First off, let’s talk about what this post is NOT, before I get all sorts of nasty emails.
- This post is not why American Girl dolls are bad, ugly, too expensive, or the downfall of society.
- This post is NOT about why parents shouldn’t buy expensive things for their children.
- This post is not about why I hate shrimp, or why I keep procreating children who like to play in the toilet when I forget to close the lid.
About a year ago, Annie saw a family member with her American Girl doll. And she decided that she wanted one too.
So, Barry and I were cool with that – but we knew the expense of the dolls and the difficulty at finding them used for a good price (because the instant one is posted, people jump on that sucker like white on rice…it’s like Black Friday or something).
We told Annie it was fine for her to have a doll, but we would not be buying the doll for her.
She would have to save up her own money and buy it. And surprisingly, instead of crying and carrying on like I almost expected, she threw me for a loop, as usual…kids are good for that. She was EXCITED! Do you know why?
Because we didn’t say “No.” We said “Yes, but you have to buy it.”
Honestly, I expected her to forget and move on to something else, but she didn’t. She saved for almost a year until she had enough money. She worked extra chores, saved her gift money, and worked some for the neighbors raking leaves to earn money.
I was BLOWN AWAY.
So, when her doll arrived I have never seen her so excited over anything since…well, ever. It’s been with her everywhere so far…including the bathroom and outside to play. She’s taken great pride in the first thing she saved and purchased herself.
**Photo above from Instagram**
There are several reasons why we didn’t make this purchase for our 6 year old. It’s not because we’re cheap. It’s not because we didn’t have the money. It’s not because we’re trying to make her suffer.
Five reasons we didn’t buy our child an American Girl doll:
- We wanted her to learn the value of a dollar. If you make $100 from work, it’s so rewarding for someone to hand that to you. If you win $100, that’s great too…but it just doesn’t feel the same as working for it. It’s a satisfaction that’s good to learn at an early age.
- We wanted her to value the item. If someone buys something for you, sometimes you don’t value it as much as if you purchase it yourself. It comes from your blood, sweat, and tears. We figured that Annie would better take care of something she purchased herself than “oh well, they’ll just give me another one.” She knows how long it took her to get this doll – so she won’t be playing with it willy nilly.
- We wanted to see if she REALLY wanted it. It’s never a wise decision to decide on a huge purchase and then immediately buy it. It’s always good to at least sleep on the matter…a night, or a couple. Or sometimes even a year. “Do I REALLY want this thing that will cost me a lot of my time, energy, and money?” For Annie, she proved that the answer was yes. A lot of times this keeps ME from making crazy dumb purchases.
- We don’t want to teach her a sense of entitlement. It’s kind of easy to teach children at an early age that they deserve things or they can get whatever they ask for. Sometimes, this can bleed over into adulthood and result in massive quantities of debt. “But I wanted that super expensive new [insert random expensive item here]!!!” You don’t get something just because you ask for it. Or just because you deserve it. Thanks be unto God, we don’t get what we deserve. Amen?
- We wanted to teach her to….wait. Dude, waiting is hard. So hard. I hate waiting. But being able to wait is one of the best qualities we can acquire. We live in a microwave society. I want it, and I want it NOW. But that’s not how life really works…and we would rather our children learn this at a young age than to be surprised later on.
Does this post mean you shouldn’t buy your child an American Girl Doll? A DS? A home in Fort Lauderdale? No. But, it might give you pause about making big purchases for them. It might help you realize that you can teach them important things even at age 6. It might help you get really mad at me and unsubscribe (but I hope not).
It’s good to give good things to our children…but one of those good things is also knowledge. 🙂
Do you think it’s wise to wait for big purchases?
I think that this is the way parenting should be done! You taught your daughter the value of something special and expensive! American Girl Dolls have great stories behind them but are also very expensive. She will treasure it forever and she know knows how to work and save for something she wants! Those lessons are taken into adulthood! Well done as a mom!
YES! She’s 11 now and still treasures that doll. <3
My parents couldn’t afford luxuries like dolls or allowances. When I turned 16 I got a summer job, saved my money, and bought myself and my kid sister AG dolls. You’re right, earning the money to buy those dolls made it extra special. ?
