The longer I’m a mom, the more I realize that strangers say dumb things…especially about your baby. When a woman has a baby, suddenly she becomes public property – along with her child. Everyone has an opinion…and they will voice it. When you’re newly postpartum, anything a stranger says will make you weep – or make you fly off the handle…one of those. It’s sleep deprivation, don’t ya know. And it’s also that “Mommy Protection Syndrome.” It’s strong, man. The claws come OUT. You best not mess with a new mama – bear or human.
So, let’s take a look today at the top 10 dumb things strangers say about babies…because don’t you know that everyone is a baby expert?
“Awwww! He’s so cute!”
DUDE! Do you need eyeglasses? Are you blind? I’ve put my daughter in a PINK DRESS! I’m not sure about you, but I’ve never met a father yet who was cool with putting his SON in a pink dress. Maybe I just run in the wrong circles. Open your eyes, man! PINK = girls! I dressed her in pink to avoid this issue. *Sigh*
“Is he a good baby?”
I have never understood this question. It’s loaded. What on earth does it mean anyway? Is he a GOOD baby? Huh? Have you ever heard a mama say, “Why, no. He’s a terrible baby. I was thinking about taking him back and asking for a refund.”
My mom says it means, “Does he cry?” Of course he cries! He’s a BABY! I think what you really wanted to know is, “Does your baby cry more than mine?” If that’s what you mean, ask it.
“Does he sleep through the night?”
I hate this more than any other question. No. My 3 week old (now 8 weeks) does NOT sleep through the night. I’m 31 years old and I don’t even sleep through the night. Do you? I can’t even get my 3 year old to sleep through the night.
Please don’t ask a sleep-deprived mama if her baby is sleeping through the night…it’s really not common for that to happen and it will just make her cry. Trust me, if he’s sleeping through the night she’ll let you know. Can I get a witness?!
“I guess it takes a while to lose that baby weight, huh?”
Oh no. You did NOT go there, did you? I just carried a child for 9-10 months. So what if I ate a little extra doughnut here and there. Is that any of your business? I think not. So back off! And hand me a doughnut.
“Awww, you’re so pretty! You must look like your daddy because you sure don’t look like your mama.”
Uhhhhh. Lady, I could be wrong, but I think you just called me ugly. Really. My child is pretty and she doesn’t look like me. What am I, chopped liver? Or could it be that you’re hitting on my husband WHILE I’M STANDING HERE. Hand me another doughnut.
“Can I hold him?”
Excuse me…who ARE you? I don’t even know you – never seen you before. You are a random stranger from the grocery store parking lot. I do not know if you have a communicable disease or if you’ve been in prison. Come one step closer to my baby and I’m going to drop-kick you. You could be a baby kidnapper for all I know!
“Was he planned?”
I could be wrong, but this is a very personal question. I don’t know you and I seriously doubt I should be discussing my bedroom activity with you. Were YOU planned? Did your mama love YOU?
God plans all our babies. Booya.
“Just wait till they’re older. It will get harder.”
Wow. Gee. Thanks for that GREAT pep talk. You should be a paid motivational speaker. Loser.
“You shouldn’t breastfeed every time he cries. You’ll spoil him.”
Okay, how about this. The next time YOU’RE hungry I’m going to withhold a snack from you. See how you like it. You’ll cry too. If you take my doughnut away, I’d cry too. I just want a snack for Pete’s sake…can’t the baby have a snack too? And I really seriously doubt you can spoil a child by trying to help them stop crying. I’m a mama…I don’t want my baby to cry. If he wants to eat, I’m going to feed him. But not you, you can forget it, pal.
“Did you vaccinate?”
Really, there is NO way to win with your answer for this one. If you DID vaccinate, you’ll be told about how terrible you are and that your kids will end up with all sorts of problems and won’t get married and will live with you forever – failure to launch. If you DID NOT vaccinate, you’ll be give a written list of all the communicable diseases your child will have before age five.
Instead, the best “answer” for this one is to pretend like you don’t speak English.
So, what’s the best thing to say to a new Mama about her baby? Pat her on the back, smile, and say “You done good mama…you done good.” And then bring her a doughnut. Amen.
We have 5 children living, with two miscarriages in heaven. When we had our first 2, we were at a family Thanksgiving and my aunt just kept on about when we were going to have more. I was actually pregnant, but hadn’t been to the doctor yet so we were waiting to tell everyone. Finally, I had enough! I looked at my husband who was in agreement and I said, “How about right now?” Her mouth dropped open, and you could have heard a pin drop! She has never asked about our family size again!
Ha, ha!!!
Lol! I just had a stranger ask me, “You have enough there?”
Since I didn’t feel like discussing long-term family plans with a stranger and don’t know if we’ll be blessed with more, I cheerfully answered, “I don’t know.”
“Oh, **I** know!” he responded, “Four is definitely enough. Two is plenty. Four they outnumber you.” Glancing at my van he added, “At least you picked the right vehicle.”
Um, yeah. Public property.
LOL People!
I love it when strangers are like, well, since they’re such a handful now, they’ll probably be great teenagers. Which is basically based on no research or cited work ever published. Seriously, we’ll all be lucky if we make it till they’re teenagers. Don’t try to console me with empty promises. Plus, I’ve got my hands full of love….I don’t need you to say anything.
When someone says “Boy! Your hands are full!” I like to say “Yes, but my heart is fuller.” 🙂
Beautiful, 🙂
Hugs and shout out a praise for common sense!!! I was full term when my male boss asked me if I really wanted to “do this” – have a baby????? I responded I thought you were pro life. Duh
Oh dear.
This is great! I just had my 6th baby…..I get a ton of comments. Older ladies come up and talk about their large families with wistful looks and it makes me happy ?.
People ask me if we are going to be the Duggars (no we are the Millers) and if we are going to have our own tv show. “Eye roll”.
Thanks for this fun article and congrats on your newest addition.
I’ve already had the Duggar comment – yeah…I have three at this point. LOL Bizarre.
