Holy Guacamole!

My husband loves avocados. Annie likes avocados. Me, not so much. The texture is weird. But because I want to keep my husband happy, I buy avocados. I love to buy them when they’re in season and I can get them for $.68 each.  Did you know avocados make guacamole? It’s true! And you thought guacamole could only be bought at the store in the specialty section. Well today we’re going to make it together. It’s so easy you’ll start making it all the time! Your husbands and wives will write me love letters.

To make your own guacamole you need: avocados (DUH!), green onion, cilantro, salsa, mayo, lime juice, cumin, chili powder, and garlic salt. It’s better if you don’t use low fat mayo, but that’s what I had. As we all know, I’m a substitution queen! You don’t have to have the cilantro, but I try to add it to everything I can. Why? Because that’s how I roll.

Do you know how to pick out an avocado? Pick one out that looks really pretty and hold it up to your ear. Shake it around real good and if it sounds like a rattle then it’s a good one.

Ha! Just kidding! That sure would look funny at the grocery store though. You want an avocado that looks nice and gives just a little bit when you apply pressure to it. You want it semi-soft but not mushy. And you don’t want it hard as a rock either.

Well how the heck are we supposed to get into that avocado anyway? I mean, it’s all wrinkly and pruney looking. It’s scary. Do not fear the avocado! Take your knife and slice down through the top of the avocado, as shown. Now, rotate the knife 360 degrees so that you have two equal pieces. With both of your hands, one on each side of avocado, twist until the sides pop apart. Easy! Wasn’t that fun!? You can do it again because you have two avocados.

Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!! What is that hard, round, brown thing in my avocado?! It’s the biggest pit in the history of the world, that’s what. You should be able to just pull it out with your hand. But watch out because that little booger is slippery. You could drop it and let it roll across the floor. Then you’ll have to get down on your hands and knees searching for it. I’ve heard that happens to some people. If you can’t get it out, you can whack it with the blade of your knife, sinking the knife into it and pull it out that way. That scares me though. I don’t want to visit the ER.

To get the meat of the avocado out, take a spoon and insert in right between the flesh and the peeling. Rotate it a little bit and it will come right out of its shell.

Now you need to mash it up in your mixing bowl. You can use whatever you have to mash it. I used a potato masher because it’s fun! Mash, mash, mash! It’s a great stress reliever.

Chop up your green onion and cilantro. You don’t have to make it really small because it gives texture to the guacamole.

Add all your ingredients together and mix until well blended.

Isn’t it pretty? Well, not really. But Barry says it tastes great! Here’s a tip with guacamole. Please eat it fast. It’s actually better if you eat it all the same day. Because guess what? You’ll get a surprise if you don’t. The next day you’ll open the container and it will look like some animal pooped in your dish. Seriously. Eat it all now. And don’t feel guilty about it. After all, you wouldn’t want to waste it would you?