Woe is me! I’m a terrible homemaker and even worse cook! I can’t really bake anything that turns out. All my friends are in their home making their Pinterestworthy recipes with edible glitter and carved melons in the shape of Stonehenge and every time I try to bake muffins they burn on the bottom!
Ugh! I am so sick of cleaning this toilet. I clean it and then 20 minutes later, there is a splotch of poop that didn’t flush down and dribbled pee on the outside of the bowl. DO THESE PEOPLE THINK I AM A TOILET CLEANER?!
Look at all that I sacrifice for these people and they never ONCE said ‘thank you’ today. Not once. I worked my tail off until my butt was even sweating and this it the thanks I get?!
It’s super easy to have a bad attitude. I would even wager it’s easier to have a bad attitude than a good one. Want to know how I know? For YEARS I have struggled with having a bad attitude. I’m recovering…but still, I find the Attitude Monster comes knocking at my door. He was here yesterday, eating my muffins and chocolate in the closet.
It’s not easy to have a good attitude. You might not WANT to have a good attitude. But having a bad one consistently is making you a terrible homemaker – and honestly, no one really wants to be around you. Ouch.
You might have clean toilets, but when your attitude is stinky, you’d be much better off with ring-around-the-toilet.
The best things in life aren’t easy. They take work. Love – it takes work. Raising kids – it takes work. Marriage – it takes work. Pie – it takes work. You have to decide that THINGS THAT TAKE WORK ARE WORTH IT.
So, you don’t WANT to have a good attitude? I don’t care. I always sing, “you can’t always get what you want” to my kids – so much so that they can now sing it back to me when I’m throwing a 34 year old fit – and yes, I do still throw those.
You might not want it – but it’s the right thing to do.
It’s the right thing to do to have a good attitude. Get rid of that terrible homemaker with her bad attitude. It’s the right thing to do to love on your kids even when you’d rather hide in the closet with the Attitude Monster, and it’s the right thing to do to serve your husband out of love for him.
It’s the right thing to do. Choose that.
YOUR attitude sets the tone for your home. You cannot control how your husband or your children act – but you can control YOU.
Choose to do the hard thing with happiness. Choose to do the right thing. YOU.
When I’m in a good humor, I find that everyone else follows suit. But, if I’m nasty, guess who follows in my footsteps? Bingo.
God has given you everything you need to be a good homemaker – not a terrible homemake. Don’t ruin it with your nasty attitude.
Liz Pace says
So true and so difficult to remember sometimes! Thanks for this, just what I needed to read before starting my weekend chore-athon 🙂
Stacy says
I hope your chore-a-thon went well!!!
Michelle Davidson says
AHHHH!!!!! Stacy, I needed this one today. I was complaining to my sister about how inadequate I feel as a homemaker because we live in a 1980’s home that still has popcorn ceilings and ugly textured walls and is only 1200 square ft (with soon to be 6 people in it!)
In my new coop, I was able to visit other peoples (less than 5 year old) homes and coming home to mine felt so blah.
We have practically no money to make things pretty and rearranging the same mis-matched furniture isn’t really working.
BUT I realized yesterday that it is not what our home looks like that makes it home, it is how if feels and a cranky mama is not making home feel inviting, regardless of the crayon on the wall and PB on the couch.
Then I came here to find some cheap grain free recipes and read this- Amen!
Stacy says
Ha ha! Funny what you find when you’re not looking. 🙂 Hope you found a good recipe and I’m glad you found this helpful!
Joy says
Bad attitude is something that I struggle with big-time, and I know that because the Holy Spirit convicts me of it a LOT. However, I have had to learn the hard way that no matter how much I want to, I just can’t “will” myself to have a good attitude – anymore than I can will myself to love other people that are less than “lovable “. I can only do it through God’s power. I have to go to Him in prayer and turn the whole ugly thing over to Him and ask for His help. ..and it works!!! He really does change my bad attitude if I am willing to surrender it to Him. So…He gets the glory, not me! ☺
Stacy says
Daily time in the Word before everyone gets up is essential – but even if we do that and we don’t DECIDE to choose happiness, we can still be in a wonky mood. 🙂 I need all kinds of Jesus to fill me up every day. Shewee!
Mary C says
I had a page a day calendar from the farmers almanac that i enjoyed reading the little daily jokes or advice on. One day (my sons birthday actually) the little page said “Do not pursue happiness; CREATE IT!”