You are my hero! There are so many stupid people out there!! Its even better when people tell me that they are sorry for me, referring to my daughter with Down Syndrome. Epic.
My daughter was adopted from Korea at 5 months old. I had an adult ask me “when she starts to talk will it be Korean or English?” WOW! I was left speechless.
LOL LOL
Your list is too funny. As I am expecting my sixth, we no longer get comments, just wide eyed stares while mouthing the numbers as they count, “1, 2, 3,…” Makes us giggle every time. Six children doesn’t seem like a huge family to me, but living in leftist Minnesota you don’t see many families with more than three children.
When my oldest was in for his 4 month well baby check, our doc’s regular nurse was off so we had a “sub”. He was wearing a navy blue fleece outfit, blue socks and blue onesie (How I remember this after 13 years?!). The nurse kept referring to him as “she” until I took the diaper off to weigh him and she said,”Oh…it’s a boy.” Right now there is nothing feminine about him…tall, broad shouldered football player/wrestler. He must have been a “pretty” baby, though.
LOL That made me giggle. 🙂
When my oldest was a couple months old, there was an old man chatting me up about her and mentioned the lack of sleep department. What’s funny is that while I’m sure he said some stupid stranger things in there, the only part I remember is actually not stupid! He said that when his kids got to their teens, he woke them up in the middle of the night for fun, as payback! And that I should do the same 🙂 He was so wise, that I know I will definitely be following his footsteps. As for more recently, after our 4th was born, we had too many people, both aquaintances and strangers make comments about our bedroom life. I kept telling my husband we should have a 5th to be spiteful to their need for us to stop immediately. Well that 5th is here and even with our choosing to stop birthing babies (adoption will be addressed once we’re out of the toddler stage) without their consideration, they still feel they need to be involved in our reproductive lives and if I could have another (husband got clipped) I think I’d like to be spiteful again!
HA! Now THAT’s funny!!
LOL! Good stuff! I totally agree, especially about the donuts.
Donuts are a very serious subject.
Oh my goodness, this list is hilarious!
I know that people said plenty of dumb things when I was pregnant w/ my kiddos (who are now 7 & 3), but the thing that stands out most for me was that everyone wanted to TOUCH my belly. Perfect strangers, close friends ~ it was like I was the Buddha statue in the Chinese restaurant ~ rub here for good luck! Some people at least asked first, but what surprised me was the number of people who didn’t even bother to ask. Seriously??
I read somewhere that you should just start rubbing their belly while they’re rubbing yours (ROFL!).
I can honestly say that the only pregnant belly I have ever touched is MINE. 🙂
This is hilarious – and so true! I’m expecting my second baby in about 6 weeks, and I’m amazed daily at the things strangers say to me.
We should all write a book…..it would be a best seller!
“God plans all our babies.” Booya is right! Love it!!!
BOOYA!
Cute! I remember just after i had my last little dude, my husband took me out to eat and the waitress asked me when i was due! lol
LOL I will never ask anyone that again!
Stacy,
I’m sorry but I have to agree, you missed one! You forgot: “When are you going to have another?”
I am 32 and my little boy just turned 1! He is so sweet but we are still in Survival mode. I never thought we would have children and the thought of another is daunting right now but people see how cute he is and declare we need another! No… I need another cup of coffee.
Thank-you for your posts,
Sarah
Pass the coffee – I always need more coffee. 🙂
Exactly! People are asking me when we’ll have another WHILE I’m STILL PREGNANT with our second when they find out we’re having another boy! Don’t know why it’s so important to have a girl to “round out the set!”
Round out the set? Children aren’t dishes. LOL
My oldest and youngest are 13 years apart. My youngest is 7 years younger then his closest sibling. We didn’t plan either the youngest or oldest, but as you all know, how can you imagine life without them?
I am so amazed when I hear, “Are they from the same father?” If you know me, you know they are; if you don’t know me, “REALLY?” How is that relavant or any of your business?
I loved your observations, they are dead on. Keep lovin’ those babies and no worries about a doughnut now and then….
🙂 Lovin’ on babies is what I do best!
Hilarious!
When some strangers saw my beautiful daughter wearing a pink skirt they said “he’s so cute!” I almost told them they were stupid.
When my mother-in-law saw that my little girl had brown eyes like me instead of hazel eyes like her daddy she said in a disappointed tone “too bad she has brown eyes.” Hello, I’m sitting right here, thanks for the insult and saying my kid could be cuter.
When my daughter was 8 months old a stranger on the elevator asked me when I was due. I said “8 months ago.”
I was asked at work if my husband and I conceived while on birth control…NOYB!
My father constantly reminds me “it will get so much harder” and “time goes by so quickly.” I’m doing good now, let’s leave it at that without worrying about the future!
Fortunately, I received so many stupid comments while I was pregnant I was prepared for the worst after I had my little beauty, good thing! No matter what others say, hurtful or not, my little girl makes me happy!
It’s always good to be prepared. LOL 🙂
I don’t believe it gets harder, just different. What makes it seem harder for a lot of people is that the change seems to happen suddenly, without you noticing, before you were ready for it! Just when you think you’ve got this parenting thing figured out, your child hits a new phase of development, which she or he experiences differently than any of his or her siblings, just as they all do, and then you have to figure it out again. But that’s all — it’s not harder, just different.
All of life is a stage….
Great post! I’ve dealt with many of those issues. Sometimes all you can do is roll your eyes.
Elizabeth, I can just SEE you rolling your eyes. 🙂
This is so funny!
My second son is due in a few weeks, so right now I’m dealing with dumb things people say to pregnant women. The big one that I seem to get SO OFTEN that really just drives me nuts tends to happen when I’m at the check-out with my (already born) son.
The Questioner will notice I’m with my son and obviously pregnant, and ask if I’m having a girl. When I smile and say, “No, another boy!” I’m immediately asked if we’re planning to have another one to try for a girl.
>_<
Could I finish THIS pregnancy before I'm asked to embark on the tribulations of pregnancy AGAIN?! And What's wrong with having only two boys?! Is my life cycle not complete without having a girl?! Why are you so concerned about me having children of both genders?! Last I checked, children are a blessing — regardless their gender!
