I’m just about sick of all of us tearing each other down based on decisions that are INDIVIDUAL. When did we decide that chewing someone up and spitting them out was okay? What are we teaching our children about speaking to others in love? I’ll tell ya – jack squat if we continue on this path.
Nothing in life that you want to do is going to be agreeable to everyone. Nothing. Well, except you probably won’t find anyone saying that kale is bad for you. (Insert millions of links where random people say kale is bad.)
For every decision or topic that you find someone saying it’s “good” you’ll find equally as many saying it’s “bad.” So, what’s a feller to do?
Vaccinate everyone! Vaccines suck.
Homeschool all the people! Public school is where it’s at.
Processed food will kill you and leave you dead and bloody along the way! Processed food is all I can afford.
Breast is best! Formula was made to make life convenient.
BREAD IS THE DEVIL!!!!! Pass me a roll.
If you eat one pint of coconut oil per day, you’ll never get fat. Coconut oil will kill you with saturated fat!!!!
GMOs are good because they allow us to grow more food to feed the hungry. GMOs are from the pits of hell.
Only this essential oil is the right kind to use. Why use oils when you can go to Walgreens?
What’s the right choice to make? How can you ever come to a conclusion? I’ll tell you – that’s why they pay me the big bucks. Oh wait…nevermind.
1. What’s best for you and your family?
2. Do that.
3. Haters gonna hate – tell them to buzz off.
That’s it. Seriously. That’s all there is too it. Decide what works for YOUR FAMILY then do it. Forget all the other stuff. Rest confident in your decision.
Now, here’s the important part...don’t hate or tear down someone else. We are not all going to agree. Ever. That’s okay. What’s NOT okay is when we troll around and make nasty comments about someone else’s decision. Attacking their character and what they’ve decided is right for their family.
Here’s what’s best to do in this situation. Are you ready? Keep your mouth shut. If so-and-so is spouting off on Facebook about their decision to take baths in coconut oil, but you think coconut oil makes your skin dry, then just KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. There’s no need to comment. Just pass along on your merry way and use Dove.
Our new mantra – When in doubt, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry… James 1:19
Now, this doesn’t hold true for all things. Some things aren’t based on what works for you. Some things are based on what GOD says works. So, even if, “thou shalt not bear false witness” doesn’t really work for you…well, TOO BAD. You can’t decide on that. But most other things – yeah, you can decide those.
What we really need is to love and support each other – no matter if we make different decisions. What we really need is to speak in kindness and love. Oh, and we really need is some chocolate. I think that’s in the Bible somewhere too.
Yes! I recently joined a FB group about budget meals and I like it – there is some helpful stuff there, but it gets annoying when over and over again someone comments on a post about how bad processed food is for you or whatever. The person didn’t ask for your opinion – they just shared what is working for them today. Your opinon is like your butt – I know you have one but I don’t want it shoved in my face.
BAHAHAHAHAH! I have to share that with Barry RIGHT NOW!
Oh man, have I ever learned this through the years! I’m getting pretty good at keeping my mouth shut now 🙂
Well, I hope I eventually get good at it. LOL
Yes! Yes! Yes! I’ve essentially been off of FB since the first of the year because I was so annoyed with all the junk. People I love in real life show a side of themselves on social media that makes me go “Hmmmmm” and I’ve hidden some good friends for that reason (which lends itself to a whole different discussion for another day). I also walked away because there was just so much “My way of thinking about ______________ is the ONLY way of thinking. You obviously don’t have a brain and aren’t as highly educated as me if you don’t believe___________” filling up my world. I unsubscribed from a lot, hid some people, and just walked away. Phil 4:8 says to think about what is true, lovely, praiseworthy, etc. and I needed to step back.
My “flesh” also came out and I’d find myself being extremely judgemental and holier-than-thou, too. I was smart enough not to post it, but it doesn’t matter—I was still allowing myself to get riled up when reading stuff I disagreed with instead of taking the mature “That’s their opinion” stance I should’ve had so I walked away to not feed that negative behavior in my own life.
Oh my yes – I get holier than thou lots of times. Then one of my kids doesn’t something to smack me back into reality – like eating from the ash bucket.
