Today I’m going to rant. I’m going to be politically incorrect. I’m going to make a lot of you extremely angry (the comments should be fun to read). I’ve heard too many people whining and complaining about how bad they have it and how hard life is. I’ve heard people give me excuse after excuse of why they can never get ahead financially and how “the man” is always putting them down. Come on, people – get with it. Life is going to happen. Life sometimes sucks (apologies to those of you who don’t like that word). Life isn’t fair, and isn’t supposed to be. For those of you who have decided to let life happen and whine about it instead of doing something to make it better, this post is dedicated to you. Without further ado, I give you: 10 reasons you’re destined to stay broke.
- You’ve decided “budget” is a bad word – If you have given up on trying to control your finances by doing a budget, you’ve allowed your finances to take control of you. If you’re not the master, you’re the slave.
- You’re trying to keep up with the Jones’s – I encourage everyone I counsel to look at the Jones’s, and then RUN in the opposite direction. The Jones’s are broke, or earn so much more money than you ever will. …And they spend every penny of it, too!
- You can’t say “no” – You need to say “no” much more often than you need to say “yes” in your financial life. If you can’t put the brakes on when it comes to your spending and discipline yourself to live within your means, no wonder you’re broke.
- You’ve never been told “no” – Just like you need to say “no” quite a bit, you also need to hear it. If you’ve never been told “no” when it comes to money, this means you’ve been blinded into thinking money grows on trees.
- You think the government will fix your problems – You knew this one had to be on the list. I don’t care if it is a Democrat or Republican in office, my general stance is every one of them needs a massive stamp on his/her forehead that says, “I’m in charge of the government and I can’t do math.” If you think the government is the solution to your problem, then I am probably paying my tax dollars so you can be broke…and poor.
- You feel like you “deserve a break” – There are too many people taking a break and too few paying attention to what’s going on around them. Many are too busy taking a break to even know what’s going on in their families! Don’t take a break until some work gets done.
- Finding someone to blame is more important than finding a solution – We all know people like this. They don’t care what goes wrong as long as there is someone to blame it on. I don’t want to blame someone for my problems; I want to find solutions to my problems. If you’re only looking to blame, you’re wasting a lot of effort.
- You love money – 1 Timothy 6:10. Need I write more?
- You think every rich person is evil – I’m not sure what you define as rich, but if someone’s being rich makes them evil, you may ought to think on that for a moment. There are plenty of greedy, terrible people out there that get rich off the misfortune of others. There are also plenty of hard-working, diligent people who work their tails off and make a fortune through those efforts, helping everyone around them along the way. Don’t decide that just because someone’s bank account is larger than yours they didn’t work to earn it.
- You’ve decided Christmas is all about gifts – Christmas is all about THE gift, Jesus Christ. The moment you decide Christmas is about anything else, you’ve missed the point so badly that you might as well skip the holiday.
Shew, I think my rant is over. If I offended you, I’m sure you’ll tell me about it. *this should be interesting* My final thought before turning it over to you: I used the word BROKE very much on purpose. Broke is fixable. Broke isn’t necessarily poor (“poor” is a state of mind, “broke” is not having money), but if you stay broke and don’t do something about it, you’re on your way to becoming poor…and that’s a DANGEROUS place to be.
I agree with everything He wrote..and could add more! Great Post!