I have yet to actually SAY all those thoughts, but I usually say something along the lines of, "I don't know, we'll worry about that after this pregnancy." The Questioner usually congrats me and moves on — but there are a few who insist I'll later try for a girl, or that I should.
The weirdest part is, it is WOMEN who ask me this! Really? Shouldn't women know better?!
So, that's my funny story to add to your rant. Feel free to use it. Thank you for giving me a chuckle to my day!
* When I started with, “This is so funny!” I was referring to your post, not the story I told you right afterward!
🙂 I find it funny that everyone has an opinion on how often my body will produce a baby. Good grief.
EXACTLY!
I love this list and have heard quite a few of these. I have one to add, though; it’s akin to the weightloss statement
“When is the baby due?”- this was said to me 2 weeks after the birth of my daughter! I’ve also heard it asked of a coworker, more than once by different people, and her baby will be two years old in February.
I have a couple of stories about strangers asking to hold the little one:
Once when my daughter was very, very small (she’s 8 years old now), a filthy, smelly man asked to hold her at Walmart in line. I don’t know why, but I let him. She was bound and determined to be with him, reaching for him and yelling “Hi! Hi!” After checking out, he gave her back to me with tears in his bright blue eyes. I’ll never know why that baby wanted him, nor why he had those tears, but I’m sure glad I gave him that gift on that day.
Then, there’s my friendly little baby boy who loves _everybody_. Most waiters and waitresses end up holding him a few minutes when we go to restaurants and he’s even visited a restaurant kitchen, one time he was carried out to the car by the restaurant owner. He’s done this in shoppes as well, reaching for the clerk. He’s growing out of this now and prefers Momma to anyone else, well except Grandma, but I think he taught us and those who’ve encountered him a little about the way we all should be: loving and friendly with everyone, regardless of their race or station in life.
That being said, I don’t subscribe to a practice of handing off my babies to just anybody and would ferociously attack anyone who attempted to cart either of them off out of my sight.
Thanks for your list and the opportunity to reflect.
Annie has never met a stranger. 🙂 So, she’s like your children..she just loves people.
I work in a grocery store and two days ago I had a lady in my line with two girls! (About 6 years old). I asked the girls about Halloween and had conversation with the lady! One of the girls was the ladies granddaughter and the other was her daughter. Which made her granddaughter (who was the younger one by 6 months)the other girls aunt. It struck me as very odd, but cool too. You don’t see that everyday. But think about this, How cool would that be to grow up so close to your aunt and only being 6 months apart! Bringing a child into this world is the best thing and cherishing every moment is totally priceless! I would do it again if I could! Mother of a 9 year old ALL boy! 🙂
🙂 I love it when they’re ALL boy!
I laughed when I saw the title. But man! I’ve heard some ridiculous things, but a few if these, wow! I guess people here just aren’t as honest.
In the South, we try to make mean things sound nice. LOL
LOL. My middle two boys are 14 months apart, one blonde one brunette. Constantly getting asked if they’re twins. People ask if my youngest cries. Thy look at me funny when I say No, only when he’s hungry. But they get it right when they comment how handsome all 4 boys are. I agree, but the funny part is when they clarify that they REALLY mean it! I guess they must have lied to some ugly baby’s mamma before!
Yeah – when someone tells you your child is beautiful you always wonder if they mean it. LOL 🙂 But we mamas, we know our children are beautiful.
I think even though the people aren’t able to say the right things their hearts are drawn to the beautiful miracle of babies and they want to say something, unfortunately they might say something that in their family would be very acceptable, but to a stranger it’s really inappropriate! Please forgive all of the tongue-tied strangers that say the wrong thing when they are simply wanting to share the beauty of your baby! I truly hope I’ve never said something that has offended a new mother, but babies are so amazingly wonderful!
Yes they are. 🙂 Every day I look at Andy and Annie in amazement. Our God makes beautiful babies. 🙂 🙂
my oldest son had tons of hair! he would be dressed in blue from head to toe and almost every time we were out someone wanted to know why there weren’t hairbows in his hair. UGH! soon after he was born i took a part time job at kroger’s. a customer kept asking me about my baby. i thought maybe i knew her, but just didn’t remember her. after svl comments she asked when my baby was due! i answered her by saying 4 months ago. the look on her face was priceless. she grabbed her stuff and was out the door.
LOL Sherrie! You shocked her!
My friend was asked when she was due by the check out clerk. Too bad her tiny newborn baby was right there with her . . . Not very observant I guess.
Here’s your sign.
Thanks for the laugh! I can say that now because I sometimes do sleep through the night now that my “babies” are big. I think stupid comments have been around a long time. My aunt dressed my cousin in all blue and kept getting “what a cute girl” comments. She finally decided to put a bib on him that said “I am a boy.” A woman actually asked her “Why is your little girl wearing a bib that says she’s a boy?” I think my aunt would have loved a donut. The one that bugs me the most is when total strangers grab would hold of my baby’s fingers. YUCK! I wish I had been awake enough to think of your snappy comebacks.
Actually, my snappy comebacks don’t come until later when I have time to think. LOL
Holy cow. I just about died laughing while reading this! I can honestly say that no one has ever said any of those things to me…except for the thrift store worker who asked to hold my newborn. Maybe they’re afraid I’ll sit on them and smash them with my baby weight 😉
BAHAHAHAHA! That’s a total hoot!
HAHA! I would love to tell off all the stupid idiots who say & ask moronic things about pregnancy, motherhood, baby, whatever!
What’s funny is those are the touchiest subjects! HA!