I don’t think I’ll ever get over the cuteness of him confessing he got into the “ash butt-butt”. Priceless!
Yep – and I have it taped for all of eternity! Bhahahahahah!
Hi!! This was so wonderful to read!! I totally agree. I especially don’t like it when woman year each other apart. I have strived to be positive and to ignore anything negative that pops up or when people comment. I have been hurt way too much over online people and people in person as well. Especially when they are commenting onmy parenting. Like for instance my son was born a week early but we were advised he could have some chewing/eating troubles and he might not; well he sure does and he is 2 and we still can’t let him hold any food to try and take a bite because he won’t do it he will try and swallow it whole. Even when we cut it up small for him he still sometimes swallow those pieces whole. And most people don’t know that and tell me I’m babying him and when I do say it they say he has to learn sometime. Which then turns into a battle. It breaks my heart seeing people hurt other people with words
We all need to strive to be positive. Being the opposite doesn’t do us much good, does it? 🙂
Well…..I love kale! I buy two bunches of the stuff every week along with chard and spinach. Green smoothie power!
I do wish people would stand down for a day and think about what they are saying to others.
I have heard it’s great in smoothies – I usually use spinach. 🙂
This is great advise. Also, don’t answer an email in the heat of the moment. Wait a day for emotions to simmer down if you are angry, especially a family member! Remember, they won’t go away, you have to face them sometime. I have learned the hard way.
Oh yeah – great advice. I find that a night of sleep makes it a lot easier to respond to an email without losing it. Speaking from experience. LOL
I enjoy your posts and I have enjoyed watching your growth as a woman, a wife and a mother. I have been the person that got involved with different revolutionary ideas, from churches to homeschool to circumcision and even feminine protection. The vaccine thing wasn’t a big one what I was a young mom or a young child. We just got them cause the doctor trapped me in the room and my mom held me down 🙂
As a grown woman, having vaccinated all of my kids, I had no issues with vaccines other than remembering the right time to do them. I didn’t think anyone got “those” diseases anymore until I met my husband. As a small child he and two siblings were afflicted with Smallpox. The good news is that two of the survived it. The bad news is that one did not, and my husband and his little sister were both horribly scarred by the experience-physically. Anyone who knows him soon forgets the scarring on his face, but objectively, it is horrible to see the first time. Infertility is one of the life long complications that he has from Smallpox. I think that in this time of such relatively good health and easy living, we forget how dangerous the world used to be, how tenuous life actually was.. I would encourage people to study up on the diseases that they refuse to vaccinate for rather than or at least as much as they are reading up on the arguments against vaccination. And DO NOT base your decision on the fact that because so many are vaccinated that your child is unlikely to be exposed to it. We have seen how that goes out the window if a child is exposed. Even at the happiest place on earth!
Oooooh, feminine protection. One of my favorite topics. Ha ha! 🙂
AMEN to that, Stacy! If we don’t agree with someone on FB, my husband and I don’t comment and we certainly don’t “like” it. In our own lives, we are judged constantly by people who don’t know our family or what is going on. We tell our kids that our personal life is private as is our histories. We have six adopted kids and of course, they all come with issues. We homeschool and home church. We have the support of all the therapists, doctors, etc. Still we have had CPS called on us three times and it is always unfounded accusations. This totally freaks my poor kids out and we have to deal with the acting out. All because people want to get in our business and hate our multiracial family. We keep doing what is right for our family. Our children have far surpassed achievements that we were told to give up on. For example, one son is mentally retarded. He can now read and do times tables, etc. We were told just to teach him life skills. He is so much more capable. Another son is now in a facility where he goes to boarding school and gets mucho therapy. We were told by experts to give up on him and don’t pick him up from hospital. He is doing great and we have great hopes for him now. People have made our lives harder than it has to be simply because they don’t understand and they never asked. My daughter sold girl scout cookies and this woman started telling her how to correct her lisp. My daughter explained that she was about to have a laser surgery to cut her tongue to correct the birth defect. Really? Who does that to a kid? I was mad but my daughter blew it off. Anyway, I could go on and on. Compassion and right to have a differing opinion has been scarce. I worry alk the time about the future our kids are going to see. Just keep on doing what you are doing, Stacy! Keep the faith, Sista! I love your blogs and am so glad to see you are back.