I agree with everything you are saying. I just have to disagree a little. I don’t think poor is a mindset. My husband works very hard to provide an income so I can stay at home. He make 500.00 a week and we have 5 children ages 20-8. The 20 year old has a part-time job and is going to college. We came across a check stub from 2004 and his income was 485.00 a week all those years ago. Yes, he has had raises but the company keeps raising our insurance contribution over 4 % each year. This in and of itself has eaten any raises. We heat with wood, have no cable, shop thrift stores, shop at Aldi for all of our food, make my own cleaning solutions, use Kerosene lamps for lighting, make our bread and other meals from scratch, drive vehicles that are almost 20 years old. I’ve used cloth with all my children and we have rarely eat out. Christmas is one gift for each child and one homemade. The purchased gift is usually under 20. Insurance, taxes, gasoline and just the necessities eats up our income. Now with the “wonderful” Obama care we had to go to the basic insurance coverage because we couldn’t afford the higher premium at my husband’s job. We have your e-book and they all pretty much say the same. When you have never had a generous income to buy things you don’t need, it’s a little hard to cut out or sell those things. Everything in our home has either been given to us from family, picked up at garage sales, or we have dumpster dived. We have always had a written budget and I know where every cent goes…..and it goes to the same 12 things it has always gone to: Tithe, House, Insurance, Taxes, Electric, Phone, Internet (for school), Gas (for water heater), Water, Food, Gasoline, and Misc. I don’t think the government should pay for anything I want. I don’t think budget is a bad word. I’ve told myself and my children no so many times they already know and don’t really ask anymore. I don’t deserve a break, I’ve been given GRACE. I don’t blame anyone for my life. I don’t think rich people are evil, they just used their smarts and made a nice living. Christmas is about Jesus and not about gifts………Christmas is really about the cross; the point of Christmas is Easter.
I know it’s been almost 2 yrs since you wrote this comment, just wanted to say, I understand. We have nine children, 3 still at home. My husband works hard to provide and God has always been faithful to supply all our needs. Dave Ramsey would probably encourage my husband to get an additional part time job, but he is not willing to give up family time and neither of us believe I should work. We have cut almost every corner. Sometimes, you just have to be content not to be rich, but not to be in debt either.
When I was in my early 20s I had someone tell me that broke just meant you that you had the potential to earn. I’m much older than you guys and this is often my concern when I look at younger, married couples. Your list hits home because of this as I see people who lament their life, but aren’t moving in the direction of making changes in their habits or mindsets.
if I need not mince my words, the article is like writing to the poor how not to become poorer. Well written no doubt, but wouldn’t it be more life changing to teach them how to become rich. To be able to afford but not need is very different from cannot afford so cannot need.
Hey Buck, thanks for this feedback. I’m always willing to take an opposing view, as long as it points the conversation in a positive direction. Thanks for “disagreeing without being disagreeable.” I’ve written several times on “how to become richer” – this article was borne out of my disgust for those who make poor choices, discover they’re making poor choices and whine about it instead of doing something useful to try and solve it. To read some tips on how to become richer, check out http://www.stacymakescents.com/how-to-invest-when-in-debt, http://www.stacymakescents.com/money-tips-ten-years-ago, http://www.stacymakescents.com/simple-ways-to-make-the-most-of-your-income…just to name a few. 🙂
People need to hear the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts (you ain’t hurting me, though since I totally agree). Thank you for proclaiming truth to the world. People just don’t want to do the hard thing to change their ways and reign in their spending. Well said, and Amen!
Love this post! Thank you for posting and sharing it!
I LOVE this! One of our sons fits this almost perfectly, and it breaks my heart; but we a committed to not being part of the solution, at least not with money. The only debt we have is our mortgage, which is our primary effort at this time. We park my 11-year-old Explorer, Beauty, right next to our friends’ new sedans and SUVs, and smile as we think of the fact that we wrote only one check for ours! I find it exciting to figure out creative uses for leftovers and scraps of wood we’ve stored in our workshop. Thank you for your work in the area of debt-free living.
I couldn’t agree more. I agree 100% with everything you said. My husband and I have been working hard to save money this past year. I’ve taken up couponing and cut our budget from $400 a month on groceries to $150 and the money we’ve saved we’ve put into a savings account! We tightened our belts and we stopped going out to eat so much and used the crockpot, many Stacy recipes! We’ve paid off some debts and then realized hey we were living without that $ so lets put that into savings too… Now that Christmas is here we’ve decided to buy 1 gift for the both of us – something we can both enjoy and that will be all. So many Christmas pasts we’ve bought each other useless junk and it ended up in the closet or in the car to goodwill. We spent all of $200 on Christmas combined for our gift. And I’m happy to report we put over $4,500 in our savings account this year from the coupon savings and paying off some debts! Reading stacymakescents this past few years has changed our way of thinking. Thank you so much! Keep it up because people NEED to realize the only way you can change is to take a hard look at yourself and your spending habits. Next year I hope to get more debts paid off and save even more money! Our goal is to be debt free and hopefully within 5-6 years pay cash for a home! 🙂 We’ll have our car paid off next year, two large debts and an IRS debt. All that money we’ve been living without anyway will go straight into savings! I’m so excited to see it grow and grow! 🙂
Great Post! Couldn’t agree with you more! 🙂 Merry Christmas to you & your family.
