I’ve gotten asked before, Stacy, “How do you approach church involvement and extracurricular activities?” My take on this might be different than yours – but that’s okay! We can have different opinions and still be friends.
Before we had kids, Barry and I were very active in church.
We were at our church multiple days a week – I was volunteering and headed up one of the kitchens. I was very, very involved and so was Barry – because we had tons of time. But after kids, even thought we still wanted to be involved, it became much more difficult. Kids needing naps – trying to tote things around and contribute with our hands full most of the time – it was harder than we expected it to be!
We live about 30 minutes away from our church.
With Barry’s work schedule, we just can’t make it consistently to any mid-week Wednesday night service. Barry does serve one night a month at jail ministry. And Sundays after church, we spend the day with either Barry’s parents’ or my parents’ homes for family time. I was helping to coordinate meals, but it became such a point of stress for me! Trying to coordinate that from 30 minutes way got too hard. But if I am ever asked to bring a meal I will always do that!
Right now, we go to Sunday services and that is about it.
Don’t feel guilty or allow someone else to make you feel guilty if you can’t be as involved as you might want to be or as you used to be.
As far as extracurricular activities go…we don’t have any!
Ever since I had my first child… I made the decision that I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to fall into the trap that I have to do and do and go and go. I’ve finally learned that it’s okay for me to not do much. I know that a lot of people feel that they have to do so many of this or that – to be involved in church, gymnastics, dance, soccer, etc. Our family is content and happy spending time just being together in our home. I don’t have to go places all the time.
I do everything I can to not mess with nap time.
That part of their day is sacred, y’all! I used to feel guilty about it, but I don’t anymore! I’ve been told that as my children get older this will change and we’ll start being more involved and active. That may be true – but we’re not there yet so I can’t speak to that. But I can promise that but if/when that next stage in life comes, we will adapt.
This stage with young children is just a short blip in the big scheme of things. And I know it will pass more quickly than I realize! How do kids even grow so quickly?!? I feel like I blinked and I’ve got a 9 year old! Enjoy the slower pace of life that comes with having young children.
Don’t feel guilty – life is too short for all that.
Enjoy the time you are in with kids and don’t dwell on what you aren’t accomplishing our doing in the church or community. Your time spent in your home is time well spent! There will always be time for those things as your children grow. And like I’ve written about before… just because it’s hard doesn’t mean I’m going to quit. For more on this check out post about how Church is hard, Go anyway!
I’m curious… how involved are in church and extracurricular activities?
Thank you!!
Praise and blessings to all of you young moms choosing family over the world! You have said it all very well, Stacy, and your followers below. Your kids will only be little for so long. You need to take advantage of this time to feed and build their little souls. That is your job, not someone else’s. God gave them to you and your husband. As they grow, you will know when the time is right for outside activities. It may be different even for some of them over others. Our olders became active in a few things even while I kept the youngers at home. Then the youngers got their turns. Don’t spread yourselves or your kids too thin. Keep God and family first. Love and prayers from one who has been there, and still gleans the blessings.
Thank you for the encouragement!
I personally have been struggling with this! No amount of prayer has ever made me feel like God is telling me to do more outside of my home or feel guilty about not being more involved, yet I still feel guilty when other moms are able to get more involved or I have to say no to something that will absolutely overstretch my family’s schedule. Thanks for this!
You do you, mama. That’s all we can do. <3
Yes! Exactly the same. THIS is my ministry, the children set before me by God himself. Seasons change and we can be flexible. Excellent post!
I think the biggest lesson I have learned from my kids is flexibility. lol
Amen! I am always warning people about being so busy when kids are little. They do NOT need to be in soccer, swimming, theater, dance when they are tiny. It’s exhausting for kids AND parents and few people achieve a healthy balance. As for church, there are seasons for involvement and seasons for sitting back. I was hardly involved at all for many years. When a great need appeared that I knew I could fill, timing was providential. My kids were at a place where they could manage without me being right beside them. Sometimes it’s clear when you need to step up or back. I’m so bookmarking this to share with others!!!
Step up or back! GREAT POINT!!!!
Dear Stacy,
I know! It’s good to focus on being home and keeping a nap schedule. Also, the children are not isolated and alone, they have each other and as you said they have extended family time on Sundays. The intergenerational relationships will be a blessing in many ways. Our family stayed home until Amy and Rachel started piano lessons at 9 and 11. (We did have a sweet neighbor family that homeschooled and had children the same ages in the early years.) Amy is nearly 13 years older than Annie, so Annie did end up being that baby napping in her carseat!!
May the Lord bless you and the family! John really appreciates Barry being with him at the jail!
Love,
Sally
Thank you for the encouragement, Miss Sally. <3