Dear Stacy… How in the world do you get so much done?
I get asked this ALL the time. And I promise you I do NOT do it all. Which means this is something I need to talk to y’all more about! If you think I’m going to tell you how I do it all, you’re reading the wrong blog. Today, I’m sharing how to chose what to bomb.
Don’t worry, we’re not destroying anything… in case you’re wondering about that.
But the idea of how to chose what to bomb comes from this awesome little book by Jon Acuff called Finish. If you haven’t read anything by him, you need to hop on the train! I honestly haven’t read anything of his that isn’t amazing.
I’ve heard him speak and I’ve taken several of his classes. And his first book, Stuff Christians Like, is so funny that you will probably pee in your pants. So if you’re looking for a good pee-in-the-pants laugh…you’ll definitely want to check it out.
But anyway, Finish is actually a follow-up to his book, Start. Jon says most people don’t have a problem starting things. It’s relatively easy to set a goal or try something new, but the problem comes because people don’t actually follow through. This book teaches about what you need to do after you determine your goals and priorities to ensure you can reach them and finish what you start. It’s an awesome read. One thing that he says that’s been a total game-changer and mind-shifter for me…
You have to choose what to bomb.
What does he mean when he says you have to choose what to bomb? Simply put, you cannot do it all! Jon tells a story about the thing he’s chosen to bomb – which just happens to be yard work. He says initially it was a hard thing to admit because it made him feel less manly. But he decided to let it go and hire someone to take care of it. He chose to give it up because other things in his life were more important.
I’m a type A, get-it-done person. I don’t like to ask for help. I want to do it all.
And if I don’t get it all done, I immediately feel like a failure. I’ve had to do a lot of mind shift changes in the last 6 months. It’s only been recently that I’ve learned to ask for help. It’s only been recently that I’ve learned that it’s okay if (and when!) I don’t get everything done that I’d like to accomplish in a day.
I’m a list-maker and I hate when I don’t finish everything that’s on my list. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay if I don’t get my list finished and I don’t get around to everything I wanted to. And we often think others are getting more done than we are.
We have the tendency to look at our friends, neighbors, etc. and compare ourselves to what we see. Whether it’s friends who have their home all completed decorated for fall by September 1st or people who get up every morning at 4:30 am to workout and have muscles on muscles.
Imagine if I always tried to heap everything on my plate I saw everyone else doing!
I’d have to craft and have the perfect yard, and my curtains inside coordinate with the decorations outside. I’d have a van will all the sports stickers driving to all the activities. I’d be making five-course meals from scratch every night with a spotless floor after my children are schooled. And of course, I’d look perfect with my six-pack abs because I’d get up at 4:30 every morning to work out while doing my devotions and solving world hunger. If I tried to do all that, I’d be dead!
What did I choose to bomb?
I don’t do picture-taking, sewing, scrapbooking, or crafts. I shop on Etsy. I buy from the people who do the crafts. I am not going to craft. I could learn to craft if I wanted to, but I don’t want to.
I asked for help on Humorous Homemaking. When things were super busy, I hired someone help to get Humorous Homemaking tasks done each day. I chose to bomb some parts of my Humorous Homemaking stuff so I could focus on new material and content for y’all.
I use to be a stickler for a clean house. But I have had to chose to bomb having a spotless house with no dust and no dirt on the floor. Now, there is dirt and dust and toys. Instead of stressing out about this, I chose to bomb having a perfectly clean house all the time. It’s not as important as other things to us right now.
We bomb extracurricular activities. I have a van, but I am the opposite of a van mom. We don’t do sports or dance or tumbling or homeschool co-ops. We just don’t do it. It doesn’t mean it’s bad! We just don’t have the time or the desire right now to be hopping back and forth between those types of activities. We just can’t make the time for it.
Time to choose what to bomb!
What can you let go of? Maybe you need to let go of yard or house work. Maybe you need to ask your mom for help. Or find someone to watch your kids every once in awhile? Or hire a house cleaner? Or give up your scrapbook or crafting time for awhile.
I’ve tried to be that person who does it all.
And you know what? It’s lonely living there because nobody likes you! You don’t like yourself! Nobody wants to be around you because you’re a maniac! You don’t have to do it all! I wish I had learned earlier that it was okay to pick things in my life to bomb and not worry about it. I wish I had known that I could choose to bomb and not feel guilty about.
We’re happy where we are! We’ve finally been able to let go of things and say, you know what? That’s not important! If you’re running around and always feel tired and if you’re overwhelmed and just keep heaping more and more on your plate, you are going to break eventually – no one is meant to carry that much weight! No one can live that way for long.
What can you let go of?
Nobody else can choose for you – it’s your life. You decide what you can give up. Then you can more fully pour in to the things that ARE important to you and your family. When you are stretched so thin that you are a maniac, then nothing is getting the good side of you. Bombing is showing yourself grace!
Megan says
This is an amazing concept. Now I need to look at my life and decide what I can give myself permission to bomb.
Julie Chittock says
Isn’t it?! It will change your life 🙂 Thanks for commenting, Megan!
Julie, HH Team
Tammy Loro says
EXCELLENT advice!! I look forward to the book. Type A personality here too…while my son was growing up I was told (for YEARS) that “(fiil in the blank) will always be there later”…or tomorrow or whenever, BUT I wouldn’t listen. Now (like MANY others with grown kids) I have regrets and wish I’d listened! I love social media and the blogs/vlogs of moms/women supporting each other!! I now also pay somebody to do the yard and other things I need help with. You can’t do it all people!!!! Well you CAN but then you are a tired, unhappy, momma/wife/person…..who will have regrets later!! Take it from me, NO BUENO! ?
Julie Chittock says
AMEN! If only we could stop believing the lie that we have to do it all! Thanks for the comment 🙂 And you will definitely love the book!
Julie, HH Team