Didn’t hurt my feelings. You are on point!
Or NO comments haha! I love Dave Ramsey we’ve read up on it and agree with these things! It’s always nice to be reminded sometimes of what we should he doing!! We are however, guilty, our Christmas does revolve around our kids and gifts, but it definitely comes second to our lessons and praise. First things first!! 🙂 We try to incorporate it in their lives throughout the year not only around the holidays. And hopefully at least some of it us sinking into those brains!
I actually had a LOT of comments, just decided not to moderate them until now because I feared they’d all be negative. HA! Apparently my rant was motivational to several, a “sermon to the choir” for others, and the haters have just gotten mad and left without comment. ;0) I responded because I love what you said…FIRST THINGS FIRST!
hope you can take opposing views.
Hey Buck, thanks for this feedback. I’m always willing to take an opposing view, as long as it points the conversation in a positive direction. Thanks for “disagreeing without being disagreeable.” I’ve written several times on “how to become richer” – this article was borne out of my disgust for those who make poor choices, discover they’re making poor choices and whine about it instead of doing something useful about it. To read some tips on how to become richer, check out http://www.stacymakescents.com/how-to-invest-when-in-debt, http://www.stacymakescents.com/money-tips-ten-years-ago, http://www.stacymakescents.com/simple-ways-to-make-the-most-of-your-income…just to name a few. 🙂
Amen! I figure you should here from those of us agree too!
I appreciate your brutal honesty. My husband and I need to work at saving money, because we always seem to spend it as soon as we get it and we should have more saved but we never do. I’ve been really cracking down with what are truly needs and wants, but everytime I bring up a budget my husband says he doesn’t think we should ‘go without.’ I tell him we’re not, we’d just keep in budget. I’d love to see a financial advisor one day and lay it on all the table, because what we do isn’t working and we’re both unhappy with it. I do admit it’s our fault but I don’t want everything to keep falling thru the cracks and be a family that makes good money, but has nothing to show for it….
That “I don’t want to do without” mentality is how I grew up. My parents overspent on us in the name of never having us want for much of anything. I appreciate that they sacrificed for us to “have it all” but now I watch my mom work to make up for it for herself. Set those priorities (budget) and stick to it – it will make a BIG difference in a few years.
Amen, brother! Tough love is still love. (Ephesians 4:15).
So much wisdom here! Thank you!
you forgot want vs need
If we live on a budget, wants and needs should always be in the right order…but you’re right, this item is definitely big enough to be its own! MOST (not many, but MOST) don’t do very well at identifying the difference between needs, wants and wishes. This is something I was taught very young and is the foundation of every budget I help someone prepare.
I think you are being too nice and not direct enough here. I know people who live with the mind set of ‘if you have it, spend it/use it’ with no forward thinking. That applies to how much is ‘available’ according to a bank balance or credit card limit or less obvious resources such as paid time off. They spend/use until they are ‘broke’ then complain
they have nothing for needs. They live in a vicious cycle of numbers 1, 3 and 5 in your post. I would modify number 5 to include turning to family and friends over and over. They rely on others instead of learning to wisely use the resources they have. I learned a lot of this the hard way; thankfully, I get it now. Sadly, I know you can talk and try to help out all you want, but some people just will not get it and will not change their ways. Out of preservation for my own financial health and mental well being I
have learned to say no. I hope your post reaches people who can be helped and
encourages others like me who too often were the help.
AMEN!!!!
Our best friends are always “broke,” but they can afford Starbucks at least once per day…I just don’t understand. If people are offended, they need to take a long look at themselves!