I just love that, Heather! And such a special memory to share with your sister. Thanks for sharing!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
My parents did this for me too! I am 35 now and ordered her (Kirsten) from the original catalogues back when the dolls actually went with the stories. I just gave my 6 year old daughter this same doll and it has been a real joy. In our house she has chores and gets an allowance and knows how to save for the things she wants already. So, I told her how it was mine and I bought her with the money I saved for a year and she has cared for it just as I did as she knows what it is like to save and work hard for something already. Now she’s is saving for more modern clothes. Hopefully one day your daughter can do the same!
We had our daughter do extra chores for pay to earn the money for her American Girl doll. A lesson well learned 🙂
I agree! It’s such a good lesson to learn at a young age. Thanks for the comment 🙂
— Julie, HH Team
Hum, that reminded me of…the cabbage patch kids!! My mom makes me buy mine, and I loved it so much, I was so proud of my purchase. There were 40$ back then, a lot of money in the 80s….
It’s so funny to me when kids have brand loyalty like this.
My daughter loves the American Girl catalog, and wants everything in it, of course. For her last (9th) birthday, my best friend bought her an Our Generation 18″ doll from Target for under $40. Daughter calls it her “American Girl” doll and loves it just the same as if it were a super expensive AG doll.
We enjoy getting the Target outfits – they’re super cute!
My daughter had been wanting an American Girl doll for about 3 years straight. Every Christmas and Birthday our answer was no, and it wasn’t to be mean, it was purely because she hadn’t done anything that we thought deserved a reward. I didn’t see the sense in buying a £140 doll when you can find dolls 12 times cheaper. Even when we showed her some cheaper, pretty dolls alike, she still refused and said she’d rather just save up her own money for one, so I told her, if you work hard in school, and achieve the highest grades, then you I will buy you one. During study-time for her summer examinations, she would spend hours, weekends, holidays, revising for her exams. By the end of the year, she had the highest grades in her form, for mathematics, all sciences, and history. I finally gave in and bought her one, and a year later, she still takes good care of her doll, dresses her up, brings her to the park etc.
That was a super good reward! 🙂 What a good lesson to teach her!
This totally made me tear up! I always wanted an American Girl doll but we just couldn’t afford it, so I’ve always thought when I have a daughter is get one for her but you’ve got me thinking. I definitely don’t believe in just buying things kids don’t need for no other reason than them wanting it. I think this is a great lesson you taught your daughter and something she will never forget! My main reason for even liking AGD is because you can make them look like the child. I know that can be creepy for some but for me it was very hard to find a brunette doll with brown eye growing up, they were all blonde! I’m a nanny and one of my charges recently got an AGD, she’s Asian, so you know how hard it is to find an Asian doll? Harder then finding a black one! I think it’s great that the little girl who is mixed can have a doll with red curly hair, brown eyes and tan skin! I just wish they were cheaper but alas.
I think the message here is that a child will appreciate something more if it is not handed to her/him. Especially if it is a big $ item. If they have to work to contribute to their item they will have an awareness of the $ value more than someone who just has their every wish met. The AGD was just the subject of many that can be handled this way. When I started working and would buy something I would think how many hours of work the item cost me! Really made me aware of the $ value!
Yes, exactly. It’s not really about the doll or brand…it’s about the lesson. 🙂 Thanks, Mary!
You are welcome! I calls em as I sees em! Kids need to learn the value of money we don’t need kids to become adults and suffer from “affluenza”!
Crystal, have you looked at the knock off AGDs at Target? They are called Our Generation.
I have, I’ve seen the ones at Michaels too(might be the same brand) they’re not very ethnically diverse though(at least the ones I’ve seen) but other then that I think they’re worth it especially if you don’t know if your kid will take care of it.
We also didn’t buy our daughter an AG doll (or the Canadian version here in Canada). She got money for her birthday from her aunts/uncles that was enough to buy one, but we showed her that with a coupon she could buy a Michael’s knock-off version for much less money and some material to make clothes with. She opted to buy 2 discounted knock-off dolls and we made clothes, including shoes out of duct-tape and craft foam! She now knows to check Michael’s with coupons before buying anything, and is it something we really need to buy, or can we make it ourselves or repurpose something we already own?
How cool that you guys made the clothes!!! I would love to learn to sew.
That is fabulous that you did that. I do the same. No entitlement. Nice job
I think the way that you had had her save her money is a wonderful thing. My husband and I the same way. It’s a way of learning to value of a dollar and appreciate what they have.
Thanks, Raeann!
