Food - Humorous Homemaking

Christmas Candy – Turtles

***UPDATE: See this post about our new eating habits. (7/10/11)

Today we’re making Christmas Turtle candy – no turtle meat involved. Ew. Some things just aren’t meant to be eaten. This is just about the easiest candy you can make. Seriously. If you guys are looking for something that is more simple than this, I really don’t know what to do for you. Anyone can make these……even those of you who state you cannot boil water. There is no water included in this one! I hope Rebecca and Tracie are reading this – you can now both make Christmas candy! It’s another Christmas miracle!

These are pretty cheap to make. You’ll need mini pretzel twists, Kisses, and peanut M&Ms. These two candies are always on sale at Christmastime…..and let’s face it – pretzels are cheap. They’re tasty and cheap. My favorite!!!! You could also use pretzels in the shape of waffles, but I couldn’t find those this year. Go ahead and unwrap your Kisses…..it’s a good exercise in restraint. I didn’t eat any, but I was chewing a piece of gum. Tropical Fruit Kisses didn’t really appeal to me. [Read more…]

Christmas Candy – Buckeyes

Okay, so this isn’t exactly a “Christmas” candy….but I like it. Any time you pair peanut butter and chocolate together, I’m there in the middle of that. These make great gifts and look wonderful on a Christmas dessert table……if they make it to the table. Sometimes I hide them and just magically find them after the holidays. “Oh well, guess I’ll have to eat these. Bummer.” What is a buckeye anyway? It’s a nut from the buckeye tree. It looks just like this. It’s called this because it resembles, wait for it…………….a buck’s eye. Bet you didn’t see that coming. The buckeye is the state tree of Ohio, but you can enjoy these treats anywhere – and you should. Let’s make ‘em!

Once again, we have a short ingredient list: vanilla, peanut butter, chocolate candy coating, butter, and confectioner’s sugar. I use a lot of candy coating during the holidays. Actually, I just use a lot of candy coating in general. It’s fun. I like having fun in the kitchen. [Read more…]

Christmas Candy – Peppermint Bark

I make this every year at Christmas. It’s not for me though. Personally, I think it’s disgusting. 🙂 However, I am in the minority. Whenever I take it somewhere, I never bring any back. It’s hard to understand people when they’re talking to you and stuffing their mouth with Peppermint Bark at the same time. I have this thing with mint flavor – I hate it. Yep, that about sums it up. Now, this candy is SO easy to make and it is a really good gift for the mailman. You can put it in your mailbox and not worry about it melting at this time of year. We always gift our mailman at Christmas. Anyway, let me show you how to make this and you’ll be shaking your head in amazement at how easy it is….and then you’ll go make a dozen batches.

This is what you need. Peppermints of some sort and white candy coating. That’s it. Recipes with a small ingredient list always intrigue me. I used candy canes because they were on sale (duh) but you could use peppermint disks instead. Also, you can use the green ones if you’re feeling particularly festive. I don’t like those either. Blech! Oh my gosh! I just thought of this – you could use red AND green ones! [Read more…]

Christmas Candy – Chex Caramel Corn

***UPDATE: See this post about our new eating habits. (7/10/11)Today starts a week dedicated to Christmas candy! Everyone loves Christmas candy…..everyone. Seriously, do you know someone who doesn’t? Every day I’ll do a tutorial for one of my favorite Christmas candies. I’m not really sure why they’re called Christmas candy, because really you could eat them any time of the year. I just dude them up to make them look all Christmasy and fancy. So, do not distress! You can eat this stuff all year long. Christmas in July (or January, or April)! Today we’re doing Chex Caramel Corn. I’m still astonished at myself for doing this one as a tutorial. It’s the best Chex mix that I make. I sell a lot of it at Christmas……so it’s like I’m giving away my secret. Count it as your Christmas present. You’re welcome. [Read more…]

Egg Options

There are about a million different ways to cook eggs. Okay, so maybe not a million but there are lots. I’ve already showed you how to make poached eggs and baked eggs. Someone asked me if I’d show how to cook eggs over-easy, so I just decided to tackle the rest of the ways that I like to serve eggs: over-easy, sunny side up, over medium, and boiled. I won’t talk about scrambled eggs, because almost everyone knows how to make those…..right? So, let’s get crackin’. Ha, ha! Get it? Come on….that was funny. [Read more…]

