I had a “Come to Jesus” moment. Sitting on my couch, holding my phone and sending emotionally crazy texts to my husband and my friends Karen and Melanie – I felt like I was losing it. But what I didn’t realize – I was about to learn the gift of no.
If something didn’t change, I had a first class ticket to Crazytown…and it was a one-way ticket.
Did you know it’s hard to keep up a facade that everything is great when something is really not great? It is – I kept up that facade for three years. Maybe you’ve kept it up for longer. My particular issue was difficulty with homeschooling my children – maybe yours is something else.
Every. Single. Day. I ended up crying. Or my kids did. Or ALL of us did. Homeschool shouldn’t be this hard, should it? Really? Should I dread it the moment my eyes pop open?
Honey, if something is making you cry every single day and dread the rising sun – SOMETHING IS WRONG. You need to fix it.
Why are you doing this particular crazy thing? You shouldn’t do anything without a reason. If you can’t stop and tell someone exactly why you’re doing the action that’s making you crazy, then you need to rethink some things.
Let me tell you what I determined the problem to be:
I had stopped saying “No.” No more. No thanks, I’m good. No, that seems like too much. No, I don’t need any more information on that.
I have issues with overwhelm. In this case I was overwhelmed by trying to do TOO MUCH because I had stopped saying no.
I was making my kids crazy by being “General Homeschool Mommy” – trying to be the best, by listening to all the best podcasts, reading all the best books, and using all the best programs and all the best curricula. Being The Best is a job that’s too hard for me. And I quit. I’m saying NO.
I couldn’t tell you why I was trying to teach my kids most of what I was trying to force them to learn. It was making all of us miserable when all I really want my kids to be able to do at this point is:
- Love God
- Love each other/their “neighbor”
- Teach themselves
So, how am I leaving Crazytown?
I’m saying no. I put the curriculum away and we’re taking the route that lets me say, “this is why I’m homeschooling my kids.” So they learn to love – so they learn to read – so they teach themselves.
We have never been so happy – and all this time it was because I was withholding the gift of no.
No more programs and extra activities that stress us out. No to more podcasts, books, blogs, or articles about how I can be better and do more. Because we don’t need MORE. We need US. Most of all, I need my people and THEY NEED ME.
When I posted my realization on Instagram – you responded with such enthusiasm and support that I realized WE ARE ALL SUFFERING FROM THIS PROBLEM!