People in Denmark could learn a lot from this article. Here parents work their buds of to be able to give their kids the stuff they want. Most of them are trying to calm their gulty feeling for leaving the kids alone too long, and the result is lonely kids with too many electric babysitters 🙁
Well, hello Denmark! 🙂 Super cool! 🙂
Thank you for a balanced and reasonable take on an issue that can be so volatile among parents. It’s nice to read an article and agree with all of it!! I don’t feel like I have to agree with everything in an article to get something from it that can help me improve myself, but it sure is nice to sometimes stumble on something and be able to think, “yes….yep….annnd…yes!” Lol!! ? Thank you for a fun and helpful read, and good for you, Annie, for working hard for something you really wanted! You’ll never forget that feeling of accomplishment or the lesson you learned! ?
Well, it’s always nice to find someone of a like mind! 🙂
Hah! Brilliant. I loooooved the American Girl doll franchise when I was a little girl and was scared to read this article for fear it would bash the whole lot of them. But what a pleasant surprise! I wish every parent would do this. If you read the books the American Girl characters are all pretty thrifty and industrious so it makes perfect sense to have your kids model after them and save up themselves for such a precious treat. Bravo!
Loooooooved the books when I was little!
Another reason, Chucky.
Stacy I must say I love your humored way of life. I couldn’t agree more on teaching kids the value of the $. Thank you for this post and congratulations on the arrival of your sweet Ruthie. I saw your announcement on Periscope the other dAY.
Thank you, Milka!!!
Thank you for your testimonial and explanation. The world needs more mothers like you! I do not have children yet, however, I will definitely take this principle to heart. Thank you!
I absolutely agree 100% with all of this! AND can say with a testimony that this is true…here’s why… THIS is what we did with our 9 year old (who is now 29) and I’m so glad we did. She DID learn and grow in all the ways you hope for your daughter. Thanks for sharing this! You rock and are a great mom!!
I refuse to believe that my children will eventually be 29. LOL
I commend you on having your child save her money. We did that with our children and now they do that with their children. It has helped our children and grandchildren understand all of the things which you pointed out. All of them are responsible individuals, which is a blessing in today’s world.
It’s so nice to hear from people on the other side!! Thanks for the encouragement, Marian. 🙂
My parents made me buy my own American Girl dolls as well. I first saw them when I was 7 (almost 8), and they are recommended for ages 9 and up, so my mom figured by the time I turned my $9 into $84 (the base price at the time – she said she would pay shipping) I would probably be 9. But what she didn’t take into account was that she also pushed us to participate in every kind of contest our town had to offer, so a few months later I won $75 in a pumpkin carving contest, giving me the exact amount I needed to buy Kirsten.
I did end up saving my money for about a year in order to buy my Samantha doll. We didn’t get extra money for doing extra chores; we just got a certain amount per month plus some at Christmas and birthdays, and I just didn’t spend it.
I loved my American Girl dolls – I still do – and I was proud of the fact that I had purchased them myself. I think the experience of saving for Samantha made me more of a saver with my money, which comes in handy now that I am on my own because we’ve had some tight financial times.
All that said, I think the historical American Girl dolls are a fascinating and effective way to get children interested in history. I learned so much about my own culture and ancestry from Kirsten, and a lot of what I know about American history I learned from the books about the dolls that were around when I was a child – Felicity, Josefina, Kirsten, Addy, Samantha, and Molly. I was part of the short-lived American Girls Club and Historical Society. I got involved in genealogy research because the American Girl magazine used to include paper dolls of real girls who had traced their family trees back several generations.
I don’t know if American Girl still has that emphasis on history and education. It seems like most of the focus now is on the Girl of the Year or the dolls you get to look like you. And there’s certainly value in that, but I’m really glad to have grown up before that became such a big deal.
Well done! We did the same thing when our nine year old asked for an iPod. She worked all spring and summer and made enough to buy her iPod with money to spare. She is now saving towards her own paddle board. Plus she put $10 in her Halloween UNICEF box, it’s never too early to teach charitable giving.
My parents did the same thing with me when I was about eight years old. 🙂 I still have the doll (packed away and waiting for a little girl of my own). Haha, I had buyer’s remorse about a week after I got my doll in the mail, but I worked through it and had plenty of adventures with May (as I christened her) regardless. So all that to say–it’s an awesome idea to have kids work for big purchases, in my opinion. And I haven’t even needed a session with a therapist/psychologist as a result (yet). 😉 Keep on keepin’ on, Stacy!
No therapy!? Something must have gone totally wrong!!! 😉
I totally agree with you. My kids buy their stuff thru money earned for chores. They not only find appreciation for their stuff they bought but because they have a goal, they put in more work than usual and see for them selves what they are capable from.
