My dad called. The first thing out of his mouth was, “I wanted to call and tell you this before you saw it on Facebook…” I was done. Finished.
I’ve walked away from Facebook for personal use. Mostly because it was driving me nutso. I’m not sure if I’m your average Facebook user, though. I found that it was stressing me out more than helping me out. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
No, this isn’t a post why you should leave Facebook. I’m well aware that most people won’t – and that’s okay. It’s a good tool for those who know how to use it. I don’t.
I’ve stayed on FB for this blog, to announce new posts or something I’ve seen that I thought you might enjoy. Otherwise, I stick mostly with this blog and Instagram. If you’re one of the types of people who can use Facebook to your advantage, not get upset at things you see, or get addicted to being on it a million times a day, that’s why I’ve stayed – for you. 😉 I usually check it about once a day to make sure I don’t have anything pressing to answer…but sometimes it’s every two-three days. Sometimes butt wiping puts me behind on things…pun intended.
For whatever reason, it seems that on Facebook people feel free to act like total idiots – and say stupid things they wouldn’t ever dare to say to someone’s face. When did that happen? I think it’s awful. Facebook was stressing me out because:
- I would see family post things that I shouldn’t be seeing online with general public…it would be nice to hear it from them.
- I would see people say nasty and rude things to each other
- I would see photos of things that I really shouldn’t be looking at
- It’s addicting to check it multiple times a day
- I don’t really care about most of the stuff being posted
- It keeps people from being present…you know, like with you.
For whatever reason, Instagram doesn’t seem to be this way. The community there is great, uplifting and fun. I know tons of you say you don’t have time for that. It just means we all have to choose where we can best spend our time and be the most uplifted. For me, I’m spending my time there and getting to know people. A picture is worth 1,000 words.
Sure, you can just choose to let this stuff run off your back. Or you can turn your back on it and walk away. Which is what I did. But for those of you staying, here’s this post to get you thinking. Should you be posting that on Facebook?!
Things you should NOT post on Facebook
Big announcements before telling your family
You know, I don’t know why this one bothers me so badly. But I really hate hearing that someone is pregnant, getting married, or dying by a public post on a social media platform. Wouldn’t it be nice to call someone? Or visit someone? Or gosh, even TEXT SOMEONE before putting it on social media to make sure the guy you once met at Subway could know at the same time as your sister-in-law?
You’re going on vacation
I really, really struggle with this one. For one, I feel like saying “Hey! I’m going to Disney!” and posting my pictures while there is just an invitation saying, “Hey, person I once checked out beside at Kroger, want to come rob my house?!” If you’re going to do this, make sure your post is private and you trust the people on your page….or make sure all your neighbors know you’re going to be gone so they can keep an eye on the place – this is the one we aim for. And I’m still very vague when we go anywhere.
Mean and terrible rants against your spouse
Hello? This is your SPOUSE. The person you pledged to love and stick with the rest of your life. You shouldn’t be trashing them on social media. Heck, you shouldn’t be trashing them at all. In public, only speak highly of your spouse…praise them and love on them. Period.
Does this mean that I never get mad at Barry? Uh, no. I’m fiery and get mad on a regular basis…so I either talk it out with my best friend, or with the walls in the bathroom – and just a little talk with Jesus makes it right.
Wild and crazy pictures and status updates
Okay, this might come as a shock…but did you realize other people can see those photos and things you post? Like EMPLOYERS?! Potential employers are now checking social media to see how you’re acting. A terrible page is not likely to get you hired, pal. It’s likely to get your butt kicked out on the street. Saying that you got so drunk you slept in a phone booth last night isn’t a good way to be promoted to VP of Sales. Side note: do they even have phone booths anymore? Doh.
Things about your children
Don’t say stuff about your kids that you can’t take back. Seriously. They might not be able to read now, but they can later. And everything on the internet is permanent…I don’t care what someone says. Have you not seen CSI?!
If it would embarrass you, then don’t post it about your kids. And don’t say mean things about them – label them – or post awful pictures to get a laugh.
Cute things are awesome. Cute photos are awesome. Milestones are awesome. Funny little happenings are awesome. Stories that would embarrass them for life? Not so much. Saying rude and vulgar things about them? Come on. No way.
In closing
Again, this is not a post about why you should leave Facebook and join me on Instagram…but it’s cool if you do. This is post to get you thinking about stuff you’re posting on social media (stuff that lasts forever) and to think about where you’re spending your time – are you being uplifted? If not, do you really have time for that? It’s also possible to fall into this same rut on Instagram or Twitter – so before you post, think.
I enjoy fb, but limit myself to checking it after work. Then I’m done. I have friends all over the world and have gotten back in touch with my first bff and keep in touch with loved ones who have moved. My biggest pet peeve is “not walking the talk”. People who make claims about their core values, but post pix and posts that are in direct opposition to those values. I had to unfriend someone who posted two back to back visual f-bombs. Mostly because I don’t want to see that on “MY” page, but I also have a sweet grandbaby who could have potentially see that ugliness. How do you explain that to little ones?
Yeah – when you have to shield your screen it’s scary.
