Today’s post might be considered a tough love conversation. Not everyone thinks change is good thing! I’m sure this is one of those topics not everyone will like. That’s how it is on Sunday sometimes. When are sweating in the pew and can’t wait to get out there…it’s just a sign it was probably a good sermon you needed to hear!
I think there is this overwhelming sense that we as women have that there is a certain, right way things should be. And we are often hard on people who do things differently – when we shouldn’t be. The reason I started thinking about this was because lately I feel like a lot of women feel like they need to apologize when things in their life change.
But y’all, change is a good thing!
For example, let’s say you are going thru a very hard time financially. When the money is tight and your budgets are small, you have to cut back in certain areas. You live on a bare bones grocery budget because you are in a certain season of life where that is what the circumstances call for. But then you work hard and the Lord brings you out of those financial struggles! Now you’re on the other side, thriving! I’d say that change was a good thing, wouldn’t you?
Women tell me all the time about how guilty they feel when they are better off financially. They tell me they feel bad about spending too much money on groceries. On the one hand, I get it. But on the other hand, I just want to shake them! I just want to say, “So you’re telling me you feel bad because God has blessed you? You’re in a different season of life! You shouldn’t feel guilty for being in a better place financial and having more money to spend on groceries. Don’t be sorry – this is a positive time in your life. This change is a good thing. No apology is needed!”
A handful of people have told me recently, “I miss the old Stacy from a few years ago.”
Well I sure don’t! Because the Stacy from three years ago didn’t want to smile, had no self-confidence, apologized for everything, was a huge people pleaser, didn’t want to play with her kids, and never wanted to leave the house. I’ve grown since then. I’m glad I’m a different person! We shouldn’t stay the same. We should roll with the punches and adapt when necessary.
Maybe you’re ridiculously busy right now because your kids are little or you’re in a very stressful time in your career or you, or someone you love, is struggling with their health. We all work thru these various seasons of life. We change and grow because that’s how life works.
Before we had kids, Barry and I were very involved in church – volunteering SEVERAL times a week. I have four small children now – I just can’t do that anymore! Could people have gotten mad about this? Sure. But thankfully, they didn’t. Because they understand that as the stages of life we’re in change, there is no way any person stays the same – change is a good thing! You have to roll with the punches or else you will be a pretty miserable person, always stuck in the same spot.
Some people might be annoyed at you because you’ve changed and grown.
But that’s on them, not you! You don’t apologize when your stage of life changes! You’re in a different place. As a woman, there will never be a time when things aren’t changing. If I tried to always stick to the same schedule and routine every year (or month for that matter!), I’d be going insane! I have to roll with the punches. Be flexible. Allow yourself to adapt and don’t be dissappointed or worried that you aren’t the same from year to year. The moment I stop learning and changing and growing – the Lord better be taking up from the earth.
Some people don’t like that I dye my hair purple or talk about natural products.
But it’s who I am right now. That’s something and I love and it’s who God has created me to be for this season. The me in college didn’t talk about kids, marriage, or homemade bread. I was in a different space and had different passions. We are always adding new things that we love and enjoy. I understand that when someone in our life changes, it can be hard! But you’ve got to realize the same thing happens to everyone! We all grow and change.
Maybe you’re moving, having a baby, or you came into money. Maybe you decide you’re going to start taking your health more seriously. Don’t apologize for being in a different phase in your life. Just roll with those punches! The people who truly love you will love seeing positive change in your life.
And if someone hasn’t earned a spot as a truth-teller in your life, don’t listen to their opinions!
You can’t please everyone – you never will. The people in your inner circle, who have earned the right to speak into your life, will keep you honest. If those people begin to question what’s going on or voice doubt, listen. An honest, open, positive discussion with those people will be life-giving, and help to make sure you stay on track. However, “everybody else” doesn’t get a say. It’s your life, so it’s that simple. Don’t apologize for being more confident, having more financial security, being in better shape, etc. If you’ve been around for awhile you’ve seen a lot of changes in me. And you know what? I hope you continue to see a lot more! I hope I continue to change and grow and you all do too. Because if you’ve learned one thing today…growth as a person and positive change is a GOOD thing, y’all!
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