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You are here: Home / Family / Edify Your Spouse

by Stacy  6 Comments

Edify Your Spouse

edify your spouse

Note: Today’s post on how to love and edify your spouse was originally a part of my Watch Your Mouth Family Challenge.

If I am following someone on social media who starts to tear their spouse down, says they are angry, talks about when their spouse does something dumb or that they don’t like, I will unfollow them immediately. This happens way more often than it should!! I don’t have time for that negativity…and you shouldn’t either.

If you feed your spouse negativity and venom and you call them out in public…they are not going to respond with kindness and love.

Let me also clarify that I’m not saying this like Barry (my husband) is my child. I would never mean to imply that you treat your spouse like a child. It’s not a quid pro quo – if I’m nice to him, he’ll do something nice to me. I am saying that if (and when!) Barry does something that ticks me off,  I will NEVER get on social media and talk about it OR talk about it to friends. We’re married and live in the same house – conflict is going to happen. But if I get on social media and talk about him, is he going to be the best husband the next day? Or if I chew him out in front of friends, family, etc., is he going to want to be all, “I’m so thankful for Stacy and how she chews me out.” NO!

You need to work out your differences in private and edify your spouse when people are watching.

What does it even mean to edify them? You have to treat them with respect, honor them, and lift them up. You choose to share their strengths, their skills, and the things they do well or help with. You can even recommend them articles like that prostate massager guide in order to put the spark back into your relationship. Intentionally BUILD them up in front of your family and friends. Let’s say your husband doesn’t always remember to replace the empty toilet paper roll. You could get on social media and bash him for not remembering to do it. Or you could get on social media and say, I love how my husband does the dirty job of taking out the trash! Build them up – edify your spouse, instead of tearing them down! I promise, it not only makes them feel good – it makes YOU feel good.

Edifying our spouse makes them feel more loved.

This doesn’t mean you should be fake or say things that aren’t true. You don’t want to make your social media seem like your life is perfect and everything goes without a hitch. My marriage with Barry is not perfect. I think I had a tiff with Barry already this morning. But I choose to focus on the positive things. You don’t have to have a perfect relationship or a perfect life to edify and encourage your spouse. It makes me feel so special when Barry brags on me in front of others. I want my husband to feel that good about himself too – because I think he’s pretty awesome.

You should also always edify your spouse in front of your children.

I never say don’t fight in front of your children. If you have a huge disagreement you should definitely take it somewhere else! But a lot of times, we get in a small tiff in front of the kids and we work through it while they are present. If it’s an issue that is more adult in nature, we definitely will leave the room and work it out. Your kids are watching! And they WILL base their life behaviors on what they see at home. If they see you belittling each other – that will make a lasting impression in their minds. But if they see you and your spouse work together in love, enjoying family devotions together,  showing affection and tenderness for each other, they will learn from that too!

Change your attitude!

Start focusing on your spouse’s positive traits, like the ways they love you and treat you with kindness, the ways they provide for your family, etc. I promise this will make those negatives and pet peeves slowly start to bother you less and less. Build them up in public – over and over again. When you get agitated – which is going to happen! – try to edify your spouse and see if it changes your perspective. I bet you’ll be surprised.

edify your spouse

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About Stacy

Stacy is a Homemaking and Business Mom Mentor, the author of two cookbooks, creator of multiple e-courses, seasoned life coach, and comedian extraordinaire. Her first priority is her husband and her children - family first. She presses on each day because her calling is to teach, train, and mentor other ladies to have their dreams. She believes if it’s not easy, you won’t do it – because she’s lived it. She’ll bring YOU the awesome so that you can get your home back into control and watch your business soar. For tips and easy strategies, you can follow her on Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the content above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase an item, I may receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Comment Policy: I love reading your thoughts and input on what you read here. I'm sure we'll disagree sometimes and that's okay! In those cases, do what's right for you and yours. As with any form of communication, only post comments that move the discussion in a positive direction.

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Comments

  1. Tracey says

    November 20, 2018 at 4:29 pm

    Stacy, I do not always comment on your blogs, but I applaud you for this one! There are so many times that I may get frustrated with my husband, but we have agreed that it is not a conversation to air in public. While I don’t comment often, I greatly appreciate the glimpses into your everyday life. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
    • Julie Chittock says

      December 4, 2018 at 9:52 am

      I love this Tracey! It’s hard to see some couples out there who don’t respect one another. Stacy sets a great example for us for sure. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!
      Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team

      Reply
  2. Amylee says

    November 19, 2018 at 8:02 pm

    This is the exact advice we got 18 years ago at our Pre-Cana marriage class. “Edify each other!” And sometimes if one of us is teasing the other, the teased will call out “Edify me!” and we start laughing. I think you are absolutely right about modeling this for our children. And I think it’s probably much easier to do if it was modeled to you as a child. It’s a gift for each member of the family, not just the husband and wife. As well as others in your community.

    Reply
    • Julie Chittock says

      December 21, 2018 at 8:36 am

      I love that – thanks for sharing, Amylee. Laughter is so good for marriage, isn’t it?!
      Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team

      Reply
  3. Christine Stillings says

    November 19, 2018 at 4:24 pm

    Hey Stacy thank you for this post today – very timely as I struggle with something that is true but saying anything would cause tremendous pain. Please share with our sisters (and brothers!) tho… identity theft and financial scams can happen to even the most aware & tech savvy consumers, and that the “bad guys” (and girls) are masters of manipulation and rapport-building, and can talk you into doing the most ridiculous things, even when you KNOW that you know better. We’ve learned from experience this weekend & now proceed sadder but wiser and with more Christ-centered priorities.
    Blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving! Christine.

    Reply
    • Julie Chittock says

      December 4, 2018 at 9:56 am

      Thanks Christine! Will definitely remember your advice.
      Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team

      Reply


Hello! I’m Stacy!

I believe God created you to be the hero of your home. You CAN manage your home instead of it managing you. That’s why I empower women with simple solutions for their homemaking needs – because if it’s not easy, you won’t do it. {Read More…}

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