Teaching your child the value of money is all well and good. I’m sure this instance of saving has taught her that, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, you are worried about teaching her a sense of entitlement and that is concerning. She should expect a certain level of care. If you teach her she doesn’t deserve that and she can’t expect it from you, her parent, then she may grow up with the idea that her needs are less important than others. This can lead to being taken advantage of and constantly being a doormat for others. Be cautious in how harshly you apply that edict.
This is what jumps out at me from your comment: she may grow up with the idea that her needs are less important than others. The fact is, a toy of any sort is not a need. It’s a want. All of our children are very well cared for and receive a lot of their “wants.” But we also want to teach them that wants are not a necessity. The most important thing is love – and in that, our children are, hopefully, very well taken care of. 🙂
My oldest daughter has 3 AG dolls. She bought two for herself and even watched for the deal on them that comes out every year with the Today show. The 3rd one was one that really wanted, but it’s an historical doll that doesn’t usually come out as a deal. She’d been saving for it for a while and her grandmother decided to buy it for her. After watching her save to buy the first two, she felt it was a good reward for being a good steward. She’s doing extra chores now to buy her younger sister her first one. <3
That is AWESOME! 🙂
Wonderful parenting. I bet she was very careful with the doll. Great lesson
I love this!! When our son was 8, he wanted a dirt bike and we told him the same thing. I have never seen a kid so dedicated to earning something. He actually started a lawn mowing business and with the help of my husband taking him to jobs earned enough money by July to purchase a dirt bike and gear. He is now 11 and continues to work to earn gas money and when he wants new gear. It has been amazing lesson for all of us.
Thanks for this post! My husband and I also made our daughter work for her American Girl doll. She worked hard for a whole summer doing chores around the house and managed to save enough money in 3 months! People always look at us like we’re crazy for making her do that, but I think it’s a great life lesson for her to learn. And, maybe she’ll also learn to appreciate what she has so much more as we continue to encourage good work and money habits. Kudos to you! So glad we’re not alone in this! 🙂
Nope – good company! 🙂
We did something similar with our eldest who REALLY wanted one. So she first saved for an American Girl Doll Mini. I think this is such a valuable lesson in understanding what the value of a dollar is for kids. Great job!!
I’ve seen those – they are super cute! This is one from their Truly Me line where you’re supposed to pick one that looks similar to you. Good job to you, mama!
The’Kirsten’American doll was the first big item that I saved up for when I was around 5 or 6. (Back when there were only 3 American girl dolls-mid-80s). The pride I felt was huge! And the doll is packed away in her box in storage.
Great post!
Child of the 80s! Represent! YEAH!
I disagree. The family is really cheap if it took the girl a whole year to earn $100! What did she work for? $.50 cents an hour? How is she supposed to learn the value of a buck at those wages?
Ha ha! This really made me giggle. 🙂 No, she didn’t make $.50 an hour. Annie has chores that she is assigned to do as part of a member of this family. If she chose to work extra, she might earn $2 for sweeping the sidewalk and driveway after Barry mowed. She would have to ask directly for extra work – so it wasn’t offered to her and it had to be her idea. She would get $10 here and there for gifts. But, no….we aren’t cheap. Also, she did save some and give some. Part of learning. 🙂
Stacy, I admire you for handling your situation in this manner. *HIGH FIVES!* In addition, I am impressed to say that I would like to sew an outfit for her doll. Would that be okay? You have my email. Let me know.
Long-time reader,
Marly
That would be very sweet, but not necessary. She would be tickled pink. 🙂 You can email me using the contact tab on the blog. Thank you.
We did the same thing. Our DD is 8 and we learned a new AG store would be opening the following year so she saved her B-day and allowances and report card bonus’ for a year to be able to go buy Grace during grand opening week. She takes her everywhere! She’s also learning to sew her clothes.
I have heard the store is something else.
Well done! We have done/do the same thing with our boys and I cou agree more that it is a valuable lesson in life
Yes, it is. No matter the age!