You hit it right on! Get off your buns! Work a full day, even if it is min wage. Save a certain %. Put time into best deals, coupons, search prices, say NO to yourself and kids! Save for that “thing” you think you want/need. By the time you have the money, you will be glad you did not get it! Don’t think that Uncle O or anyone else will take care of you! The well is running dry. Karen Kitt geels
This is So true, especially the bit at the end about christmas (the real reason for the season). I also loved the bit about being broke, and how it’s not a permanent state, and you can change it. God bless you and hope to see more informative postings. Merry Christmas to you and yours
Amen!! My fav part is about Christmas and the real gift.
Hopefully anyone who needs it will take the help offered and learn to control their own life.
I totally agree! Got to roll up my sleeves and start working hard on these pointers. Question though: what if the husband grew up spending lots on clothes eating out in other words enjoying it all(he worked since 14) and the wife grew up opposite; buying clearance looking for sales eating out rarely. Its hard sometimes because while i am trying hard to save as much as we can, he will go and buy a pair of running shoes for $90. Then i feel like my efforts aren’t worth much. We talk about it and he agrees but i guess its hard for him to say no to the lifestyle he grew up in. I need some wise advise.
Check out this article as a starting point: http://www.stacymakescents.com/using-money-to-show-your-spouse-real-love
I also wrote a few others under the heading of “Marriage and Money”. Check those out (alphabetically listed in the index under “The Husband”).
I agree. Many people (myself included) need to hear parts or all of this. Thank you for sharing your rant!
I will say I LOVE this. I have taken in my 16 yr old niece who is pregnant and I am trying to teach these qualities to her as I have my children. I am trying to teach her the difference of NEED and WANT. that the needs are food clothing(not name brand) and shelter. If those things are taken care of first and you have money left over take half of what is left over and put it in savings then the other half that is left put a quarter to tithing (or charity) and the rest is hers to spend on her wants or save. (I prefer save). I am also trying to teach her how to save money by planning meals using weekly sales papers and coupons only for the things she will use. Just because you have a coupon does not mean you will use the item you are purchasing. I love your blog and I am so glad you were brave enough to post this!!! best wishes to you and yours 🙂
Barry,
I agree with you wholeheartedly! You cannot have everything you have to give up things to get ahead in the long run. We gave up alot to get out of debt and pay off our house and because of this we have been able to enjoy alot now as we have no debt and still have no debt.
Thank you for being brutally honest, there needs to be more honesty out there right now.
I love this!! My husband and I realized we really suck at delayed gratification and that’s why our finances suck, too. Thanks for the kick in the pants – we are actually really trying to get out of debt and this reminds me that debt is in our control!
Oh Stacy, I personally love this! Listen lady friend, as someone who’s BEEN on the other side of that fence ( not exactly the same, but I had shopping issues), let me tell you- you’re right! I never thought I was “owed” anything by anyone, and always worked for myself since age 15, paying for everything I had, including cars, clothes and food. Yet, when a financial crisis hit me, I started feeling sorry for myself, then I realized that had I not spent every penny I had for years, regardless that I was earning it myself ( which was always my excuse), then I might have had some savings to fall back on. I’m just now coming out of ” the black hole” I call it, but the debt I occurred during those years is quite shameful, however now I own it and don’t pity myself on it. Life happens, but I finally learned how powerful God is, whether we’re broke or not, and that we shouldn’t focus our lives on “accumulating”, but instead, being satisfied with what we’ve got. I’m may be a health nut and like nice things, but I’m no snob to shopping at Walmart, online to get better deals, and not buying my clothes from the mall anymore. At the end of the day, paying my bills, having food on my plate, and being able to buy my family Christmas for the first time in 4 years is a blessing enough.
I love this post and think you’re exactly right! Amen sister!:)
well said, I’m so tired of people acting like children when it comes to being fiscally responsible and endlessly complaining and blaming everyone else
you figure those who love money would want the security of having it stockpiled in their bank accounts!?
