It’s a beautiful Sunday morning and my family of six is nestled together in our church pew, listening intently as the pastor brings a good word from the pulpit. No more than five seconds pass and I look over to see my 3 year old has drawn a mural on the cover the hymnal and my 5 year old has torn his bulletin into about 800 tiny pieces. While I’m distracted by this, my one year old in my lap manages to tap her snack bowl in just the right spot to baptize the women in the row in front of us with a shower of Cheerios. Yep…church is hard right now.
Can I just say that again? Church is hard!!
We have been at our current church for about 3 years. We’re Reformed Presbyterian (PCA) and we were searching for something pretty specific. We wanted a church where the children were welcome with the family and stayed during the entire church service. I realize some people don’t like that, but this is very important to me and Barry – a necessity.
We want our kids to be with us on Sunday mornings.
Why? Because we want them to experience Sunday morning worship with us from birth to adulthood. We want them to become familiar with the order of church service, to learn how to sit quietly and reverently, to listen to the pastor speak from the pulpit, to experience communion, baptisms and watch new families join the church. We don’t want our family to be separated during the church service. That doesn’t mean this is the only way, but this is the choice we made.
Because we have made this choice to worship together, church is hard right now. Ridiculously hard.
Every Sunday, I have to give myself a pep talk to go. Because 9 times out of 10, I don’t want to go! But between Barry and me, we always make the decision and go – even though we know church is going to be hard. It’s hard to teach them to be quiet and sit still. But we believe it’s a very important lesson for them to learn.
That may mean sometimes, when church is over, I have no idea what the message was about and I don’t always know what is going on. I am trying to keep my kids from throwing a Bible up into pew number 8 or pulling each other’s hair, y’all – I can’t always do that AND follow along with the sermon! But, even though church is hard FOR ME – I know my kids are listening, learning and growing. I have to do it – even when it’s hard.
Besides the fact that church is hard, some Sundays, it might even be embarrassing! Like the aforementioned Cheerio baptism. But we have to suck it up and go anyway! I promise there are some Sundays when I just don’t want to go to church. Does that mean I stay home? No! All the parents out there who are worshiping together as a family on Sunday mornings are right there in the trenches with you! Even if our churches are 500 miles apart, I’m fighting this Sunday battle with you in spirit!
Keep going – even though church is hard.
Don’t give up the habit of meeting together and being in church as a family. It’s important to go – even if you may think it’s not worth it. Even though you don’t think your kids are listening or paying attention, a few days, weeks, or years down the road you will see the fruit of those long Sundays. The word has been planted.
Disclaimer: This is not a shaming session for parents who handle church differently, nor am I asking for advice on how to make Sundays easier. This is just meant to be an encouragement to those of you that might be struggling and wondering if it’s all worth it. I am right there with you. Don’t give up.
Thank you for this article. I have a 2 year old and we go to Church at least twice per week. Our 2 year old can’t stay still, she runs around if you let her and when you don’t she starts screaming.
Hang in there, Momma! You’re doing a great thing by having her in church, even when it’s no fun. Thanks for commenting.
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Thank you for the encouragement! Today my 2 year old was basically rolling on the ground during church… at least he was quiet! I worry about disturbing other people. One step at a time!
We’ve all been there – and some of us are actually there right now! LOL. As hard as it is, don’t worry about what other people are thinking – just do the best you can with your child. And the plus side – it’s only a stage!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
I sooooo needed this encouragement!
SO thankful this post was just what you needed 🙂
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
I read a great story from a mom who was completely discouraged after attending to her infant all through the service and so wasn’t able to focus on the sermon at all. Just as she was wondering if it was all worth it an elderly woman on her way out leaned down and said, “At least the devil knows who’s side you’re on!” She said that made her realize it was all worth it.
Oh, I love that! It can be discouraging, but it is so worth it. Thanks for sharing!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
We raised 5 like that. My mom always said that church is not about you at this stage of your life but about teaching your children to worship. Your time will come sooner than you think. Now my children are grown and married and teaching their children.