I have to say thank you for staying on facebook for those of us that don’t do IG (yet!), because I missed you when you took your hiatus! I agree, never posting that you’ll be on vacation–we have a house sitter, every time, but why would I want to put her in danger if someone saw a post and thought that we weren’t home and decided to break in? We’ve got great neighbors and all, but it’s just senseless. The trick is to keep the kids from posting that we’re going when we go as a family… I’m like, DON’T SAY ANYTHING UNTIL WE GET BACK, and then you post pictures, stories, and (almost!) whatever you like about our trip.
One thing that I am adamant not to post is exact dates of anniversaries, where you were born, birthdates, etc. Lots of times, this information is used on your banking websites as security questions, and the scammers can comb through your timeline and find all SORTS of information about you that way! This includes the “what would your Game of Thrones name be” type posts where you use your birth month and date or something like that. My profile information makes me 127 years old, for the record… In reality, I’m only 20 years old, with a few years experience!
Another thing not to post, which may tie in to poop and boogers: I unfriended someone because her posts were ALWAYS so negative and narcissistic. Can’t sleep due to the wind and have a massive headache, my period blew up and all over the bedsheets while I was sleeping (yeah, no, she really did put that out there, more than once. Gross.), my ex husband this, my abusive mother that, one positive thing but it becomes negative by the end of the post… Hello! Eph 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” We still have some common friends on FB (they periodically tell me that she had another rough night; we join in praying for her), but I just can’t believe how many feed into her pity parties.
I myself don’t post often on facebook, but I do often enjoy commenting on others and really enjoy a few communities where I’m a member (regency costuming and backyard chickens for example; I like that I can get lots of good and fairly specialized info on one site, or links that I can follow back to the original boards), and I do find FB a somewhat useful tool. I do have to use a “self-filter” for some, and there are several folks that I have their posts hidden, and I also use the “show no more ads from XYZ” a LOT. I agree with another commenter that it’s just about the only way to keep up with certain school buds, grandparents, etc.
Maybe it’s just me, but I think it’s sad that we find that the internet is now the only way to keep up with some people. 🙁 But, I’m super glad you’ve been able to make it work for you…the chicken group sounds great! 🙂
I’ve chosen to invest more time in my relationships with friends using text or email…I feel like that’s more personal than putting everything out in the open. But, I’m an introvert, so what are we going to do with me? 😉 I’m strange.
I’ve been very concerned recently about nasty people can be. I’ve also gotten pretty fed up with the things a terrible percentage of social media users feel they have the right to say to/about complete strangers.
However, the thing that I’ve decided to not do anymore (or at least until they are older teenagers) is use pictures with my kids for my Facebook profile pic or cover photo. Those pictures are public and there’s nothing Facebook allows you to do about it while the picture is set as a profile or cover photo. (They can be changed to private after they are changed out for another photo.) This was driven home when a friend commented on a news style post, and someone posted an ugly reply to her comment with a ***photo of her children*** attached to the comment…. Super creepy, scary, horrifying!!!
I’m praying alot these days about the huge part of my life I’ve allowed Facebook to take up… It’s exhausting. And it’s embarrassing to even admit!
This was a great post and timely! Thank you 🙂
Wow – I didn’t even know that was possible. Frightening.
It is totally possible in any social media format for someone to right click on YOUR photos and make them THEIRS. It is scary easy for Facebook stalkers to find out tons about you even with privacy settings. Thanks for the good advice.
Stacy, this is a great post and I wish more people would follow your advice. FB is such a time waster! We’ve been conditioned to share our very smallest thoughts with the world, in hopes of getting feedback. Think about it. Do we really need that much validation? Anyway, the things that get me the most are spouse bashing, naked babies/toddlers and reports about how your child learned to poop, vomit, or whatever. WHO CARES??? Seriously, no one cares that little Johnny is potty trained or has projectile vomiting. Ok, rant over 🙂 Thanks for asking 🙂
Hey – poop and puke is my life at this stage. Soooo, don’t text me. LOL 🙂 🙂 But rest assured, I won’t post it on FB.
Well said, Stacy! Keep up the good work.
Thank ya.
Amen to all of it! It is addicting! I have to watch myself and using it. I would use instagram but…mmm I don’t have a smart phone and don’t know how to just use in on a computer LOL!
Just click the link and you can see photos. 🙂 If you know someone’s username, you can switch it out.
http://instagram.com/stacymakescents
For example I could use your name:
http://instagram.com/samanthaseymour
I NEVER post about vacations when I am on them. Agreed. You are saying to the whole world, “My house is open! Take what you want! I won’t be back for 5 days!” Craziness!
Free for all!
I’m not much of a facebooker, so maybe I’m just missing something, but why do people post pictures of their kids on their birthdays and post how much they are loved? He’s FOUR! is he really checking facebook to hear how much you love him? Is there some archival nature of facebook or even instagram that I’m not getting? I find myself rolling my eyes at that a little. And since you bring up the security issue, isn’t it a bad thing to post his birth date to the world?
Sometimes it’s fun to love on our kids even if they might not see it. 🙂 I love to speak highly of Barry even though he might not ever know it or see it.
