• Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • Services
  • Resources
  • Contact
  • Shop
    • Shop Now
    • Cart
    • Checkout
    • Return Policy
    • My Account
  • Food
  • Family
  • Finances
  • Fundamentals
You are here: Home / Family / What to Do When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree About Money

by Sonja Sarr  4 Comments

What to Do When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree About Money

What to Do When You and Your Spouse Don't Agree About Money Humorous Homemaking

Hello everyone! This is Sonja Sarr again, from Practical Stewardship thankful to be guest posting here on Stacy’s blog.

A few years ago it was apparent that it was time for the Sarrs to get a new-to-us family car. We bought our little white 1994 Toyota Tercel for $5000 cash in 1999 when we got married. We paid cash $4950 for our used Volkswagon Passat Wagon in 2006. By the time 2009 rolled around we had our third child. Before having our little guy, I made sure three car seats would fit in the back seat. We made it work, but it was anything but ideal.

What Do You Do When You and Your Spouse Don’t Agree About Money?

Thrifty Thinking

By the time 2010 rolled around the car was falling apart little piece by little piece. We weren’t really excited about all of the little plastic parts disintegrating: the head rest, the glove box (several times-we ended up holding it in place with part of a plastic coat hanger), the locks, side mirrors, and just about anything else on the car’s interior that was made of plastic. To make it even more interesting, Jonathan (also affectionately known as JSarr) was virtually certain the engine was built around the alternator. Very strange. It was really strange, actually. It was time to get a new-to-us car.

We had already paid off JSarr’s $38,000 college debt, and were able to focus on saving for a car. We saved $7000. I was perfectly content with buying a $7000 car. But Jonathan, on the other hand, really wanted to get something that cost a lot more. Like $10,000 more. This is where we disagreed. I thought since we didn’t have the money, we shouldn’t spend $17,000. JSarr was of a different persuasion. He thought since we were able to borrow money from someone we knew and who trusted us, we should get something of quality even if it meant having a loan. Although if we were having to finance through a company, JSarr would not have wanted to buy a more expensive car.

So we talked, and it didn’t take long to make a decision. We didn’t shout. We didn’t fight…

So what should you do when your spouse and you don’t agree about money? Submit. Talk kindly. Try to make a decision together. Pray that God’s will be done (not for your own way to be done). If your spouse thinks he is right and that’s that, then leave it. This is hard to hear, and even harder to do. In the case of Jonathan and myself, I knew us. If we had a debt to pay, all extra money would go to it, and we would get “gazelle intense” to borrow a phrase from Dave Ramsey. We would pay it down as quickly as possible. My goal was to pay $1,000 a month and be done with the loan in 10 months. We ended up paying off the loan in 9 months. Sometimes I even made weekly payments to be done with it. If you haven’t ever paid down debt before, it’s totally addicting and fun! Call me crazy. Anyway, we haven’t had a loan since except for home loans.

Looking back I am still not excited about the fact that we had a loan for a car. I think you should live within your means. If I were to counsel others about getting a car loan, depending on the situation, in most instances I would be inclined to say, “Don’t get it if you don’t have the money!” And Jonathan mostly agrees, too. We don’t spend recklessly. So for the sake of fellowship, loving and submitting to my husband, I agreed to take this personal loan. Ultimately, I trusted Jonathan’s judgement and wisdom as the Lord works in him. Once the decision was made to take out the loan I didn’t grouse, grumble or complain (Jonathan read this and I guess he agrees because he didn’t edit this sentence out). We got to the debt right away and took care of it. Loan paid off, burden lifted, still in fellowship! Ephesians 5:18-33.

What do you do when you disagree with your spouse about money? Do you spend money prayerfully?

You can read more about us here.

Note from Stacy and Barry: This is a challenging article – the idea of biblical submission PLUS a discussion on money?!?!  That’s a big one.  Barry has written a few articles that may give you some additional direction on this topic, if you want to dig a little deeper.

  • Marriage and Money: Five Big Things to Agree On
  • What is Biblical Submission
  • Five Minutes on Submission

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)

Other Posts You Might Like

About Sonja Sarr

Sonja is a lover of the Lord, her husband, 3 kids, life, music and more. She is a thrifty thinker, and is always trying to find a more frugal way to make and/or do things. Sonja blogs over at Practical-stewardship.com where she and her husband share their passion for stewardship of God's gifts with whole food recipes, thrifty thinking, fitness, "For the Heart" posts and more. “Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2 ESV).

