I recently took some training at my day job on giving and receiving feedback, the psychology of high performance, and some HR and hiring issues. Over the course of that training, a few major things really stuck out to me, but one of the biggest was how terrible we are at dealing with conflict. My ears perked up when the instructor gave a simple model of dealing with conflict that actually makes sense. More on that shortly.

A part of our challenge with conflict is because we are so terrible at listening. We all took training to learn to communicate our thoughts and ideas – reading, writing, math, speech, etc. all are focused on helping us learn to formulate and share our thoughts – but how many of us took any training on listening? I know I didn’t, except for some on-the-job training when I worked at a call center years ago. The point is, we haven’t been taught how to listen, and we generally are pretty awful at it because our main goal is to get our point(s) across instead of understanding someone else’s.

Trying to do it all is gonna kill you. Literally. Stress kills. You can’t do it all. Stop trying.

Recently I’ve been pondering on the fact that society/social media, likes to point out when someone isn’t doing it all. 

Eating healthy? Well, why don’t you filter your water too? Sleeping well Why the heck are you using a chemical cleaner? Taking your vitamins? Didn’t you know that you are killing yourself with EMFs? Kids in public school? Did you know they’re missing time at home with you? Kids in homeschool?  Why aren’t you getting your kids some socialization and friends? So, let me remind you – you can’t do it all.

Hi, I’m Stacy. I’m a 1wing2 on the Enneagram. If you’ve got ZERO idea what that means, let me help out. The Enneagram (or enneagram types) is a personality typing “system.”

The Enneagram of Personality, or simply the Enneagram, is a model of the human psyche which is principally understood and taught as a typology of nine interconnected personality types.

—Wikipedia

I went kicking and screaming into this whole thing – I don’t really like personality typing. In the past, I’ve thought it was crazy stupid and why on earth would I want to be “labeled.” But friends, I have to tell you, knowing my Enneagram type has given me SO MUCH FREEDOM. Learning more about myself gives freedom to be the best version of me, but also, and probably more importantly, freedom to work to UNDERSTAND OTHERS.

Did you catch that?

I used to have the hardest time understanding why my friends would do certain things or react in a certain manner. They’d do something where I’d react, “I would NEVER do such a thing…” But then I’d see them able to do things I didn’t have the capacity to do.

Back in May, I did a series of photo posts on my personal Facebook page – about granny panties. Yup, you heard me. I was sick and tired of having wedgies all day – and having these skimpy panties that didn’t feel good (or look good) on my rear end. I WAS FINISHED! I wanted some granny panties – the kind that actually covers your backside and makes you feel supported! So here is my official review of all the granny panties I tried!

It’s really easy to SAY you want to establish a new habit – we say it all the time:

• I’m going to start exercising!
• I’m going to get up early!
• I’m going to take a shower!
• I’m going to take my supplements!
• I’m going to wear clothes today!

And we do okay…for like 3 days. Then we totally bomb it in The Marcels Blue Moon style.

Why is it so difficult?

Why do we say that we want to do new things, but we don’t follow through? Is it because we don’t have any willpower? 

Possibly, but I think it comes down to self-discipline. Which really isn’t the fun answer, is it? I’m known for giving the Not Fun Answer. Sorry.

So, I want to share with you guys something that has made it easier for me to develop a new habit once I decide it is a priority for me.

You only need to do 5 productive things, every single day, to be successful in this thing we call LIFE. That’s a pretty bold statement, but I think it might actually be an accurate one. But it sure does make you wonder…what are those five things?!

Just in case y’all were curious…this post topic about communicating with a busy spouse was actually Barry’s idea. Barry is very busy and so am I. But that doesn’t mean we can skip the communication aspect of our relationship. It’s crucial to any healthy relationship – especially a marriage – to have consistent communication.

I can tend toward pessimism. That shocks most people when I say it because I normally have an upbeat attitude and I’m always making jokes. But it’s true – I pretty regularly look at the glass half empty. Thankfully, I have found one small action can change your entire day. What is that one small action? Keep reading. What is our goal with that small action?