Most of the comments never really bothered me. My hubby and I tried for 8 years to have a child… then had a miscarriage. So, when our son finely came along we were so thrilled we didn’t notice, or at least didn’t take offense to these kinds of comments. BUT of course, there’s always ONE that drives you CRAZY!!! We were blessed with at total of 5 healthy babies. My mother lived with us, and each time I told her I was expecting, I swear she’d always comment to her friends over the phone, “I guess they haven’t figured it out yet.” It was inconceivable to her that we would want another child! My husband had a great sense of humor. Our first two were boys. One with light hair, the other dark. They were dressed in boy clothes, but since their hair was a little longer (collar length to look great w/ their Daniel Boone faux Skin caps) we often got the girl comment. What has always puzzled me was even though they were dressed differently, with different hair colors/eye colors many asked if they were twins!? What’s with that? BTW do those donuts come with cinnamon sticks? Wouldja save me one?
Well see….I have a hard time sharing doughnuts. But, I do love y’all. So, I guess I could share. 🙂
I’m old and can’t have babies (but I don’t think mothers ever lose the desire to hold, cuddle and love babies). However, this is PRICELESS!!!!!!!!
Been there, done that 35-40 years ago. People never change!
🙂 Well, at least that’s a comfort. Ha!
My favorite thing that happens EVERY TIME we go in public, plays out a little like this: Stranger: “what beautiful blue eyes your son has.” Me with dark eyes: ” thank you” Stranger: “your husband must have beautiful blue eyes as well” Me: “no, his eyes are green” Stranger (in a sympathetic, Maury the baby isn’t yours tone):” ohhh goodness.” And they rush away as if they know a secret I don’t. I think from now on I am going to carry a family pedigree so they can see the percentage of family members on both sides with Blue eyes! Simple genetics people! not a case of the milk mans kid.
I guess it never occurred to me that someone would come up with that based on eye color.
When I took my youngest to church for the first time, a man came up and asked if her eyes had opened yet! Like a newborn puppy!!! I bout died laughing right in front of him. 3 years later and we still laugh about it and how sad it is that he really was serious and had 3 children of his own and 2 new grandbabies. 🙂
🙂 That’s cute.
This was AWESOME! I once had a stranger in an airport bathroom come up and ask me if they could hold me daughter … yeah right! How did I know she didn’t want to take her to Ten Buck Two??
And there you were in the airport, very close to a plane on the way to Ten Buck Two!
This was too funny!! My 2 boys are preschoolers now and so no more babies, but I remember all of these!! We live in Peru, and what is funny is that here you never know if it is a boy or a girl by the pink clothes and blankets. People use what they have and so you DO have to ask if it is a boy or girl. I learned after commenting on the cute “girls” dressed in pink and they were all boys!
🙂 That’s neat to know….thanks for sharing that!
LOL! even more hilarious was reading this post drinking my chai and doughnuts 🙂
Girl! What kind of doughnut? 😉
Question #7- YES! Love your response to that one.
🙂 I’m always looking for a reason to say booya.
Oh man . . . My oldest honestly was a terrible baby. He was a serious cranky-pants 24-7, barely slept, cried all the time, etc. When people asked if he was a good baby I just said (very seriously), “No, he’s actually terrible. I can’t wait until he grows up.” That shuts them up pretty quickly. I do love my boy though! Just not the baby stage;)
LOL Don’t you love the look on people’s faces?? 🙂
With 9 children I have experienced more than my share of dumb questions but the one that I will never forget was when my 2nd daughter (baby #6) was 4 months old someone looked at her and said “what a gorgeous hair color! Is that natural?” I was so shocked I just looked at her with a confused look and said “yes… it is”.
That reminds me….my 8 week old is late for his hair color appointment. :-/
Very funny. Thanks for posting.
When I had my Little One at 39 I got the “was she planned?” question a lot. I’ve responded with “She wasn’t unplanned. And she’s living proof that God knows what’s in my best interest better then I.”
Depending on the audacity of the person I’ve also added “Do you work to unplan your children? Do you work against God’s best interest for you?”
Excellent questions!
I have six children with the last four being back to back. The worst question for me was ” Boy, your hands are full.” It would make me cringe. I just made doughnuts thinking about it.
Full of LOVE. Booya. 😉
People are always saying that my son is too pretty to be a boy. He’s handsome, not pretty! lol
Once my mom said “He’s such a pretty boy!” Then we all laughed. :-)She hasn’t said it again. Ha!
I still get asked when I am due. And my son is 21 years old. could you please pass the donuts…(smile)
I might be willing to share my doughnuts…if you supply the coffee.
Thanks for the laugh! Yes you get a lot of comments and unasked for advice about kids. What about the question are you done having kids now? We got that a lot after our second was born. I have found that I was very protective with my firstborn and then when my second came along I realized that babies are precious gifts from God that can be shared with others as they don’t stay babies very long. So I let people hold and dote on my babies. There’s just something about a newborn baby that everyone is attracted to and I love it when your baby is old enough to smile at people and make their day. How can you not respond with a smile to a smiling baby? Babies are good for people’s health if you look at it that way. Why as a society do we place such a low value on life? Every baby is such a precious gift from God! I like the pics especially the “sibling love” one. Thanks for sharing.
Man alive – baby smiles, they just do me in. I’m mush. 🙂
I have gotten lots of those kinds of questions with my 7 kids over the years. But I realize that I have asked the sleeping through the night question of some of my friends as well. Thanks for making me rethink that. I think I will just start asking if they are getting enough sleep to make it and do they need me to come over and help so they can get a nap. How would that be?
If someone said I could have a nap, I would cry with joy. LOL
“God plans all our babies”
I love this!!! We had a surprise baby and so many people have asked me this! This will be my new answer!
Don’t forget the BOOYA on the end. 🙂
And never ever, ever ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you see the head crowning. My son, 20yrs old now, was 8mos old and I had went into a store. The cashier said, “awww, when is your baby due?” matching her enthusiasm, I said, “i actually already had it.” “awwww, congratulations!! When? Boy or girl?” I thought…wow, this girl is nosy but here we go…..,”I had a son 8 1/2 months ago. Thanks for asking. Guess I’m not doing so well on my pre baby bod…hope you have a GREAT day!!!”