Thank you, Anita. I’m sorry you’ve had that struggle. Big hugs from me.
Great point! This is a tough one, although only because we’ve lost all common sense. People without common sense can’t make decisions. They often can’t even SEE what’s working for them, their (our?) focus is so tuned in to what the current cool choice is. It’s pretty normal to feel guilty over what works for us, and apologize to the people around us! What can I say, we’re a bunch of dumb sheep.
P.S. Kale? Definitely bad for you. Look people, it’s pretty, but anything that yucky HAS to be bad for you! …please?
P.P.S. Yes to the chocolate.
I think you’ve been overruled about kale….I mean, I see it on the internet that it’s fabulous stuff. (PS – there isn’t any in my fridge. LOL)
NOOOOOOO, NOT KALE. Really, do REAL people like kale? This is a scary world. Hallelujah, for kale-free fridges. : )
Yes, I think people do eat kale…they make it into chips. But really, kale chips? If I’m gonna eat chips, I’m gonna eat REAL CHIPS.
This is exactly what God has been stirring in my heart lately….thank you for saying it so well 🙂
Well, thank you. I kinda saw it as me standing up on my soap box. Again. Yeah, I think I live here. Maybe I should pitch a tent and get comfy.
The art and wisdom of respectful discourse seems to be slowly eroding away in the growing me-first, quick paced, get-all-your info-in-clever-bit-phrases society.
What’s missing is the common courtesy (called respect – it’s a form of love for others) that assumes that you don’t know everything there is to know about any given subject and that you can’t possibly know the lifetime details of what another individual has experienced that has formed their perspective.
Without the ability or willingness to converse intelligently with each other, our culture and country’s political system will be sliding into more and wasted opportunity to learn and actually do.
To me, being kind IS intelligence. Period.
Oh, but wait! One time on Google, I read all about that subject. So, I know everything I need to know about it. And you’re wrong about it…plain and simple. Wait…what? Oh. Yeah. 😉
Totally agree! Too many otherwise good people harbor the negative spirit of judgment, which can sully one’s testimony to others. I strive each day to “KMMS”, keep my mouth shut….hard to do all the time, I won’t lie LOL
Yeah, sometimes I feel I should invest in duct tape for myself.
I’ve been saying this for years! We all need to remember that we are all INDIVIDUALS. What works for one might not work for another, but it’s not our place to judge! When someone asks me how I do something, I share my process and remind them that what works for me, might not work for them!
Thanks for the reminder Stacey! I love you posts and your sense of humor!
Wait…you caught my humor in this post?! Good for you! 🙂
I totally agree with you Stacey! At the same time my heart is breaking and I’m terrified for my little nephew. He’s immune compromised and right now we have a few cases of measles in our small northern Ontario community. He is only six months old and cannot receive any vaccines until the doctors think his immune system can handle it and he’s also more susceptible to any virus. Measles could be deadly for him, and it’s a disease that should not have been a threat. I don’t think it’s fair that because people choose not to vaccinate their healthy children we are having a new wave of this illness and we could potentially lose this little man. Why is this a godly choice? How is this loving thy neighbour? It all just makes me very sad!
It’s such a very volatile subject right now…but I wasn’t talking specifically about vaccines. I really see this being applied to every single subject these days…down to what type of fabric you should be wearing.
I agree with you! I believe everyone has the right to choose what’s right for their family, but what seems to get lost in the “I’m doing what’s right for me” is those folks who also don’t consider the consequences their actions can have on others. We all should do what’s best for us and our families, but also consider how our actions can impact others and try to mitigate those impacts.
Yes – so much to consider with each decision, you’re right…the problem comes when we think it’s okay to berate someone for their decision. We can disagree…but we don’t have to get nasty about it. 🙂 Thanks for your fabulouso comment.
Amen! I agree!
Thanks, Fanny!
Can I please HUG YOU?? This is the most encouraging and uplifting article I’ve read on this topic. I plan to share this all over the place, because people need to see this! I just love your advice: “What’s best for you and your family? Do that.”