AMEN. Thanks for the comment, Sandy!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Yes, Yes, and Yes. It is sooo important and I encourage you to keep doing it – even on those hard days. We have 6 that are getting older now, but we ALWAYS went to church (and still do) What helped my children learn how to sit quietly in church was to practice at home. Every week day I read a Bible story to my kids in the living room and we worked on Bible memory together. I deliberatlhy made it last 20- 30 min. so they got used to sitting quietly that long at home. THAT is when I worked on training them how to sit still. They were so used to our moring routine at home of sitting quietly during our Bible time, that it made it so much easier to do it on Sundays. It WAS work, but I stayed consistant and didn’t let them get away with anything at home that I wouldn’t let them get away with in church :). Keep up the good work. I can tell you are a great mom, Stacy.
My parents also had “practice church” at home. My husband and I also plan to raise our kids going to service with us. Our oldest is just under 6 months, but we have been planning how we want to go as a family!
Love it! Practice church is a great idea!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Such a sweet comment, Carrie! Staying consistent is SOOO key! And I love the idea of training for church at home. Thanks for the comment!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
I so respect your choice and want to encourage you and Barry. My husband and I raised our kids the same way and we believe that the seed of the word took root deep in their hearts at a young age and is growing strong in their lives now, when they have families of their own. We have walked away from churches where Children’s Church ruled the day. Our kids stayed with us and I wouldn’t change a thing. Sure it was often difficult but the fruit will be worth it. Keep up the good work. Your kids will thank you, ours did.
Thank you for the kind words, Erica. I love how you put that – definitely don’t know how and when the seed of the word will take root in their little hearts.
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Amen. I couldn’t agree with you more. Hang in there. The peace and quiet you’re sacrificing now is making an investment in your children. You can’t make a better investment than Jesus : )
Thanks for the comment, Karen! You’re so right 🙂
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Thank you, Stacy, for a VERY timely post! I have been struggling to just GET to church with my 7year old and 3 month old. I needed this reminder, today.
Thanks for commenting, Debbie! Glad to hear it was the perfect time for this reminder 🙂
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Stacy, I am so happy you are encouraging families to attend church with their would little ones. When I joined my church, the congregation was all elderly (so am I). There were 2 children being raised by their grandparents. I joined the church and am now bringing 2 of my granddaughters, and we have a young woman with her 3 kids. Pastor decided we needed a Sunday School for those 7, but he wants them to attend service, too. So Sunday School is 45 minutes BEFORE worship, and they discuss the gospel that will be read in worship so the kids have a “heads up” on the subject. The youngest is 3 and a wild kid. He has made the congregation and even the pastor laugh during service on more than one occasion. Pastor says there isn’t a kid who can drown him out, so please don’t feel you need to remove them. We elderly parishioners thoroughly enjoy the kids and their antics even during worship because they are THERE! So please bring your kids to church!!!
Oh that’s awesome! I think you are really getting the best of both worlds :):) Thanks for sharing, Gale!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Been there. Done that. Don’t regret it one little bit!!! My daughter is 21 years old and away at college. On the weekends she stays in the town her college is in, she has a church that is she is active in and faithful in attendance. She has been accepted to med school in the fall and is beginning to research churches near her new school. Church is hard when your babies are little but the rewards are great for faithfully attending service. God blesses you in ways you could never anticipate!!!!
Aww – that’s so great to hear! Thank you so much for sharing, Donna!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
So true! And good for you for taking all of your kids into the service with you. We do that, too, and often feel like a minority. But it’s important to us, and we’re already seeing the benefits in our older kids. Thanks for the laughs and encouragement!
It’s nice to be part of a church that appreciates having children in the service. Thank you for the comment, Kathleen!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Thank you for this! My five kids are a bit older now (the “baby” is 9) but I remember these days clearly. I found myself wondering if there was any point in going since it seemed no one was listening! I persevered and now they all sit and pay attention wonderfully in church. Keep on keeping on mama! I know that this article would have been much needed encouragement at the time. Thank you for opening yourself and sharing the difficult, helping those in the trenches.
What an encouraging comment, Shauna! Thank you for sharing!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
I love this! When my daughter was younger I got so frustrated because it seemed like she wanted to nurse or fuss the entire service. Every Sunday! I dreaded going but knew that it was important for my family and I have an older son. So we got ready every Sunday and went. Now she is older and it’s much easier. My son seemed like a breeze for church. Hahaha. At 11 and 6 the stuff I hear them say about God just amazes me. It gets easier. Just continue hanging on.
Great encouragement – thanks for sharing, Amanda!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team