I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (because repetition is the best form of learning), cheap and frugal are not the same thing. You can be cheap and not be frugal – and you can be frugal and not be cheap. I do have the tendency to be cheap with some things…but for the most part, I consider myself frugal. My parents have said that I’m tighter than Dick’s hatband, so I still sometimes have to tell my cheapness to take a hike. I want to save money, but I don’t want to be too cheap. Got it?
But what about you? Are you cheap or are you frugal? I’ll just go ahead and say that frugal is a better characteristic to have. If you are cheap, you can break free from that – just start small – see if you can buy something higher in price and quality with CASH without falling into the floor and foaming at the mouth. I am willing to set up email counseling sessions where I can walk you through this process and be your drill sergeant. SIR, YES SIR!
PS – This is a funny post. If you’re offended, sorry about that…please keep in mind, I’m also poking fun at myself. 😉
10 Signs You’re CHEAP Instead of FRUGAL:
1. You attempt to wash and reuse Kleenex (store brand of course) instead of investing in hankies.
Are you done blowing your nose now? You know what to do with that Kleenex, young man and I better not find it in the trash again! You’re a boy, so you should really learn how to go out into the yard and do snot rockets when you have to take care of business. Yes, I’m talking to YOU.
2. You monitor toilet paper usage.
HEY! I know you’re in there! ONE SQUARE I SAID! I counted those this morning, young lady and I will KNOW if you have your frivolous three squares! Do you think this stuff grows on TREES!?
3. You can read the Sunday paper through your toilet paper.
It is ridiculous to invest in two-ply tissue. Do these people think I’m made of money?! The whole toilet paper industry is in cahoots and attempting to invade my nest egg. It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya!
4. You attempt to dry your clothes quickly in the microwave instead of using the dryer for an emergency underwear situation.
Who needs underwear anyway? I will not be using the dryer today, thank you very much! If you wanted panties, you should have washed them yourself. Go commando – it’s very freeing. Or just wear them wet and don’t sit down. Yeah – try that.
5. You make friends with the people who own the land BEHIND the drive-in movie theater.
Hi! So nice to meet you! Let’s be friends! I love your back yard…it’s so nice and spacious! Oh wow! Is that the MOVIES?! How cool! Let’s watch. I’ll be back Friday night with popcorn.
6. You try to brew five pots of coffee from one set of grounds.
Come on baby! Give me one more pot! I know you have it in you! Yes, you’re starting to turn white but push through! I need you! I’ll never let go!
7. You visit 50 grocery stores all in one day to get the best deals on everything because Kroger has that for $.02 less.
Dude – that butter is $.02 cheaper at Food-A-Holics. How dare they try to charge me $.02 extra here. I am going to take myself down there right now and get my butter. I need to stop for gas too – and a burger at the drive-thru. But GOSH! $.02 higher! Sheesh. Robbers.
8. You keep everything that breaks because you’re convinced that one day there will be a use for it and you’ll make millions…like dead batteries.
Blasted batteries – keep dying. I guess I’ll add these to my 40 totes downstairs. Eventually there is going to be a use for all these dead batteries and I’ll be a millionaire. Guess who will be laughing then, buster! And when there is a market for snot – trillionaire! Wahooooooo!
9. You make your kids wear bubble wrap clothing when playing outside so they won’t get hurt and possibly have to be taken to the ER where you’ll have to pay a deductible.
Kids – come here and put on your bubble pants. Yes, I know it’s 90 degrees outside but this bubble wrap will protect you from the sunlight AND from any cuts or bruises you might encounter. We don’t want to take a trip to the ER do we? They charge like $50 for a band-aid there. Say what? You broke your arm? ‘Tis merely a flesh wound. Shake it off!
10. You crash weddings to get free food and you don’t take a gift.
Dude, I saw there is going to be a wedding reception down at the Moose Lodge – bet they’ll have free sandwiches and cake. I had meatloaf on the meal plan, but a free meal is way better. What’s our story this time? We were friends in college, but they don’t remember because it was blacked out due to lack of sleep – we lived down the hall and shared the bathroom. Got it.
How do YOU define frugal?
A very cheap friend of mine had his elderly fathers stove break. He went to Wally World and bought his dad a plug in burner of some sort and had his father switch to microwave meals. This was 2 years ago and his father’s stove is still broken. Seems like something you could report to social services.
I consider myself frugal but in accordance with your above regulations: I’m cheap.
Toilet paper is money that is LITERALLY flushed down the toilet. I proudly buy one to two packs of Dollar Tree brand each month. And I have actually put a limit on sheet uses- six per visit is plenty. And that’s a vast improvement, I have been known to use the rinse and rub system when times are tight.
Coffee I have a much better excuse: good coffee’s meant to be brewed more than once. Honest! Working at a posh coffee house in London I was taught that good coffee can be brewed up to four times- and it can! It’s incredibly hard to find here in the states (even the fancy coffee stands rarely use it- hence the ‘multiple shots’ pricing) but it is out there!