This is SO empowering and encouraging! Thank you Stacy!! <3
Thanks, Jaimie. I’m not a hugger, but I’ll accept one anyway. Ha ha!
Ok, this makes me sad, because if I ever meet you in person I definitely want to hug you! I’m not normally a hugger, either, but . . . yeah. I think you might’ve changed my life 🙂 You’re also one of the few people I’ve never met who I consider a friend. So I might have to hug you and then run the other way 😉
I do accept hugs. LOL 🙂
AMEN! 🙂
Yeehaw!
I love you, Stacy. You always bring perspective! 🙂 Thanks so much!
I always bring dessert too.
I appreciate and can totally relate to this article and point of view and plan on using it in my life and in teaching my children. They have often been made to feel badly by their piers when they are told that something they’ve chosen or our family has chosen is different than what their piers would do. There is little open mindedness being taught and people are so quick to judge differences. Thanks for the refreshing message!
You’re most welcome. 🙂
Amen! If you don’t have something nice to say, keep quiet. I do think some people enjoy being combative in their comments just to make themselves heard! We all need to make choices based on what’s best for our families and ourselves.
I know – I still don’t understand that…I mean, why follow people and get involved in stuff you don’t believe in? Move along.
Total agreement! We as a society have lost our ability to choose our words better or to just keep our mouth shut…. In my opinion (and I state that this is only MY opinion lol), I think all the social media we use has a big part to play in all this. Yes, there are many wonderful things about Facebook,Twitter, texting, etc., BUT it has also caused people, especially a younger generation, to lose the ability to have tact and respect of other people’s feelings. What I mean is, that it is very different to tell someone something not nice over social media than it is to tell that person directly face to face where you see how your words HURT them… where you can see the damage your words have done in their face, emotion, etc. OR even over a phone conversation, where you can hear the hurt in their voice.
I would venture to guess that most people wouldn’t say half the things to someone’s face that they would say online. Let’s be the same, no matter where we are! Unless we’re in our PJs…then we should stay home.
Have been on both sides of this issue…my children are grown now…they only remember if you are kind and that is the most important thing of all …..they will do as you do not as you say ….something to remember
YES – I see my kids doing this all the time. So, I’m constantly preaching to myself to DO what I SAY.
Bravo! To each his/her own, without a doubt. We all have to do what works for us and ours. And that may not work for others and theirs. But that doesn’t make either of us all wrong – or all right. Live and let live!
Thanks…nice name. 🙂
One word…AMEN! I don’t tweet, Facebook, or have cable for this reason. Arguing stinks, with 8 kids I have enough! Want to know how many folks have disagreed with the decisions mentioned above?!?
Wait…kids argue? NO WAY! *Insert crazy looking mom face here*
Great post Stacy! The world would be a much better place if we took that advice! Melissa
Thanks, Melissa. 🙂
Amen,
Aye-aye, cap’n,
and all that.
As always, you are awesome.
Nope – you guys are awesome. I’m just ornery.
I agree. Again, listen to your mother, ” If you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all!!” I do think it’s easy for people to type things they would never say to someone’s face.
Keep the Faith!!
Turns out our moms DID know what they were talking about!
This is the best thing I have read in a long time! Amen to this it is definitely hard enough for our children to grow up in this world not sure why us adults have to make matters that much harder.
I agree – let’s take one thing off our plate.
Amen!
Woohoo!
I don’t know if you ever watch Tim Hawkins, the comedian, but he does a skit on this and it’s hilarious. He concludes that when we get to Heaven that we will find out that trans fats were the healthiest. That, and boogers. That’s why God put our noses right by our mouths. Gross, huh? It’s funny, though, at least when Tim talks about it!
We looooooooooooooooooooove Tim Hawkins! My new favorite thing is The Gift Of No.
Lol…I love it and agree 100%!! We are called to “love one another”. Agree to disagree and move on….that’s my motto!! Have a blessed day Stacy!!
You too, Sherri!
I LOVE this!! My sentiments exactly…now I need to go buy chocolate 😉
I just finished some chocolate chips.