Visit Sonja at http://www.practical-stewardship.com/.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the content above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase an item, I may receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Comment Policy: I love reading your thoughts and input on what you read here. I'm sure we'll disagree sometimes and that's okay! In those cases, do what's right for you and yours. As with any form of communication, only post comments that move the discussion in a positive direction.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Comments

  1. Angela says

    February 13, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    I hear what you’re saying with this article. I did support my husband when he spent far beyond our means. Knowing full well that I am the saver and he is the spender. I think there are times we do need to put our foot down and simply say “no.” I believe what we walked through was redeemed by my husband truly experiencing the burden and limitation of debt. It was well worth the life lesson. However I am in a place now where I will not co-sign for a loan. I have drawn a line when it comes to debt. My boundaries have helped our relationship. Submission is mutual. I don’t believe there is any place for hierarchy in biblical marriage.

    Reply
  2. Sonja Sarr says

    March 25, 2014 at 10:54 am

    Thanks, Stacy, for letting me post again! God bless!

    Reply
  3. Alexandra says

    March 24, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Sonja,
    I was in this same situation back in December. However, it was a matter of the timing belt breaking in the interference engine of my 2000 Subaru Forrester (apparently when that happens the engine must be replaced) and a new engine would cost more than the car was worth running. We had a down payment of $10,000 and needed to borrow $7000 I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but in the end us borrowing the money made it so that we could get a car that will last us until we are a family of 4. Also we knew that we would be able to pay it off quickly as my salary goes to savings/debt repayment so we knew we would get the money I just don’t get paid months at a time. 🙂

    Reply
    • Sonja Sarr says

      March 25, 2014 at 10:53 am

      How funny! Almost the same situation! Keep on!

      Reply


Hello! I’m Stacy!

I believe God created you to be the hero of your home. You CAN manage your home instead of it managing you. That’s why I empower women with simple solutions for their homemaking needs – because if it’s not easy, you won’t do it. {Read More…}

As Featured on the Dave Ramsey Show

Stuff You Really Should Check Out

home management course

humoroushomemaking

➡️Just a subpar mom letting Jesus lead the way.
❤️❤️ Christ-based family life & homemaking + homeschool
This page is on sabbatical 🤍

Stacy Myers: Redeemed
Hey guys - just a wee note. Our family has entered Hey guys - just a wee note. Our family has entered a season of silence and solitude. After so many changes last year, we finally just needed it as we seek what’s next.
If you need me or wanna chat before I’m back, you can always contact me via email which is the quickest way to get a hold of me. Stacy@humoroushomemaking.com
Trashy Pizza Date Night ❤️❤️ Trashy Pizza Date Night ❤️❤️
There might have been a few pairs of undies that I There might have been a few pairs of undies that I’ve come across from my kiddos that I thought: nope, ain’t worth it.

And pitched them. Don’t turn me in. 🤣🤣🤪
Instagram post 17950327165660081 Instagram post 17950327165660081
You’ll either love this tip or hate it. 🤣⠀ You’ll either love this tip or hate it. 🤣⠀
⠀
If you hate it, just scroll on by. 🤍 But it was helpful to us. 🥰⠀
⠀
Often, I have a hard time getting my kids to remember things I’ve taught them, like how to properly clean a toilet or clean mirrors. “I forgot.”⠀
⠀
You know what they don’t forget? Stuff they watch on You Tube. 🤪🤪⠀
⠀
So I went to You Tube and sourced kid videos about cleaning the bathroom. The kids all watched them. ⠀
⠀
Now they’re all cleaning their own bathrooms. Boom. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Worked for us. ⠀
⠀
** Just search on YT for “kid cleaning videos” and see what you find. Different parents have different parameters for what they allow. Barry and I screened videos first but each person can find their own. ❤️🤍
Time to add your own! I’ll go first! Girl, stop Time to add your own!

I’ll go first! Girl, stop hustling.

I’ll go again! Girl, eat a cookie. 🤣🤣
Did you have a stinky 2021? Or year before that? O Did you have a stinky 2021? Or year before that? Or month?⠀
⠀
Hard times can make us or break us.

Our family experienced some big changes and shocks and pruning (removing) in 2021. Some days I didn’t want to get out of my house or my bed.⠀
⠀
But already we are coming out of darkness into His wonderful light and I can see - I can see the benefits of hard times. ⠀
⠀
New beautiful growth and hope. ❤️⠀
⠀
What is one benefit YOU have experienced from hard times?
This culture has nothing to offer our family.⠀
⠀
I lived for too long believing that hustle was to the benefit of this family. ⠀
⠀
God’s call upon our life isn’t to hustle and grind our days away while we prove our worth and see our success. ⠀
⠀
No, friends. It’s God’s desire that when people look at you and me, they don’t see US or what WE accomplished but instead say:⠀
⠀
Wow, only God did that. ⠀
⠀
The Myers aren’t building an empire. We are building our family, day by day. Tiny moment by tiny moment. 🤍
Vintage candy style. Vintage candy style.
Load More... Follow on Instagram

© 2022 Humorous Homemaking LLC · All Rights Reserved. · Privacy Policy

 

Loading Comments...
 

    loading Cancel
    Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
    Email check failed, please try again
    Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.