Before someone calls CPS, let me explain. Every member of this house is expected to contribute. If you want to live here, you’re going to work. Plain and simple. And it’s Biblical – so just try and argue with me. 😉
What happens if I decide to take the day off because “I just don’t feel like it?” Well kids, I know I should wash your underwear and fix some lunch…but yeah, I’m just not feeling it. So, whatever. I’m gonna lay here and watch The Young and the Restless while you play in the street – because I’m done being responsible and all that jazz. It’s just not for me.
I’m done with adulting.
*Blank stares from children followed by the question: “What’s for lunch?”*
From the time we’re born, we’re learning to be a contributing member of society – or more importantly, the family. If you let your kids be lazy when they’re kids, guess what they’ll grow up to be? DING DING DING! Lazy teens/adults!
It’s really hard to be employed (for long) if you’re lazy.
So, we all work around here. Barry works all day and then comes home and does more work. I work all day (even in my sleep because I dream I’m working). Annie has chores. Andy and Eli have chores. And Ruthie works hard all day being cute – it’s a tough job, but someone has to do it. But even in her baby stage, she’s learning to help with things!
If Mama doesn’t do her chores, what will we eat!? THERE IS NO FOOD! ONLY BUNCHES OF INGREDIENTS TO MAKE FOOD! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10
We’re pretty strict about doing chores around here. We make it plain what’s to be done and we expect it to be done. So, let me give you the low down on how it works here just in case you’re interested…and if you’re not, that’s cool. I won’t hate on you for it.
Annie has daily chores. She must complete them before she gets to eat. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t get to eat. WHOA.
How many of you guys have your eyes bugging out? Well, let me tell ya – she’s only missed a meal a few times. She learned her lesson quickly. If she’s still in the middle of her list because she lollygagged and didn’t get it done before the meal started, she may finish and then come to the table
…but if she doesn’t finish before we’re done, too bad. And let me tell you, THAT only happened once.
We’re not terrible parents, but there must be a consequence for making a dumb decision (can someone please tell Congress?). That’s something every person must learn.
What happens if you don’t go to work? Wouldn’t it be better for your kids to learn this when they are young instead of when they’re 30?
Okay – so let me tell you something else you might find surprising. Annie thrives with this method. She knows what she has to do – and it’s better than my nagging her all day long in an attempt to remind her what to do. She’s in charge of her list – and that gives her some feeling of empowerment. She gets to make her own choices. And when her list is done, she gets to play. She LOVES that.
Obedience is doing something all the way, right away, with a right heart attitude.
Before Annie was able to read, she used a Melissa and Doug Chore Chart. It worked well, but now her chore list also allows her to practice reading skills. As you can see below, Annie is hardly suffering with her list. 😉
If we have a bad attitude, that’s okay. Let’s be honest – kids are going to have a bad attitude sometimes. Even I have a bad attitude sometimes…okay, a lot.
When a bad attitude is in play, said person removes themselves to their room to get things under control. Then they may return and continue the list.
If there is whining or complaining, you get EXTRA chores. Yeah – I said it.
Barry made our list, and I asked him to create a handy dandy printable for you guys too. It’s blank so you can use it no matter the age…even for yourself!
Click here to download your Free Chore Printable
Thank Goodness for a site that’s finally showing what a loving Mother really is! It’s so aggravating to read most every site selling the idea of petting and coddling our children to the point of worthlessness. Good parents teach morals and accountability. I’m literally overjoyed to see another Mom committed to raising a family that’s capable of contributing. It’s much harder to set requirements, We actually take respondsibility for the kind of people our children are! Thank you thank you thank you and God Bless the families striving to be servants rather than entitleists!
Thanks for the kind words, Lindsay 🙂
Julie, HH Team
Our kids are 14 and 17. If chores aren’t done they don’t eat. We have taken it one step further. If we call you for dinner and you are too busy then too bad. You might starve or there may not be dinner. Of course if they are doing homework or helping with a project this does not apply.
I have never been too busy to eat! LOL
This is one of those “why didn’t I think of that?!” moments. I have 3 boys (granted, one of them is a baby), and they’re ALWAYS hungry! It might be harsh, but I think hunger will be a good motivator for my older two to make sure that they do all of their morning chores!
Well, it’s not really harsh…it’s Biblical. 😉
I see this leading to an eating disorder or food stealing. I agree on chores, but not tying them to food.
We can agree on chores then. 🙂
But the reality is that if you don’t work in life, there is no food because you’re not earning money. It doesn’t look her kids have a problem with this method. I am sure they realize their mom will always be there to provide meals. That’s a completely different situation than a parent that is never around and you don’t even know if they’ll be there to make your food. That my friend is where the actual problem is.
Hey Barry,
Stacy says see if you can help me out. For some reason my PC will not let me
download he printable for the chore chart. Can you help me or maybe send it in a
different form.
Thank You Erica Mikel
Hey Erica, I just emailed you the PDF. Sorry the download didn’t work for you. Not sure why, but hopefully that will take care of it! 🙂
When my kids were too little to read, I drew their chore list. They loved it! Wasn’t nearly as much fun when they had to switch over to a written chore list 🙂
We used the Melissa and Doug chart which works the same way – pictures. 🙂
I started using this method when you posted on this a while ago. It’s been great! What motivation to get toys picked up! Thank you! And I agree with getting chores started early. I have mine carry laundry to their rooms (think one shirt) and recycle paper almost as soon as they can walk!
Way to go, Dana!
Love it, Stacy! My kids had chore lists (and now my grandkids have them); sure helps to keep a household running smoother in addition to teaching diligence, work ethic, etc. I like the way yours corresponds to meals–what a great way to relate chores to 2 Th 3:10.
