This stuff is amazing. I put it all over my aches and pains and it works better than anything else in this world. Plus it smells good – like wintergreen chewing gum. I bought this for Barry but I use it more than he does. I really love that it’s got that cooling sensation and slightly numbing effect. One tube lasts a long time! I’ve only purchase 2 tubes in 2 years.
There are more…
There ya have it! I hope that was helpful – whether you’re a Young Living member already and looking to branch out OR you are not a member and wondering what other options are available.
It’s not just oils ya’ll – it’s a lifestyle. If you want to see how we use oily products daily, I’ve got that up for ya too.
When we had Ruthie, our church delivered several meals to our house – because they’re holy like that. And we love them. Our pastor’s wife, Miss Sally, (I know, I know, it is technically “MRS. Sally”, but the name Miss stuck) is the most amazing woman of God you’ll ever meet. She’s gentle. She’s kind. She just casually dropped off a chocolate cake. Like it was no big thing. And friends, I had never had Miss Sally’s cake before. But I can tell you, I never want to be without it AGAIN.
Hi, I’m Stacy. I’m a 1wing2 on the Enneagram. If you’ve got ZERO idea what that means, let me help out. The Enneagram (or enneagram types) is a personality typing “system.”
The Enneagram of Personality, or simply the Enneagram, is a model of the human psyche which is principally understood and taught as a typology of nine interconnected personality types.—Wikipedia
I went kicking and screaming into this whole thing – I don’t really like personality typing. In the past, I’ve thought it was crazy stupid and why on earth would I want to be “labeled.” But friends, I have to tell you, knowing my Enneagram type has given me SO MUCH FREEDOM. Learning more about myself gives freedom to be the best version of me, but also, and probably more importantly, freedom to work to UNDERSTAND OTHERS.
Did you catch that?
I used to have the hardest time understanding why my friends would do certain things or react in a certain manner. They’d do something where I’d react, “I would NEVER do such a thing…” But then I’d see them able to do things I didn’t have the capacity to do.[Read more…]
(Saving Mommy’s sanity since 2018)
I’m not sure about you, but the NUMBER ONE question my kids seem to ask is: Can I have a snack? I’ll be honest – this question drives me bonkers. “You just ate like 5 minutes ago. How can you be hungry again? You haven’t even finished chewing that last bite.” The snack basket idea has officially saved my sanity.
I often wonder why so many details were left out of the early parenting books I read, like What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Teaching your kids the hard things is almost entirely avoided. They don’t even cover things like:
- Kids are LOUD
- There’s going to be a LOT of poop (and not always in a diaper)
- You’re going to have to teach them about sex one day
- And so many, many more!