I tore that page off and stuck it on my refrigerator above the water dispenser. Now I cannot help but read it several times a day. I won’t say that it profoundly changed my life, or that it makes me remember to be happy every day ( sometimes i smirk at the little paper and walk away almost determined to still be cranky) but on most days, it gives me pause and helps me reconsider my attitude at the moment. Stopping frequently throughout the day to simply take a breath and choose happiness has had an impact on my overall satisfaction with my life and current situation.
Stacy says
Ohmygosh! I LOVE THAT!!!!!
Sarah Eddins says
This is a good one! Great reminder that set the tone for our home. 🙂
Stacy says
Absolutely we do !
Mary Alice Kenley says
Love this! I will tell you that it’s a lot easier to major in preciousness when the kids have grown up and moved off!!!
Stacy says
I think I’ll keep mine here forever, thanks. LOL
Abigail says
This is just the message I needed today! Thank you so much for the painful truth…now let me go hug my 5 year old!
Abigail says
Forgot to post my wordpress website.
Stacy says
I know that feeling – I randomly hug my kids after reading stuff too. Ha ha!
Ana (@ANAWINSblog) says
I think we forget that we can choose our attitude. We think that our hormones are in control but we can get control over them despite what time of the month it is or how little sleep we got last night, etc.. I want my kids to remember a joy-filled home not a contentious, moms never happy home. I need to start singing that song! Ha!
Stacy says
Yup – guilty as charged for blaming it on hormones.
Molly says
Really, REALLY great article, Stacy. Four years ago my husband was forced to switch jobs, and in the stress of the transition I finally figured out something. I realized that the people who I truly appreciated and who influenced my life the most were the ones who were just happy. My husband is a good man. He didn’t deserve a wife who hung all her baggage on him and made him lug it around. I decided I wanted to be a happy person instead of an angry one, whatever it took. So I quit complaining, dropped the endless expectations, let go of all the ridiculous stuff I was constantly upset about, and started counting my blessings and thanking God for them. I was 50 years old! It’s terrible that it took me that long to finally get it, but what a difference that decision has made. Now my husband looks forward to coming home and my teenage boys are calmer and more able to tackle their own challenges. EVERYBODY is happier. I am resolved to never go back to my old ways.
Stacy says
Well, praise the Lord, Molly! How wonderful! WOOHOO!
Deanna says
Just read this and I think I need to print it out and put it on my fridge!
Cathy says
Girl…you’re killing me!!! You’re kicking my booty…and I NEED it! Thank You!
Stacy says
I’m good for a kick in the pants.
Mamabunny says
Sometimes we just need to hear these things to realize the most common sense stuff.. I am aware and now and will keep this in mind. Thanks for the reminder..
Stacy says
I think “common sense stuff” is what we need to make sure we keep hearing over and over. Because while it’s common – we forget. At least, I do!
Mel says
I used to sing “You can’t always get what you want” to my kids too! 🙂 Although they’re grown, I still struggle with the Attitude Monster ?
Stacy says
And now, I’m singing it again. LOL
LD says
Had to lol as I saw your title just after telling my husband I was sorry for being such a grump grump! Feeling chained & overwhelmed while everyone else gets to do what they want when they want. I had a Nasty pity party right in front of God, my hubby & my dog. Only God knew the details. I’m used to being the positive one. OH MY!!!!!
THANK YOU FOR THE RIGHT THOUGHTS!
Stacy says
Hey – we all have those pity parties. The important thing is that we don’t stay there! 🙂
Katie says
Poop splotches! They’re the worst! Thanks for the funny pick-me-up!
Stacy says
What are those about anyway?!
Kathryn says
Spot on, Lady.
Stacy says
Yes – spot on laundry. Easy to fix – just like my attitude. 😉
Theresa Little says
I tell my kids, “This isn’t Burger King. You can’t always have it your way.” LOL
Thanks for the reminder.
Stacy says
Ha ha! My dad used to tell me that!
Devon says
I sing that song to my kids too! My older two (3 & 5) sing it to the 20 month old when she throws a fit over something….. guess it’s catching on!
Thanks for your encouragement… I needed it today (as I feel completely overwhelmed and am procrastinating by being on the computer… trying not to cry!)