When I was growing up, if I wanted anything beyond the essentials, I had to save for half the cost myself, and then my mother would match my savings. This included any extra-curricular activities, formal dresses for dances, etc. etc. My mother also had a policy that half of any cash gift received for special occasions had to be put into long-term savings (and the half that was ours to do with as we pleased could only be spent AFTER thank-you notes were sent!). There were quite a few things that I wanted initially, but often that desire became disinterest over time. My mother’s policies became more and more relaxed over the years with my subsequent siblings, to the point that she would actually buy my baby sister designer purses for no reason or occasion at all, just because my sister liked them! I admit, I did not appreciate my mother’s rigidity when I was young…but of the four siblings, I am definitely the most financially responsible in adulthood. Really enjoyed your post.
Ohmygosh!! I love her caveat of having to send thank you notes! CLASSIC! 🙂
Hannah got one because we dont do Christmas big. Really, we cant. We have shut down and it hurts every year and so our girls dont get a “big Christmas” unlike so many other kids. And they know this too. We also have had to explain to them why Santa brings some kids $1000 worth of presents and they get a LOT less. (thanks to those parents who let Santa bring the big ticket items **insert eye roll**)
What we do is a little different. Since they know that we are not going to go bat poop crazy on gifts because we cant, we have a special moment each tax return time where each person gets something special. Hannah had begged for over a year….
Our kids also don’t get paid for doing chores… You’re in this family, you help out, that’s all that’s said. They know what is expected and that they have to be a part of this family and all its chaos… hence, why that American girl doll is in perfect condition. They know that things like that are super special…
We have a similar policy – if you don’t work, you don’t eat. 🙂 Annie was able to work chores above her normal chores to earn some extra here and there. It sounds like you’re doing a great job, mama!
I love this!!!! Although I did buy my daughters their American Girl Dolls (actually Santa did), I made them buy their own iPads. It took them awhile but at age 7 and 11 they were each able to buy themselves and IPad mini, a case, and a $20 iTunes card for any apps/songs they wanted. I feel that they take much better care of them and are more responsible with them because they are completely theirs.
Right! The idea isn’t just about American Girl dolls. It can be applied to any item. 🙂
We went through this exact same thing with our six year-old daughter. For us, the American Doll catalog showed up before we even got back from Christmas vacation and that’s all my three daughters could talk about. So, we told them to earn/save the money. Our four year-old lost interest quickly, but our six year-old worked and saved and kept close track of every last penny until she had enough money. BUT, before she could decide on which doll to order, she found a different toy in another catalog that she wanted. We told her to think about it for a week before we ordered anything, and (no surprise) she moved on to something else. She still hasn’t decided how to spend her money–perhaps since it is her own hard earned/saved money she is putting more thought into the best purchase.
When you save for that long, sometimes it can be hard to spend it. 🙂
I think this is a great idea. Kids are given so much stuff that they feel like they are entitled to it but they don’t respect it because they don’t understand the value of things. The lessons you taught your girl will stick with her and hopefully help her become smart financially.
We are praying the same thing. 🙂
Great post! (meandered over here from Money Saving Mom…)
We did the exact same thing for my son’s Xbox. We had stalled on getting a gaming system for years for various reasons. He’s 11 now and after many discussions with my husband we decided to present him with the option of getting one if he paid for half of it. He was delighted for the opportunity! He takes much better care of it than I believe he would have if we had sprung for the whole thing.
Never too early to teach some valuable lessons.
I’m continually surprised by how early my kids are able to learn very important concepts. 🙂
This was so good! And timely our daughter is always wanting something. And#3!
Are you referring to that we wanted to see if she really wanted it? Or that for some strange reason, our kids like to play in the toilet? LOL
Don’t know why kids find the toilet so fascinating. Maybe the water or the flushing part and watching the water and what ever they put in it swirl around and vanish. I had cats that I had to watch like a hawk. It became a family rule to keep the lid closed. Even had a sign in the guest bathroom to keep the lid down. I would find them with their back feet on the seat and up to their little shoulders in the water. They lived to watch it flush too! Kids and cats, go figure!
Yup – all my kids are fascinated with the toilet. And toilet paper. And using as much toilet paper as possible. lol
I think everything you did is awesome. I did buy my child her first American Girl Doll but the 2 others she has she purchased herself. She also had to save, do extra chores and wait for her first iPad. She was very excited to get her first iPad mini and even had it engraved to remind her how hard and long she saved. Children nowadays do seem to have a sense of entitlement and we need to make sure our kids do value the dollar now more than ever.
What did she engrave it with?