Well, I think you handled that very well! 🙂
Too funny!! When my little one was born, she had some crazy curly hair. (She’s 7 now, and it’s still really curly- but longer so it fits with her body.) People would actually come up to me and ask me if it was real. I mean, hello? “Yea, moron- my 6 month old gets perms.” or… “Haven’t you seen the baby wigs at the mall- they’re all the rage.” HA!! Unreal.
LOL Erin, that is SO funny!
Thanks for this! I needed the laugh today. I am 7 months pregnant with my second. My first is 11 years old. This one was planned by God 🙂 I think everyone I know asked “Were you trying?” *sigh* Does it matter? God decided our family needed one more, so THERE! I found out that after raising 2 step sons and my son, God is giving us a little girl! I could not be happier!
Anyway, I wanted to share a story about when my son was a baby. He was dressed in yellow. (I never put that outfit on him again when we were in public!) I had 3 people tell how beautiful SHE was. I tried to keep my cool and reply with “She’s actually a boy”. The fourth person who said this, I had had it. I replied “She has a (insert boy genital name)!” I felt horrible for the poor lady. She didn’t know.
I will keep this little one in pink and hope the ignornant keep away! lol
Ha! She probably never asked anyone that again! LOL
I have three very pretty boys and people ask if my 2.5 year old is a girl as well as my 6 month old. My oldest (almost 5) was mistaken for a girl till just recently. It’s not like their hair is super long, just to their ears. And I dress them in very boy attire, like shirts that say “momma’s lil man” and still get the “she is so pretty” or “is it a girl?” Huh?! Really. I loved this post. I hear all these sort of comments often. I usually can brush off most comments because I know people do not mean to hurt your feelings, but I do have one that I still want to punch. I just gave birth to my third and an OB (not my midwife and never met before) came to check on my son’s private area. As I was standing over him, changing his diaper, telling the man that I just finished breast feeding, he asked me if the boy was my child and if I was still pregnant. No I’m just wearing a hospital wrist band, hanging out alone in a room, with someone else’s newborn, changing the diaper of a crying baby with out the birth mother anywhere in sight…. O.O! I realize my belly was still large, but seriously was it medically relevant? No. My midwife said I was doing good, so sorry I didn’t look like a model 30 hrs after giving birth. I told my hubbie about it and he wanted to hunt the guy down (gotta love a man who will fight for his lady). BTW where’s my doughnut? 😉
I don’t share doughnuts. LOL 😉
So we don’t have kids yet, but I may have to go into hermitude after having kids, I don’t think people would survive the encounter if they said some of those things to me.
That’s awesome! I didn’t even know hermitude was a word! I’m going to use it all the time now! Woot!
Just saying…this isn’t just since Social Media. Our oldest is 40-something, and the dumb comments were around then, too. I suspect that if anyone else had been around when Adam and Eve were having theirs, someone would have asked “Is he/she sleeping through the night yet?” And then where would she have gone to get a doughnut?
Poor Eve. I never realized she lived before doughnuts. *Sad*
No, Eve ate apples.
Apple doughnuts! 🙂
Hi!
I can truthfully say I have never asked any of these questions, but I would like to lend somewhat of a rescue to women who ask if the baby sleeps through the night. It is not meant as a challenge to see whose baby sleeps the best, but rather as a show of empathy to a very tired new mamma. It is as if to say, “I know you must be tired, have you been able to get any rest?” That’s all it means.
As for the rest of the comments/questions, well, some people just aren’t brought up with social graces anymore. It seems like the minute a lady announces she is expecting, she is opening herself to all sorts of questions, not to mention to people who want to touch your growing tummy!It shouldn’t happen, but there are always going to be insensitive clods—the best response to ANY oafish remark is an icy stare and then just walk away.
I’ve never had anyone touch my tummy except Barry or a close friend. I’m not sure what I would do if they did. LOL I think I’d be in shock.
My favorite was always “You’re going to breastfeed him here? Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in the ladies room?” No. No, I wouldn’t. Would you enjoy eating your lunch/snack/dinner in the restroom? I think not. Back off. I can do this wherever and whenever I please, thank you very much!
People have just become so socially “stupid.” And it’s sad. So sad. But you go, mama! Love your posts – keep up the great work!
More comfortable in the ladies room? Do you know a single lady that goes to the ladies room for fun? And comfortable? NO. Good night…when I’m in there all I can think about is who didn’t wash their hands. LOL
My mother tells this story, I had very little hair until I was a couple years old, due to medication from being a very sick baby. Mom said she dressed me in little lacy dresses when going out and even then people commented what a pretty little boy you have, she said one day at the grocery she lost it and said she’s a girl can’t you see she’s in a dress. I laugh at her but even today many many years later she doesn’t find it funny.
🙂 She was protecting you. That’s sweet – don’t mess with her baby!
Props! That was totally hilarious and sadly true. Thanks for the laugh!
🙂 Thanks…laughing is what I do best.
So true! My best wasn’t actually about the baby BUT…..the cashier at the gas station asked me when I was due one week AFTER having my baby! Yes, I will take a gas station donut, it’s an emergency!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Okay, that was SO FUNNY! 🙂
You know the strange thing about this color business?
In the 19th century, pink was the BOY’S color. Girls were dressed in blue.
Weird, huh?
Oh my gosh….are you serious? I did not know that!
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! Amen, sister! can I get these “rules” printed on a t-shirt? Or fliers to pass out? Maybe even a PSA? Hehe. Thank you, so much for this post. Especially the end statement. perfect. The only thing I would add is not to ask a mom of multiples if they were on fertility treatments. Talk about privacy. Sheesh, does it matter, people? I guess that goes with the planned /unplanned question. Lol
I think privacy went the way of the dinosaur when Facebook and Twitter came about. LOL
I just had to comment on this one. My youngest daughter is 7 months old now, but when she was two weeks old we took her to church for the first time. I had her in a dress and in her pink car seat as we were getting ready to leave. A man came over to shake our hands and take a look and asked “is it a boy or a girl?” I knew to expect this because I got it all the time with my oldest daughter so that didn’t bother me. I told him she was a girl. He then asked her name. I answered that it is Brylee. Again, I know people hear “Riley” a lot so that doesn’t bother me either. He then said “Riley? so it’s a boy?” I said “no, it’s Brylee, she’s a girl.” I mean, I just told him she was a girl. He then says “A girl named Riley…ok.” I had to just walk away. And to beat it all, he has a grown daughter named Pepper. I was so annoyed the whole day because of it haha!