And I refuse to use the microwave to flash dry undies: electricity costs. I wear my fella’s when I run out :S
“Proud Cheapy” signing off.
Ha ha! I haven’t worn Barry’s underwear except to sleep in. Bahahahahaha! 🙂
I accidentally double brewed coffee grounds one morning. I do not recommend it. It tastes like cigarettes smell.
Opposite issue here with TP monitoring, I’m forever begging my son to use more than 4 sheets when he goes, it’s just disgusting!
LOL Oh heavens – that really made me laugh!
you could microwave undies???? lol
If you have a microwave. LOL
Hilarious! I used to be guilty of #8 until I kicked the pack rat habit 🙂 Visiting from Fellowship Friday.
We’ve kicked our pack rat habit too – feels nice. 🙂
oh my!! I grew up with a Father who wouldn’t let us use more than 3 squares of toilet paper, would scold us for standing there with the fridge door open (that just cost 10 cents!! ), and would turn out the light in the room we were in if he didn’t see us there. Grateful for my appreciation of the cost of things and tips on how to save money in a squeeze. But having myself a very rebellious adulthood 😉 Ha!
LOL Yeah – I can see why.
Guilty of #8! So many broken toys that ‘are still good, they just need a bit of glue’ and batteries! My husband draws the line at cheap toilet paper–he likes the cushy stuff.
Batteries! BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Believe it or not, I went to the ladies’ room at the train station in Rome, Italy . .. and was HANDED toilet paper at the entrance!
Wow – that’s hard core.
Believe it or not, I had to BUY toilet paper in Guatemala City when I was suffering from Montezuma’s Revenge, and hadn’t a minute to lose! 🙁
LOL I’m so guilty of toilet paper monitoring – not quite like you mentioned, but definitely monitoring. won’t be able to do it again without cracking up (since I’ll be remembering this post every time!)
Now I’m in your head. 🙂
Oh dear this was hilarious! Seriously though (well sort of) have you seen that show extreme chapskates?!? Some of those people are downright CRAY-ZAY! 🙂
No – we’re so FRUGAL we don’t have cable. LOL LOL
Stacy, this post is awesome 🙂 As usual, you crack me up! 😀
🙂 Good.
Haha! I love this! Way too funny. I am definitely guilty of the batteries. I have an entire Ziploc bag of dead batteries. Why? I actually have no idea why. 🙂
Throw ’em out girl…space is precious. 🙂
I loved this Stacy! I was afraid I would see myself. lol!
My Mom would save burned-out light bulbs.
On Christmas our toys had to run on “D” batteries because that’s what we already had (half dead) for the flash lights.
Oh, sweet childhood memories! lol!
Linda
They’re the best kind of memories. 🙂
We moved into a house that had belonged to an elderly woman. There were probably 20 3-way lights in a cupboard that had the brightest filament burned out but the others were intact. We used them because then I didn’t have to buy any 🙂
That’s smart right there.
That’s too funny. I am trying to learn to be frugal. but I draw the line at my toilet paper. I have to have my Sam’s Club Knock Off Charmin. LOL I finally figured out how to post your button on my site. Yeah Me! Keep on doin what you do. <3 Kim http://www.mammy2grammy.wordpress.com
Yeah – Barry isn’t cool with cheap TP.
Great post Stacy!!!!
It was so nice to have a good laugh this morning!
Have a great day. 🙂
🙂 I’m always good for a laugh!
LOL.. thanks for the laugh today 😀
🙂 You’re welcome! Laughter is the best way to start the day!
LOL! OMG(olly-gee-whiz) that was funny…..was hysterical with #7–the $.02 cheaper item…..guilty as charged–once upon a time
thanks for the humorous boost to my day! ;0)
Psalm 126:2: Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”
Job 8:21: He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.
🙂 Thanks for the Bible references – I always love hearing the Word.
I LOVE THIS POST! Yes, I have to admit, I’m frugal sometimes, but I’m also cheap sometimes. Can I sign up for boot camp, please 😀
You want me to knock you into shape? 😉
Absolutely!!! 😀
Sign up!
Lol! I loved the toilet paper counting one! I actually d that, but am generous at 4 squares and it is 2 ply. 😉
Wow – don’t get crazy now.
Love it! I would add… if you are cheap you bring your biggest purse with you every time you visit a restaurant so you can stock up on salt, ketchup, sugar, napkins and straws.
LOL LOL Oh my goodness.
what fun and great post!! Thanks Stacy for a laugh!!
🙂 That’s my job!
Excuse me, but microwaving your undies is not the best way to go. Iron them dry instead!!! 😀
That takes wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy too long. lol
hahaha this made me giggle 🙂
Good. 🙂 That’s what it was supposed to do.
🙂 THankfully, I am NOT cheap according to this list!
I could have told ya that. 🙂
HaHa!! Thank you for the laugh this morning! But really – I have 2 boys and getting them to blow their noses is tough. I might have to suggest they try snot rockets! I love that!!!
Hey – you’ll go through less tissues or hankies!
My husband was the one who told me to stop buying the one ply toilet paper 🙂
Smart man. Smart man.