We did the same thing with our daughter, first when she was 5 and then again at 7. She had lemonade stands, kept birthday money and sold old toys at a garage sale/on ebay. We are also trying to teach her not to be entitled and the value of money. We even did a goal chart when she was 5 and colored in as she saved more and more. It really helped her see how much she needed to buy that doll. 🙂
Annie is intrigued by lemonade stands…but we live on a dead end street, so that won’t work. LOL
We did the same thing. Our daughter age 8 pays for her own AG dolls. When people ask about them I tell her she paid for them herself. She now has four.
Wow! That’s discipline!
I love this idea. Our girls had to pay for half their dollhouse. I bought one set of furniture, and they will have to buy the rest of it.
Thanks, Will! 🙂 It tickles me when you comment.
Our daughter bought her own also. She is now 26 years old. Yes, we still have the doll. She has a paid off car that she got at age 19 and at age 24 bought a house. I am so proud how hard she works for what she sets her mind to.
WAY TO GO!!!! High five!
We told our daughter we would only buy her a doll if she read the entire series, and then only for her birthday. (when they only made the historical dolls that had a book series) She hated to read and the price of the doll was worth it to get her to read. So, in a sense, she earned her doll. She loved it and we passed it down to our other daughter and now my grand daughter gets to play with it. I enjoyed making clothes for her too.
Well, that was a good compromise! 🙂 I hope she learned to really love reading.
I like the concept. What is weird to me is how these young children have all these opportunities to earn money. As a single mother living in a large city I can’t imagine where my son would have the opportunity to sell brownies, rake leaves, etc. Perhaps this is a good idea for middle class families but I am not sure poor folks can make this work in the same fashion.
Having only lived in the country, I don’t have any experience with city living. But this is how we were able to make the situation work for us. It might take some tweaking in the city, but I believe the concept is still the same. I think it’s possible to teach the idea of earning things, no matter where you live. Good luck, mama! 🙂
I did this with my daughter. It either worked too well or backfired depending on your perspective- she is currently saving for her 4th American girl doll. The good news is that she actually plays with all of them, and she is quite the entrepreneur at almost-8 years old. The problem is that she has gotten so good at earning money (the kid is such a little entrepreneur, I’m pretty sure she can find a way to monetize anything) that i sometimes worry she sees money as an endless resource, she doesn’t value it just because she can always earn more.
Well, I’m not sure if it is a good or bad thing either! My first thought is that maybe your daughter’s entrepreneurial spirit should be fostered and channeled into longer-term things but she is still pretty small to consider car, college, etc. I wonder if you have gone through the idea Dave Ramsey recommends of teaching your kids to save some, give some, spend some? This is something we’re just getting into with Annie and so I can’t really tell you how well it is working yet. 🙂
We have done this with our kids also. Our youngest daughter got her first real paying babysitting job last spring. A former neighbor had a hysterectomy and needed help after school so my daughter would ride the bus over for a few hours each day and babysit, clean, fix dinner, etc. She basically did an au pair/nanny position for them this summer and bought herself a DS3 and games, a Nook, all her school clothes and most of the supplies and saved $500 towards a laptop (and more snack junk than she should have ;D) She learned the value of a dollar. The gig is over for good (long story but we’re all okay with that). I work part time for a dog salon as receptionist and she is going to pick up a few hours towards the holidays by bathing/drying dogs. She knows the value now and is very proud of herself. The growth and maturity that she has displayed this summer has made us very proud.
Wow! How awesome! Way to go, daughter! 🙂 Someone told me yesterday: A lot of people miss opportunity because it comes dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work. LOL 🙂
My daughter has saved for FOUR AG dolls! LOL I didn’t think she’d do it the first time, but then after that, whenever a new one came out that she really wanted, I just told her the same thing–you’ll need to save the money! The hardest one for her was Sage, because she wanted the deal where you get some outfits with the doll, and you save something like $35 I think. That took most of the year, and because I didn’t want to see her disappointed if it got to be too late and they didn’t have the doll anymore, I even suggested that summer that maybe she should just get the doll…but, she persevered and in the end, got it after nine months of saving.
We did buy her one–because she has really red hair, and until last year, there was never a doll that had really red hair. My husband and I were in New York and saw it in the AG shop, and we wanted to surprise her with it! And to those posters who are lamenting over their already “entitled” children and maybe being too late–remember, it’s in most kids’ natures to be self-centered, so try not to look too far into the future and become overly worried. And I don’t think it’s ever too late as long as they are still under our care….when they see their parents changing their ways, they can learn that even when we sometimes make poor choices, once we realize it, we can start to make good choices. It’s all a part of life!