LOL Aren’t we mommys funny? 🙂
When my daughter was just a couple weeks old, a “friend” saw us at the grocery store. Her comment : “Her head is huge! I hope you had a c-section!” I proudly said, “Nope! Natural birth! You should stop by and watch the birth video sometime.” Her jaw dropped and as I wheeled big headed baby past her I shouted behind me “Don’t forget to bring the popcorn!” Then I cried after I got in the car LOL. Wasn’t gonna give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry!
Oh honey….*hugs!* PS – that was a great come back!
Only put my BEAUTIFUL son in blue – “She’s so pretty!” Thanks. *sigh*
I had PPD with both of my kids. BOTH times was told this was as easy as it gets when they were babies. Do they WANT women to cry?
smh
Postpartum women need encouragement…..
YES! YES! You hit the nail on the head!
But the funny thing is, I can’t hit a REAL nail on the head. 😉
Omigod those kids are PRECIOUS!!!
My second Manling got his dark Sicilian Italian skin from somewhere back my husband’s family tree and then had the audacity to look like MY little brother on top of it. I can’t tell you how many people ask me if “he’s the milkman’s son.” Since they are all older now, I will usually point to one of the others randomly and say, “No, he’s ours, but THAT one… Honey, I think we picked up a stray again!” LOL I figure as many grey hairs as they’ve given me the last couple of years, payback’s a B***H! BOO-YAH!!
I also really got sick of the “are you done?” and “are you going to try for a girl?” questions. The answer to both of those questions is, “Who are you and why is it your business!” We have four wonderful sons, and while I would take any more children I happened to birth or adopt (or pick up on the street–LOL), I sure as heck wouldn’t give any of mine up. Do I wish I had little pink things in the house? Sometimes. At this point I’m waiting for granddaughters. God and I still sometimes go a couple rounds on the girl thing, but I’ve learned to shuddup and listen….sorta… Give up a goofball for a daughter? I don’t think so. And I never saw FOUR as a big family. So I don’t understand the “done” question.
People are just nosy. I guess carrying a cattle prod to move them out of the way is too much, eh? LOL
I agree with you….I don’t think 4 is a big family.
Excellent post. I used to HATE when people would ask me if my baby slept through the night. Idiots. Are babies supposed to sleep through the night?? NO!!!! What is the big deal. Like it is a big contest to see who can get their baby sleeping through the night the fastest! There are SO MANY old wives tales out there. Drives me nuts!!!
I’m weird – I don’t want my baby to sleep through the night….because I’m breastfeeding and I know that means my period will likely come back. LOL
Oh my gosh, this was too funny! I have 4 little ones, and my last 3 were back-to-back… so I’ve got the “were they planned?” question a lot (FTW… my last 2 were surprise blessings;) ) When my youngest was a newborn, I walked my daughter to school, pushing my big ol’ triple stroller, and some lady looked at me, my 3 other kiddos in the stroller, and then proceed to tell me “wow! you’re just a little baby machine aren’t you?” Um… I just half-smiled and walked away. I had NO idea what to say. What do you say to something like that??? Thanks for this post this morning… I really needed that laugh (and now I need a doughnut… so thanks! lol)
Bring the doughnuts over and we’ll have a par-tay!
Our youngest was in a strange position before she was born which resulted in on foot being quite turned in. At around 4 months old, and small for her age, they started the correction process by casting her foot up to the knee. My husband and I were in the check out line and a stranger came up, and with a very accusing tone, asked, “What happened to that poor baby!?” My husband looked her straight in the eye and said she broke it climbing out of bed. That shut her up.
One day I was shopping with my other baby daughter. She was dressed in a very frilly dotted Swiss dress and satin lacy shoes looking as girly as them come. There was an older couple behind us in the check out and he asked if the baby was a boy or a girl. His wife gave him a real dirty look and said, “SHE is wearing a dress!” I still laugh about that to this day.
I think it’s because they don’t have hardly any hair that makes people think the baby is a boy. I must confess, I have seen people dress their baby boys in pink sleepers!
Most babies don’t have lots of hair…but since men go bald more than women, I guess I can understand that a bit. LOL
Good stuff! My mom still gets angry about a lady coming up to her after I was just born saying “awwww she’s cross-eyed” !
Dude….all babies are cross-eyed for a while. Sheesh.
Whew! That gave me deep belly laughs. You have the greatest sense of humor. You did a wonderful job bringing those two angels into the world. You look great and slim to me. Now, you just go get another donut to keep your strength up.
🙂 I’m glad you understood my humor….I was starting to doubt myself. LOL
I love you stacy! And my 3 yr old doesnt sleep through the night either, and oh man, do I get opinions on that! Guess what? I had the same problem when i was little and acting like I was being manipulative didn’t help me out much! Ohhhhh the things people say… I wonder what they must be thinking… I had a random woman stop me in the bristol kroger and tell me someone was going to steal my baby (avni) so I had better watch out. Ummm thanks creepy old lady stranger?
BHAHAHAHAHAHA! I snorted. 🙂
I had my newborn in Walmart as I stopped to get some much needed supplies and a little lady said to me ” That baby is too little to be out shopping” to which I said ” she’s not shopping, she’s sleeping. I’m shopping”
LOL That made me laugh!
The one that would irk me the most is people asking if the baby was planned. How do politely tell people that is none of their business? Also, don’t like the idea of strangers touching my baby. That never happened to me but I would not have like it.
All babies are planned. 🙂
LOl!!Thats a fantastic article stacy spot on !! re your last sentance I always try and make sure that in the supermarket when a mum has a screamimng child in the trolley at the till (cash register) i always tell them “well done” and try to encourage, everyone always stares and they dont even have to be thinking anything bad but a new mum or mum of toddler always feels judged.