Food is a good motivator. LOL
I have a kindergartener and a preschooler. Tips for specific chores that are reasonable expectations? Specifics? How much time should it take? Because I’m waiting for the day they can clean the bathrooms…seriously.
I like this chart here – I have it posted in our hall closet. http://www.flandersfamily.info/web/age-appropriate-chores-for-children/
Foster mom with a kindergartner and a preschooler here. My preschooler “helps” with things like running the vacuum or sweeping up, and I make both responsible for putting folded clothes away. I expect the kids to brush teeth and pick up toys before bed. Kindergartener has to lay out clothes for the next day every night and is sometimes asked to set the table. They participate in outside chores now and then after school or on weekends, usually stuff like picking up kindling, riding along on the mower or helping to wash a car. At this stage, we’re still introducing the concept of work ethic; it might be different with children raised from birth.
Sounds like you’re doing an awesome job, Kate! Outside chores are SO good for kids.
— Julie, HH Team
Fantastic!! I grew up on a farm, and let me tell you, chores got done, period!! Mom and Daddy operated that if the work did not get done, then neither did much of anything else. They were not raising work-brittle kids, and neither am I. My kids can clean a house and manage a yard as well as I can, and they will both help out and work for other people too. Their friends also know that they are subject to being put to work too if I need help; they get treated like my own. And forget about arguing or complaining about it because you are going to do it…either before or after the battle, but you are going to do it. And, you can consider yourself lucky if I don’t add some spice to the extra work you will get (such as trimming the yard with a pair of scissors instead of a weed-eater).
…but you are going to do it. LOL I laughed out loud for realz.
My kids are all grown and on their own now and this was something I did way back when. There were chores they were responsible for i.e. cleaning their own rooms and chores they got to choose. The ones they chose beyond what they had to do they had a price list and after completing the chore, they wrote out a IOU for me to sign…after checking that the chore was completed I signed it and on payday they turned in their IOUs and collected their pay too. It worked so well that often they argued over chores when they wanted extra money! It was the best brainstorm I ever had!
I like this idea, different times I have told my kids you don’t clean something you don’t eat. When I tell them this they start to whine or they say if I don’t eat “I will throw up” what can I do to stop that? I walk away when they whine but it doesn’t stop. How can I get them to stop whining?
You might try something like telling them for every whine or complaint or muttering the chore list would increase by 1 job, or, like Stacy says – they go to their room until the attitude clears and then they get to work and end up finally eating mid way through the family meal. And then follow through.!!! They will get it eventually but right now they know they whining is getting to you and the possibility of getting off could be real. Be consistent and don’t nag or cajole or react to their whining. Lay down your rule, (be age appropriately) clear with your expectations and walk away. Do not engage. I repeat, do not engage. 🙂
Old school training. Good for you! !!!
Most excellent!!! I never thought to have the jobs divided up by meals. I’ll have to do this!
Love it….! We have a big family with children aging from 16 to 1 and they all (well except the one year old) have chores around the house. If we didn’t all work together, I’d be a miserable, worn out, mom and wife. Thanks for helping me not feel bad for making my kids do chores!
Hey, I do what I can. 😉
We have always had all of our 6 children responsible for certain chores each day. These chores grow with them. I agree with everything you said. Lazy child, lazy adult. No one has the right to sit around and expect to be taken care of when they are adults. They must be responsible for themselves and this does not just kick in when they turn 18. If you do not give your children the opportunity to “work”, they also do not have the opportunity to get that good feeling when they have completed their chores and know they have done their part. We have chores – expected tasks just because you live here, and then we have jobs – these pay money according to the task. This gives the opportunity to start learning money management. We also let our children know we expect them to tithe out of this pay. We do not watch to see them give it, but we let them see us tithe and let them know it is expected of them to do the same. The Lord is good and we should be obedient.
We like the Dave Ramsey method of “commission” instead of “allowance.” Don’t work? Don’t get paid. Pretty simple. LOL 🙂
I LOVE that you’re teaching tithe at an early age. Go, mama!
I think that’s awesome, but what types of things do you consider jobs and not chores? I have 1 five year old and I can’t think of what a job would be for him!
A 5 yr old can do plenty of jobs: dump all the baskets around the house into one large bag. set the table, match socks, fold wash cloths, gather laundry for washing, if you have a shoe area where everyone takes off their shoes…he can tidy that area….I could go on an on…
Great post Stacy! I have 3 boys, 8&5 yr old twins. I work 24 hrs a week, we homeschool and are very active in our church. Life is busy. All my boys can quote the scripture that if a man does not work he shouldn’t eat. Chores are important here to keep life from spinning out of control. From a while we used a daily sheet, but that got to be wasteful and once in a while (gasp) we ran out of new ones and they thought they had a free day! I converted our daily chart to a grid with 5 weeks of check boxes. Each task has words and a cutie clip art pic related to the task. All three are mounted together on the fridge. Everything is a race with boys, and when one guy is way behind he works hard not to be the “rotten egg”! You are SO right about kids thriving in a setting where they know what’s expected.
Btw- my twins use Reading Eggs and love it! Have you tried Math Seeds by the same group?
I appreciate your heart for Jesus and enjoy your honesty and candidness. God bless you and your family!
I think Math Seeds was free with my subscription? But we haven’t looked at it yet. She’s slowly learning math – she’s struggled with it so far, but she’s advancing. 🙂
My friend Helen said I should put it into a page protector so I could use the same sheet over and over again…but Annie likes to draw on it, and I use scrap paper from Barry’s work…so I feel like I’m still being frugal. But your check system sounds great. I just love checking stuff off – I’m so weird. Ha!
This is awesome Stacy! Thank you!
🙂 No problemo.
What a novel idea!! Thanks for sharing. LOVE it!
Well thanks for reading it! 🙂