Yes!!! I love your encouraging second paragraph! It’s not too late – there is always time to learn. And yes, we ALL have a self-centered attitude sometimes. It’s a constant learning thing. 🙂
We do the same around here. My 7 year old wanted a Wii U game system. He saved all of the $300 himself!! So proud of him 🙂
This makes me feel so old bc I don’t even know what that is. LOL
We have always required our children to work and earn for things like this. We provide necessities, they work for wants. My 9 year old just purchased an ipod which he has been working and saving for for a year. He LOVES it, much more I think than he would have if I had just bought it for him. He also figured out that he could buy a gently used one for a much better price and chose to do that. These are great lessons for life!
Yeah!!! We love buying used! What a great lesson! 🙂
We did this exact same thing when our oldest daughter was about 9 (25 years ago)! She wanted Samantha and we said she could earn the money and get one. She did. 🙂 She made and sold brownies and cookies and I don’t even remember everything and it didn’t take long and she was the proud owner of her doll. She still has that doll all these years later. 🙂
That’s a great story!!! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for this post. I pray that many will read this and follow your lead. I can agree wholeheartedly with this idea because we are on the other side and seeing entitlement in our children (10 & 6) My husband and I both came from “poor-ish” backgrounds and so when our oldest came into the world and we were blessed financially, we spoiled her. I didn’t even see it at the time. We are a upper-middle class family, rich by no means… but richly blessed. We try hard to follow the Dave Ramsey principles, yet never thought anything of large birthday parties, MANY Christmas gifts (and Easter, and valentines, and Halloween, and…..) It didn’t hit me until a few years ago when a toy was broken and my daughter just looked at me without blinking and said: “well, we can just buy a new one”. No question, just a statement. I have found myself getting more and more angry over their lack of care for any of their things ( or ours for that matter!) and I see now where it all started. Is it too late? I pray not. May the Father forgive my blindness….
No, it’s most certainly not too late! 🙂 Just start praying for God to give you the opportunity to teach them, starting now. You can do this, mama!
Excellent reasons! My girls haven’t wanted an AG doll that badly yet, but I have a niece whose parents did this exact same thing with. It’s a value issue. We value what we work for. …Which is why I want any of my kids with higher education leanings to pay their own way (for the most part).
I see the same thing in myself. Something I work long and hard for is so much more treasured.
You may already know about this website, but at libertyjanepatterns.com you can download free patterns for sewing clothes for the American Doll. I did this once and made a cute dress which I gave to a friend’s daughter for her 6th birthday.
Thanks for the link! Now, I have to learn to sew. 🙂
When I was little both me and my sister had American girls dolls and my favorite part about them was making clothes. My mom had an old treadle sewing machine and a set of patterns that she let us use to make our dolls their own clothes. I would work the treadle and my sister would feed the fabric, my mom knew we couldn’t get it going fast enough to hurt ourselves or the machine, and it provided us with hours of entertainment with just the cost of thread (the fabric we used was old clothes). A great experience and I am killer fast with a stitch ripper.
That is a GREAT memory! 🙂
Check out “MyFroggyStuff” on youtube. She is crazy talented and shows you easy ways to make clothes, accessories, and stuff for AG dolls. Some of her projects require sewing skills, but she always has options to make it easier. Plus, she uses stuff you can find around the house. Her tutorials offer a bonus recycling lesson because kids see that an old stained shirt can be turned into a doll hat. Or, an empty oatmeal container can be turned into a chair!
Good for you! Excellent decision on your part!
Thanks for the comment, Denise. 🙂
BTW – I know! Been There – Got the Suit! Santa Mike
Well, I’ve heard “got the t-shirt,” but never “the suit!” LOL
Stacy-Thank You for the Blog! Too many parents use Santa as the Big Gift guy! If the Child does not get the gift-it is Santa’s Fault!
Sometimes it’s really easy to lay the blame at someone else’s feet instead of taking responsibility. I do it myself sometimes. Being is parent is hard…it’s all a learning journey! 🙂
I also had an American Girl doll when I wad young and my parents did the same thing. I saved my money and bought her myself. The only disappointing thing was that I didn’t get to answer the door when the UPS guy brought her. Now she’s at my parents’ house for when the nieces come over. In case you’re wondering, I got the Addy doll.
Annie’s doll is from the Truly Me line, so she was able to name her (Julia). Annie watched all day for the FedEx man, but I was the one who saw him. LOL She didn’t care once she opened the box. 🙂
Excellent, Stacy. I see that sense of “entitlement” creeping in with my kids, and this is a fantastic solution.