Mama’s Homemade Syrup

*UPDATE – See this post about our new eating habits.(7/10/11)

This is the best syrup in all the ENTIRE world! Holy moly. I could drink it with a straw……but I’m pretty sure that would wind me up in the ER. Nix that. Anyway, it’s good stuff. Sometimes Barry’s mom gives it to me and then I give her a big hug. I think she’s buttering me up to make her a Coconut Pie. Butter me up baby! When I was growing up, my mom always made her syrup. No, we didn’t go out and tap a tree in the front yard…….she made it using sugar and flavoring. I loved it then and I love it still.

My sister didn’t eat it though. She would only eat Aunt Jemima. I think my Grandma had something to do with that……she would make Aunt Jemima talk. Grandma’s are really good for spoiling your kids so they only eat certain things. Just ask my cousin, Robbie. Yeah, I know it’s pure sugar and not the real thing, but it’s still yummy. And easy! Plus, it’s nice to know this recipe in case you run out of syrup and need something for your pancakes on a cold morning when you don’t want to run to the grocery store. You really should stockpile syrup though. It’s a necessity, like toilet paper. So, let’s learn how to make our own syrup just like my Mama makes! [Read more…]

Homemade Macaroni and Cheese

Let me just put it out there – I like boxed macaroni and cheese. Yes, I do. I love it in all its powdery goodness. I realize that powdered cheese probably freaks some of you out. If I think about it for long periods of time, it starts to freak me out. So, try this – don’t think. It really helps. Homemade macaroni and cheese, and I’m not talking about using Velveeta here folks, will blow a boxed mix out of the water. After you’ve had it, you’ll wonder why you still keep going back to the box. Well, I keep going back to the box because I get it so cheap……better than going back to the bottle I guess. Anyway, making it is so easy. Everyone will be impressed when you tell them you made your macaroni and cheese from SCRATCH! My father-in-law says that he loves scratch because it is good for making all sorts of things. So, let’s impress some friends, shall we? [Read more…]

Apple Pie Crunch

***UPDATE: See this post about our new eating habits. (7/10/11)

I make a lot of snack mix. A LOT. Seriously……a lot. I make it for gifts, for potlucks, for car trips, for dessert. There are only about a zillion different types to make. My favorite is Chex Caramel Corn, but that recipe is to follow sometime this Christmas season. Have I mentioned that I make a lot of snack mix? I used a Chex recipe and tweaked it a little bit to come up with this one, using things I had at home. The best part about this recipe is that it’s made in the microwave! Even better, the next few times you use your microwave after this, it will still smell like Apple Pie. It’s a holiday miracle! [Read more…]

How to Make Homemade Bagels – Pumpkin Spice

***UPDATE – See this post about our new eating habits. (7/10/11)

I love bagels…..something about a toasted bagel just makes me happy. I love getting bagels from bakeries, but ya know sometimes I don’t feel like going out just to get a bagel. That would mean I’d have to put something on besides my PJs. Some days, that just ain’t happening. Can I get a witness?! Homemade bagels make the ones in the store taste like shoe leather. It’s really not that hard to make homemade bagels, it just takes a little bit of time – just like anything you use with yeast. I LOVE baking with yeast. It’s so magical and bubbly…..and smelly. But smelly in a good way – not like with socks. [Read more…]

Stacy’s Caramel Biscuits

*UPDATE – See this post about our new eating habits.(7/10/11)

One Sunday morning I was sitting in church and happened to look up to see a Hardee’s sign. It said “NOW SERVING NEW CARAMEL BISCUITS!” Say what? Do you know that my concentration went out the window? All I could think about was a caramel biscuit. How could that NOT be heaven on a plate? I don’t even remember if I clapped my hands or put something in the offering….I was in a trance. So, of course I had to inquire about this phenomenon. I asked on Facebook if anyone had tried one. I got several responses….some liked them, some hated them. And then came the challenge. “Stacy, you could make something better than that.” CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! It’s like getting double-dared in school; you have to do it….you won’t sleep until you do it. All the kids will call you a weenie. I am not a weenie – I made the caramel biscuit. And I was right – it IS heaven on a plate. So, here’s Stacy’s version of the Hardee’s Caramel Biscuit. [Read more…]