Stacy’s Caramel Biscuits

*UPDATE – See this post about our new eating habits.(7/10/11)

One Sunday morning I was sitting in church and happened to look up to see a Hardee’s sign. It said “NOW SERVING NEW CARAMEL BISCUITS!” Say what? Do you know that my concentration went out the window? All I could think about was a caramel biscuit. How could that NOT be heaven on a plate? I don’t even remember if I clapped my hands or put something in the offering….I was in a trance. So, of course I had to inquire about this phenomenon. I asked on Facebook if anyone had tried one. I got several responses….some liked them, some hated them. And then came the challenge. “Stacy, you could make something better than that.” CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! It’s like getting double-dared in school; you have to do it….you won’t sleep until you do it. All the kids will call you a weenie. I am not a weenie – I made the caramel biscuit. And I was right – it IS heaven on a plate. So, here’s Stacy’s version of the Hardee’s Caramel Biscuit.

We need to make the homemade caramel sauce first because it has to cool to room temperature. Grab a large, heavy saucepan. Emphasis on HEAVY. This won’t work with a dinky pan….you’ll scorch the pan and the sugar. These pans are my favorite. They’re old. My grandmother gave them to me when I went to college….and I’m still using them. You’ll have to pry them from my cold dead fingers to get rid of them. We’re going to make ½ cup of caramel sauce. Go ahead and dump in ½ cup sugar into your pot. Grab a wooden spoon for stirring.

Put the pan on HIGH heat. Now, just wait for the sugar to start melting. Once it starts, you need to stir constantly. Once Barry was reading me a recipe and he said “Stir constantly occasionally.” HUH? He read it wrong. I still make fun of him for that. It’s okay because I say something dumb on a daily basis, so he always has ammo. So, stir constantly occasionally so your sugar won’t burn.

As soon as the sugar comes to a boil, stop stirring. Swirl the pan until you can tell the sugar crystals have melted. For me, this happens really quick. REALLY QUICK! This particular time, my sugar crystals were melted before I got a boil. That’s okay. We’re just looking for the graininess to be gone. It should be a light amber color. Notice anything wrong?

As soon as your crystals are melted, add 3 tablespoons of butter. Real butter. Don’t skimp on this stuff…..you’ll be eternally sorry if you do. Stir really fast until it’s all melted and then take it off the stove. Noticing anything wrong yet?

Count to three and add your milk. You’ll add ¼ cup whole milk. You could also use evaporated milk or heavy cream. Any of those will work. The milk is going to make it foam up pretty good. So, I hope you’re not using a little pan. It needs to be at least 3 quarts. Stir the mixture until it’s smooth. Let it cool in the pan for a few minutes and then let it cool in a glass jar until it’s room temperature. Please be very careful! This stuff is HOT. I said it’s HOT!! You’ll burn the heck out of yourself if you’re not careful.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that something is wrong with my caramel…..it’s black. Making caramel is a very fast process. Fast meaning, you shouldn’t try to take pictures and hold Annie at the same time while making it. If you do, you’ll burn it. It’s going to go really quick, so be prepared. Have all your stuff ready and try to make it when your baby is asleep and don’t try to take pictures of the process. I burned mine since I was trying to take pictures and care for Annie so I had to make another batch.

Now! This is the color it should be…and it should smell utterly divine. You’ll want to rub it all over your body. Be careful, it’s hot. 🙂 It will thicken as it cools.

You could make biscuits from scratch if you like. It was early and I really wanted biscuits, so I grabbed these out of the freezer. We just love these – they taste almost like homemade. You could also use canned biscuits. Just use what you have. For me that translates “Just use what’s on sale.” So, go ahead and bake your biscuits while the caramel sauce cools to room temperature. This recipe will make enough for four biscuits…..or you could do two now and two later. Anything goes!

It’s time to make the crumble topping. You’ll use equal parts brown sugar and flour, ¼ cup each. We’ll use cold butter (2 tablespoons) and a dash of cinnamon. You can leave the cinnamon out…..but I’m in love with it, so I try to put it in just about everything. It doesn’t taste good plain though…..I know. Neither does vanilla. They’re just teasing you with their lovely scent. It’s a dirty joke.

Use a pastry blender and work in the butter until you get a crumbly mixture. I washed my hands and did it with my hands this time. I wanted to make sure it got it incorporated really well. My brown sugar had lumps in it, so I needed to coax it along. Mainly, I just like playing in stuff with my hands. It stems from my childhood of making mud pies.

We need to make an icing drizzle for the top of the biscuit. It’s like the grand finale at the fireworks. You see it and it takes your breath away. Little kids rejoice! Anyway, this is ½ cup confectioner’s sugar mixed with 1 teaspoon of milk and a dash of vanilla extract. I mixed it up with my mini whisk until it was smooth. I <3 my mini whisk!!!!!! You should really get one. I have two.

The magic is about to begin. I’m not sure you can handle this. It’s going to get pretty awesome up in here……get your warm biscuits out and split them open. Make sure they’re warm. It will help the crumble topping get a nice and toasty.

Sprinkle some of your crumble topping over the biscuit. I love sprinkling stuff! It’s so much fun. I’m sure Annie will take over this job soon. I’ll be sad……can’t I just make her wash the dishes instead?

Grab a spoon and drizzle your caramel over the top of the crumble. Don’t skimp! Ok, if you’ve got high sugar, you might want to skimp a little. It’s so pretty. I drizzled a lot. I like drizzling too…….I like a lot of things. I guess I’m just a happy person!

I put just a tad bit more crumble over the caramel sauce. I wanted to make sure I had enough. To have not enough would just make this a very sad event – and I could tell this was really going places.

Now, drizzle the icing over the top. It’s like the icing on the cake! Okay, it’s the icing on the biscuit. Same thing. Use however much you want.  And you thought biscuits couldn’t get any better.

Oh. My. Gosh. Let me just tell you, that these are AWESOME! Barry had an actual Hardee’s version at work and he said this one was better – not as greasy. I groaned all the way through mine. It was THAT good. I’m drooling now just remembering it. However, I will warn you – this is NOT for diabetics. Good grief. When I was done, I felt almost like I was about to go into a diabetic coma. It is VERY sweet, but it’s a wonderful treat. You surely won’t want them every day……unless you’re a kid. You should really serve it with something to cut the sweetness, like eggs or sausage. I ate some peanut butter with mine and that helped. I like to eat peanut butter with just about everything. You want to make these. Trust me. Your family will bow down at your feet.