Thank you, Claire.
Not only wise but when she is grown she will know how to wait as opposed to whipping out the credit card. My children are all grown now and my granddaughter is 24 so its been long ago but when my children were your daughters age if they complained about waiting my mothers response was always “there is no instant”. LOL of course today that is not precisely true but those grown men still remember that and just last week when I visited one of them in Colorado he was saving for a racing engine for his motorcycle (yikes!) when I expressed concern over him buying my airline ticket when he was wanting the engine he said not to worry he would have enough soon and quoted his grandmother “there is no instant”.
My Mamaw always said “wish in one hand and poop in the other, and see which one gets full quicker.” LOL 🙂
Priceless!
Great job you two!! If more people parented this way we wouldn’t have the epidemic of 20-30 year olds living in mom/grandma’s house rent free and “unable” to find a job. I’m proud of Annie for her hard work and determination.
I was just listening to a podcast from Matt Walsh about the epidemic of young adults still living at home. I had no idea it was such a problem.
Totally agree with you on this and it brought up a memory. I was 6 and wanted a small, portable organ. My folks said I had to work for it so I did extra chores and anything else I could to help make money. I was really diligent and enjoyed watching my money grow. Unfortunately, I had a favorite aunt who started feeling sorry for me at how slowly my fund was growing. She decided I ‘needed’ that organ sooner rather than later and bought it for me. Of course I was thrilled and spent many enjoyable hours playing it (probably driving my mom crazy). But only a year ago (and many, many years beyond the age of 6) I realized that that lesson affected the rest of my life. Somehow my
little 6 year old brain decided that if I only worked ‘some’ at reaching a goal, I would end up getting what I wanted/deserved without having to pay the full price of time/money/sweat, etc. I’m now climbing out of a hole of cyclical debt that I believe was a result of that experience and I’m trying to teach my children the lesson of “earn it before you get it”. So much less stress that way!
I’m so glad you were able to learn from that lesson! Kill that debt, girl! 🙂 Let us know if we can help!!
Great job, mom and dad! In the LTD catalog this week ( http://www.ltdcommodities.com/Toys—Electronics/Dolls—Accessories/18–Girl-Dolls-And-Outfits//prod1030571.jmp?fm=search&categoryId= ) there are some really cute CHEAP outfits and costumes you can buy for them. I hope you are reading all the American Girl books with her. I read them all with my daughter when she was at that age and we both learned a lot about history. Visit one of the AG stores, too, if you can- lots of fun!
We haven’t read them yet – we only have one, Samantha. I need to see if the library has the whole set.
What a great idea. My daughter has been asking for one and I too have debated if we should splurge because I was afraid we’d buy it and it would become just another doll that ended up thrown in the corner. Now I have an answer when she asks again (-:
She will surprise you with her determination! Daughters are good for that. 🙂
We did the same thing with our oldest daughter – she’s now 14 and eventually saved up enough money to buy herself two American Girls dolls, which she took excellent care of and plans to save for her own daughter (Lord willing) one day. With our younger daughter, we worked out a plan where she would earn and save up half the money for a doll by a certain date (Nov/Dec) and we would match that amount as our Christmas gift to her. That worked well for our family, too.
Glad you are teaching your daughter some valuable life lessons through this purchase!
That was a good idea for a Christmas gift!
How wonderful!
Yolanda, you are so encouraging. I really, REALLY appreciate you.
I think that’s awesome! I wish I had thought of that. My daughter does buy herself little things she wants, like Shopkins! but I don’t usually have her buy the “big” things. I think for me, the problem starts with myself! There are some things I really wanted as a child that I never got and was so disappointed. I still feel it! I didn’t want my daughter to experience the same thing. Mostly because it created a resentment that I didn’t want my daughter to have towards me. The year after I bought my daughter an AG doll (for Hanukkah), the doll of the year was so cool, I really wanted to buy it for her but couldn’t. I felt soooo bad, I cried. I felt like I was letting her down (how warped is that?!) I wish I had thought of suggesting she buy it herself if she really wanted it. I wish I had thought of that myself as a child. Thankfully, it’s not too late, she’s only 11. There are lots more “big” things waiting for her (like a car!)
Yes! She still has plenty of time!!! A car is a big purchase and a very good learning experience.
Excellent! You’ve had some great posts but this one might be my favorite 🙂
🙂 Well, that means a lot. Thank you, Angela.