We moms need all the encouragement we can get! 🙂
Ok–this is HILARIOUS! And you know I can relate!! I still laugh to remember you raising your hand to keep that lady off him this weekend! Love it!
You know – I wonder what she thought when she saw my hand come up? BHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Amen! I teach infant and toddler classes for child care providers and I always here ‘good baby’ talk. I always point out that there are no BAD babies in this world! For real! It’s just that easy babies make people happier! Sorry but I didn’t have that easy ‘good’ baby, so those comments always offended me! I just knew I loved the temperament of my baby regardless! Great article!!!!
All babies are good babies – sent from the Father above. 🙂
I had my 6 month old daughter dressed in a pink dress with a bow in what little hair she had and someone said what a cute little boy. Just about made me cry, what more could I do to show she was a girl??? Some people!!!
Almost as bad as hearing everyones horror stories about labor and delivery when you’re expecting your first baby. As if you aren’t scared enough to as to how to get a watermellon out of a pin hole. (I know bad analogy).
P.S. my daughter is pregnant with her first and called me in tears one day because a random stranger came up to her and rubbed her belly. Took me a while to calm her down from that invasion of her personal space. She said she wanted to call the police, that’s how invaded she felt.
Good mama! 🙂 I call my Mama when I’m upset too. 🙂
I was HOPING a stranger would rub my belly, so I could make it a point to rub THEIRS, but no one did 😛
LOL Loni, you’re a total hoot!
Oh mercy – I never heard that word analogy before. LOL
This is some funny stuff!! My girlfriends and I have had many laughs about the dumb things people say and DO. When I was pregnant, strangers would come up and touch me. When I was late term, one woman ran her hand from the top of my belly all the way to the bottom – WAY too intimate!
We get comments about our youngest all the time. I have brown hair, my husband dark blonde/light brown and our 7 y.o. auburn. Our 2 y.o. has shock blonde hair and people ask all the time – Where’s she get the blonde hair? My husband started answering “the UPS guy” in a monotone voice and straight face. LOLOLOL!!!
With both of my girls, the comments that really got under my skin the most were comments about thier weight. “You’re feeding her too much – look at those rolls!” “Wow, she doesn’t miss any meals does she?” These are the nicer comments. Some people would flat out say “what a fat baby!” then there were others that *tried* to be nicer – “She’s a healthy one!” Of course, once my children started walking they both lost all the baby fat and we have been concerned more than once about them being UNDER weight.
Thanks for the morning laugh!!
It’s funny to me when people try to be “nice” with their “mean” comments. LOL
When I was pregnant and someone would rub my belly, I got to the point that I would rub their belly right back. There, how does that feel?
Wow…I’m starting to think that maybe I was the only one who didn’t get a rubbed belly. lol
Be glad. Be very, very glad. My motto was “rub my feet, not my belly.” Now, if a stranger had come up and offered to rub my *feet*, I would gladly have laid down in the middle of the floor, parking lot, wherever. Hahaha! (Not really) 😀
Whew, amen to THAT sista!
I just had to respond to this post. My twins, girl and boy, are now 15 years old. When they were babies, many times I was asked “are they identical?” I wanted to crack up laughing, but instead just said “no, they’re a girl and a boy.” They did not look alike, and I dressed them in pink and blue or other seemingly girl/boy colors. I’m sure I heard many of the comments you have, but this was the most memorable for me.
Oh my gosh! I laughed out loud!!! 🙂
Funny you should mention that…I know an adult man who, when he told people that he had a twin sister, would be asked “are y’all identical?” WOW! Uhhhh…no!
Also, I have a friend with twins who is asked constantly “are they both twins?” No, just one of ’em. 😉
LOL Are they both twins? LOL That’s a HOOT!
That is too funny, I also had a similar experience. I babysat 4 yr. old twins years ago, a boy and a girl. I took them to the doctors office for blood work and upon learning they were twins the nurse (yes the nurse) asked if they were identicle. My mouth dropped to the floor, I didn’t even reply and I don’t go there any longer.
I’m laughing right now because I know that’s totally something dumb I would ask. LOL LOL
I’m old enough to be a great grandmother (I’m not) and sometimes I just want to acknowledge a new baby, and I’ve probably said something inappropriate. Don’t take it too seriously.
🙂 I usually don’t – hence the funny post. 😉
Hang in there, Stacy! After 5 kids, nothing bothers me anymore. They mean well. Honest. Except for the ones that don’t, and I have learned to feel absolutely no remorse about turning away with a blank stare and nary a word when someone gets too personal. Was he planned? Vaccines? REALLY? What kind of person asks a total stranger something like that? When I talk to a total stranger, I try to focus on superficialities, because I don’t KNOW them. Superficial is fine. Maybe I should also ask if her bowel habits are normal after the c-section?
I really like it when somebody says “You look great to have such a young baby!”, though. Go ahead and imply that I don’t look *quite* optimal, but not bad for a sleep-deprived, hormonal bag. I’ll take whatever faint praise I can get right now. 🙂
BHAHAHAHA! Cindy, you always make me laugh. 🙂
Wow, haha! I don’t think I’ve experienced half of those questions… thank goodness, because yeah, it’s hard to know how to handle them. Can hardly believe ppl pull that to a complete stranger.
My boys do get mistaken for girls all the time – car/dinosaur t-shirts and all.
The comment about Annie being pretty and looking like Barry was something someone REALLY said to me. LOL
That’s so insane!
LOL
🙂 made me smile…. i guess i’ll add the one i got a couple times when each was about 4-5 months … “so, when are you having another one?” and i think…. WOW. really?
*Sigh* People….
These are great! I have definitely been there, especially since I am reading this early a.m. because my 23 month old does not sleep through the night :/
When my 6 year old was born, she had a lighter complexion like me vs a darker complexion like my husband, and everyone told him that he should call Maury (talk show that does paternity tests). I wanted to drop kick all of them! It was the joke the first year until they finally realized it was getting old…. Yes, it took a year :/
I’m sure after a while it was like the Charlie Brown school-teacher….all you hear is “blah, blah, blah…” 😉
My mouth dropped open with the “you must look like your daddy” one. Wow!! How rude!