Stacy says
Don’t cry! Do the next thing – that’s it. Just one thing.
Nichole says
Oh my! The splotch of poop gets me every time! You made me chuckle. Thank you for the reminder that everything worth while takes WORK. I might not always hear a “thank you” for everything I do for my family. But at the end of the day I feel it through the little hugs and kisses. That makes it all worth it!
Stacy says
Well, I’m super glad the poop splotch isn’t just here. LOL
Linda says
Did I tell you I loved you today?
Stacy says
You have now. 🙂
Tiffanie says
Needed this today!
Stacy says
I do too – think I’ll read it again.
Audra Taylor says
“If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” is more than a jazz song lyric, it’s the truth. We set the tone for our home.
Stacy says
Wait. THAT’S A SONG?! I just thought it was a witty quote!
Audra says
It’s a real song, remade just a few years ago to a kid’s song!
Carley says
Ahhhhh!!! Were you at my house today?!? Such a good reminder! The Lord knew I needed to read this tonight!
Stacy says
Nope, I wasn’t there. But if I was, we’d be having us some coffee and chocolate.
Carley says
Ahhhhh!!! Were you at my house today?!? Such a good reminder! The Lord knew I needed to read this tonight!
Seeking Sojourner says
Amen sister! Thanks for the reminder. I’ve known this to be true, but I come from an insanely dysfunctional background and God has given me extra particular challenges with my own family (I’m sure to accelerate me and make up for lost time) and sometimes it’s just easier to wallow in self pity that this is harder for me than the average woman. Boo to that! God only gives us what we can handle and we never know how much we can handle until we overcome something we didn’t think we could.
Thank you so much for the encouragement. When I first discovered your article about the laundry monster I laughed so hard that I cried and your encouraging words made me cry too. You are awesome and I enjoy when I read your emails (oops, did i just confess to ignoring them? Yes, but not deleting, just saving for later)
Bless you. Thanks for being you
Ashleigh
Stacy says
Ha ha! #busted But not busted too bad…because I hardly read any blogs. LOL
Cynthia says
Working 40 plus hours a week to come home to my most important job as mom…I totally had the attitude monster right next to me. This makes perfect sense. It’s up to me and the household follows..2 year old, 4 year old and 37 year old* boys (admittedly the 37 year old is my other half). Thanks for this.
Stacy says
Thank you for reading. 🙂 Have a great day, Cynthia!
Wendy says
Good timing on this one! It does seem that when my mood is sour, my husband’s is as well…choose joy! ?
Stacy says
Same here.
Michelle says
Totally needed this right now. My attitude toward my role as a wife and mom has stunk lately! Thanks for the reminder that my attitude sets the tone for everyone else’s!
Stacy says
Admitting it is the first step. Oh wait…I think that might just be for AA. lol <3
Sarah D. says
Thanks for reminding me to choose to be happy! I was wondering yesterday why I’m such a crummy homemaker… 😉 Thank you!
Stacy says
It’s an easy fix!!!!
Julie says
Stacy – yes! I really really appreciated this post. I’ve been thinking and reading a lot about joy & contentment – your advice was some of the simplest and best.
Stacy says
If it ain’t simple, we won’t do it.
Luci says
I had such a terrible attitude last night and everyone (myself included) felt crummy! Thxu for the reminder!!!!
Stacy says
It’s amazing to me how quickly my family follows my lousy attitude.
Lisa Suit says
Very well said!! I tell my kids all of the time that they can choose to be happy and then forget it myself!
Stacy says
#guiltyheretoo
Samantha Browning says
I love everything about this, well said! A good attitude can really be a hard choice to make but at the end of the day it’s our choice.
Stacy says
Yes! This!
Becky says
Did my husband call you last night and complain about me? Lol! I have had a stinky attitude lately from feeling very overwhelmed with all that I have on my plate. I feel like you wrote this just for me! You are right. Truth hurts but you offer great words of wisdom!
Stacy says
I assure you he didn’t call me, because #whycallwhenyoucantext lol
Terri Monteverdi says
This is so great – needed this today! My oldest recently started college but I’m still homeschooling the other 5 and there are days that I questions that decision! Thanks for the reminder!!! Will be sharing this!!!
Stacy says
You had one to fly the nest! They survived and even got socialized! WAHOO! 🙂