I agree Stacy! Also, we have family from all over, and due to time differences, they can’t always call, so they will wish my kids happy birthday on Facebook. I always read the birthday wishes to them, and they love it.
The big announcements get me. We waited a few days for a simple post about my pregnancy AFTER all close family and friends were told. I also tried to make it simple as odds are someone in one of our friends list is struggling with infertility. And the vacation announcements prior or during vacation is so stupid!
I won’t let anyone put anything on FB about pregnancy/birth until after all phone calls have been made, etc.
I deactivated my account yesterday. My husband and I have spent days moving. He is exhausted but a trooper! Anyway, under his FB announcement that he is moving, she made several mean comments. I was very angry because my husband spent 5 hours to pick up her crap! It was the last straw! She is a total narcissist, who has cried every time I see her. I had a good talk with my MIL who said she avoids talking to her unless necessary. That is my plan too. Back to relaxation for good of baby!
A local community member and small business owner recently posted degrading photos and comments about a local business that had just gone under. It was humiliating and hurtful, and I can’t begin to imagine how that affected the struggling business owner. IMHO, no matter how badly or for what reasons a business failed, I think it was shameful to do that to someone.
If you can’t say something nice…..ya know?
I’m sharing this….on facebook :).
LOL Thank you, friend.
I Lear ed my father-in-law died on Facebook. Enough said.
Oh dear – I am so very sorry.
God decided for me to quit Facebook about 5 years ago. I only do inStagram and then choose wisely!
Yes – it’s easy to follow too many people on there too.
I have to say that Instagram is a lot more fun than Facebook. I totally agree won’t you there. I have left Facebook and come back but definitely don’t check it as often as before. It can be so catty! I don’t think those were the intentions of Facebook. Love your blog!
No, I don’t think they set out that way either…but alas, somehow we’ve ended up there. Thanks so much, Wendy!
BRAVO!!! I am so with you on this one. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for reading. 🙂
Stacy I agree! I actually left Facebook almost a month ago. Beforehand I had taken 3 months off to pray about this decision and the Lord gave me 1 Corinthians 10:23 “I can do whatever I want, but not all things are beneficial” I was definitely addicted and even more so when I became a stay at home mom. It was my way to “feel” connected…but it had become an obsession that took over much of my time. Anyway, thank you for this post. I recently heard a radio program also talking about social media and how it can become obsessive. These are simply confirmations for me personally that it was the bet decision for me.
Oh man – I love that verse. Applicable to so many areas of life.
Stacy I actually just left Facebook almost a month ago. A lot of friends and family thought I was nuts for doing so, but it’s been very beneficial. Before hand, I took three months off and prayed about either getting back on or staying off for good. For me, the Lord showed me it was time to cut that out. So, I have been off permanently about a month and it has been great! One thing that helped me make my decision was *1 Corinthians 10:23..”I have e right to do anything” you say, but not everything is beneficial (including Facebook) “I have the right to do anything” but not everything is constructive. NIV
My family thinks I’m nuts on a daily basis. LOL
i totally agree with your list! I’m amazed at what comes out of people’s mouths…er keyboards! However, I’m one who will not leave. I have friends from college scattered all over the world, cousins in Kansas and grandchildren in OH that I don’t get to see nearly often enough. Being on FB lets me glimpse into their lives (and any posting inappropriately get unfollowed!) and stay connected. I’ve become very fast at scrolling through the nonsense.
And you’re one who can stay without being affected. 🙂 I’m glad you’re able to brush that stuff off and move along. Good for you! <3
I live in a rural area, small town atmosphere, and occasionally there is a business owner who will post their “things gone wrong” stories about dealing with local patrons, giving names and information and such. Obviously, they were absent from ethics class. boo!
Oh man. That’s just crazy.
I love this! I guess about 3 years ago I got off of Facebook for most of the reasons you just stated…the biggest for me was the time drainer. (Where with Instagram, I can check it quickly.) I’ve now been back on Facebook for about 1 1/2 years. I have unfriended and unfollowed so many people. I hate to see scantily clad people, griping/complaining, and profanity…if I see those things, I hide those people! All that said, I still check it too many times a day. I do love to be in touch with people that I wouldn’t normally be in touch with, well mostly. 🙂
🙂 I’m glad to keep up with you on Instagram.
Not that I’m on there anymore, (and how nice and quiet it is here in my own little head, with no unnecessary knowledge about what people who don’t even know me are doing, feeling, and thinking about right this very minute), but I’d add “vaguebooking” to that list. You know. You post a status update with few details, full of outrage or excitement, but it is obviously directed *at* someone. Always either a sly invitation to interested parties to pm you for juicy gossip or a passive-aggressive way to say something to someone on FB without having to directly confront them.
Oh yeah – I wouldn’t have known how to word that but TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!
This is spot on! I get so darn frustrated at the things people post on Facebook. Most of what people post is so inappropriate that I’ve gone to the extreme and post almost nothing. Maybe I need to be as bold as you and leave.
Thanks for this post, it really makes me question why I’ve stayed so long.
I hope you’ll make the decision that’s right for you. 🙂