Um yeah – that really happened. I was newly postpartum, so that one took me a while to get over. LOL
Amen! This was written really well. I’m going to be sharing. 🙂
I’m still giggling. 🙂
I haven’t had my own kids just yet, but I have a story about my mom when I was about 3 years old or so. My mom went grocery shopping and brought along my two brothers and I. My oldest brother has black hair, my next brother has red hair, and I have blonde. A lady came up to my mom and said “They’re so cute. Do they all have the same dad?”. Yes, we all looked very unique from each other, but how is that her business in any way?
Oh mercy…the things people say. We just have to laugh and shake our head. 🙂
HIL-AR-IOUS! I dress all my girls (all three of them) in pink or purple, most often with bows around their bald heads. Even then, it’s amazing the amount of people who’ll mistake them for boys. But I have to disagree with you on one thing; my babies sleep through the night really early, and stay that way. I’d say six months was the longest it took, with my second. I don’t tell anyone. Yes, I’m one of those Babywise Mums, I let my babies cry to sleep when they’re new, and most people look down on that, or want to call me ‘lucky’ that my babies are so ‘good’… so I just usually don’t breach the subject. I don’t go off on anyone for doing things how it works for their family… but as you’ve noticed, most people seem pretty forward with their opinions, whether you want them or now.
🙂 I’m not a Babywise mom….but that’s okay!
PS – I wonder if people notice the WEIRD look I give them when they ask the sex of my child who is dressed in blue from head to foot and has a ball cap on.
YES! People can be so clueless!
😉
Cheryn—I am sooooooo with you. I too am a babywiserish gal. I let them cry and they both slept incredibly early through the night, despite being completely different personalities, but we too either get looked down on for it or called “lucky” which I hate the worst. Believe me, we were not lucky, we put a great deal of love, discipline, and work into sleep training them! Anywho, just thought I would commiserate with you girl. And Stacy, how about the things said while pregnant?! It doesn’t start with the baby, it definitely gets started at pregnancy!!!! Such ridiculous ignorant things people say!
Ha, ha! Hence those two posts. 😉 Gotta laugh so we don’t cry. 🙂
Please tell me how being in prison precludes one from being able to hold a baby? Js. Delete your emails. I already unfriended you from fb due to your views on opportunistically benefiting from another’s misfortune and bragging about it. You’re just too much. Thanks for the tips, but not worth the judgmental mindset.
I do not believe she waas trying to come across judgemental. There are plenty of people who have been in prison and changed…but planty more who have been in prison only to get out and commit more crimes. Not to mention it’s a joke. Lighten up….try eating a doughnut.
I think she was JOKING! Her point was: She has NO IDEA who people are in the grocery store parking lot who may ask to hold her baby. It’s a valid concern, though. We can’t be too careful with our kids. Are all people who have been to prison a threat? NO! But are some? YES–just as some who haven’t been to prison are!
Dee, perhaps you should lay off the caffeine for a while. Not everything is a 10 on the outrage scale.
I had an old lady at church say “Well there’s no doubt who her daddy is now is there!” Umm how about you just say she looks like her daddy instead of insinuating I’m a…
LOL I literally snorted with that one!
I get that one all the time. My husband has taken to answering “Yes, they look just like me, but we are not sure who the mother is”. It generally shuts ’em up. Hard.
LOL 🙂
I HATE that one! Somebody once told my hubby about our second son, who is, thus far, the only one with dark hair “You can’t deny that one is yours!” Like he was trying to deny the rest of them? Or perhaps his wife is so untrustworthy that the blonde ones might be questionable? I know I shouldn’t feel insulted, since he didn’t mean that, but that insinuation is beyond rude.
LOL I’m snorting so much today that my nose is going to get tired!
Oooh I’ve definitely been guilty of asking about being a good baby…and sleeping through the night 😀 But that’s usually when they’re quite a bit older, and I try to phrase it more like “How is he/she doing?” 😀
That is a WAY better way to ask it! LOL 🙂 Especially if you’re also handing them a doughnut at the same time….
These questions kill me!!!! I really can’t stand when people don’t think before they open their mouth. When my oldest son was a baby, he was dressed in a blue onesie, blue socks, blue bib, with a blue blanket and in his car seat that was blue and someone told me that “she is the cutest baby girl.” I may or may not have replied with well, I guess he will need a sex change since he isn’t a cute boy 😉
BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Oh, this really made me laugh! My mother-in-law used to tell the story about when she and her husband had my husband out in his stroller. Some random lady came up to them and said “Oh, he is so cute! He doesn’t look like either one of you!” REALLY. And we had my niece at the mall to get Christmas pictures. She was a few months old , and had on a frilly little red dress, ruffled booties, and bows in her hair. Someone said “How cute. Is it a boy or a girl?” Oh.my.goodness.
You should have said BOY! lol
This was too funny Stacy! I really needed a good laugh this morning. Good job momma 🙂
🙂 And when you’re postpartum, just read it again.
So much to look forward to as a soon-to-be new mom! Lol 🙂 It is sad that women don’t build each other up more!
Yes, but at least we can laugh about it. 🙂
Well, when my daughter was about 5 months old (she is now 32 years old!)she was dressed in a cute little dress and we were in the supermarket. I saw a friend from school days, so we stopped and chatted for a while. My friend then said – “cute baby – boy or girl?” A question of which I had already had enough, so retorted with: “Can’t you see the dress?” To which he replied to my eternal shame, “no, I am almost completely blind now”. I never had a problem with being posed that question again!
Oh! My! Yikes! That’s an excellent point!
Yup, had my boy dressed as a boy and told “she” was pretty. We’ve also been asked if we were sure our child was my husband’s. Shoowee. And yes, that is the best thing to tell a new mom. 🙂 Booya.
If you were SURE? Good grief.
UGH! This happened to my sister! I was shocked when I heard that!