You’d think…and there are those types out there. However, usually it is those who “love money” who are greedy to the utmost and yet can never seem to pile up money (hmmmm…wonder why that might be?!). ;0)
I think you said it all very well. Too many of us are living paycheck to paycheck without any thought for our future. To a lot of us, the future is just that: the future. It’s such a long way off, I’ll start saving tomorrow. Right now, though, I want this new flat screen TV. Want want want. There’s an old saying, “If you always buy what you want, you’ll never have enough for what you need.” Another good one is “Pay yourself first,” meaning put SOMETHING from each paycheck in your retirement account before you pay for anything else. We need to learn to have some respect for money, and for the blood, sweat and tears it takes to earn it. We also need to educate our children better about budgeting and saving, and about being more frugal. Most Americans have so much “stuff” that we need storage space! I don’t know of any other culture that requires attics, basements, oversized garages and rented storage units for their “stuff.” One more thing, then I’ll quiet down. Credit cards are killing us, because they feed our “want want want” addiction. Credit has become a way of life for millions of us because it’s so much faster and easier than saving for something and paying cash. Faster and easier = broke.
You tell them Barry! Too many people like to complain but don’t like to take action and fix things. Being broke can be a state of mind as well. As in “I know I don’t have the money, but those shoes (or whatever) are so cute and they are on sale right now”. That doesn’t get you any further ahead than the other 10 things you posted 🙂
Love this!!
My friend, YOU HAVE HIT THIS DEAD-ON. I could not agree with you more!
You are so right we make ourselves miserable and we are the only ones that can fix it but to easy to blame others. I have cut way back this year for Christmas but we had too not going to get in debt anymore than I already am.
This is right on! Thank you.
I couldn’t agree more!!! I need to learn to say NO more! We have money, live almost debt free, house, land, and vehicles are paid for and credit cards are paid in full each month. We just like to shop! And that is preventing us from coming home and staying (my husband has a well paying job, but he travels 10-11 months out of the year – and we travel with him.) I need to stop the leak but stopping all of the extras that add up VERY Quickly!
You weren’t offensive.., and I am the first to say that I have been guilty of some of the above: mostly #3 and #4. However I have grown and wisdom has taken up residence. A budget is a wonderful tool and has really helped to steered me on the ‘getting out of debt’ track which I can say.., I’ve done magnificently. At 40 the only debt I have is $3000 left on a car loan. And I choose to have that because it helps my credit score (my opinion), since I don’t have any other to report. I don’t have hundreds of thousands in the bank but I am proud to say I can write a $500 check to my sister if she needs help and wouldn’t miss the money. I think differently when it comes to retirement and college funds. My retirement plan is to head back to South America to live (very cheap to live back home) and I brought my boys up to know that I am here to help them through college I am not that bank that pays for it. I have never even bought a cell phone for either of my boys, the 19 year old got a job at 16 and paid for his own, the 11 year old is too young to work. 🙂
My oldest is already on his own, working and going to school and I don’t pay for any of that. I do help him in certain ways such as for Christmas or Birthday presents I will buy him clothes and shoes so he doesn’t spend his money on that and when I go over to visit I would take treat bags that are filled with toiletries or laundry detergent, toilet paper, linen, that sort of thing. He’s 19 and has both a checking and an online savings account (which he can’t access through an ATM). Personally, coming from a poor country where I was taught that you can’t live like a banker on a farmers income has been a great tool for me. I did stray away when I came to this beautiful country to live and I paid the consequences dearly but I must say.., lesson learned and if I can do it as a single mother with no child support coming in and no family to turn to.., anyone can do it. The will is there…
Woohoo!! Preach it! (I clap as you step down off your soap box.)
I am slowly trying to get out of debt and agree with all you have said. Keep the rants coming. Se will either be challenged to grow or find anotjer reason to complain and avoid the issue, while they go round n round in that cycle.
Love it!!
Thank you!
Hi Barry & Stacy,
I read your news letter each & every time it comes in, you would know how often that is. I like what you say and understand where you are coming from, I’m a retired veit. vet on a disability pension, but I’ve had a long & varied road to travel in my life, I can’t remember ever saying I was broke, there’s been many times that I had no money and never dreamed of being “rich” the one thing in life I tressure the most is my loving family, as a child I grew up in an SDA family, & your views are very much the same.
Regards
I totally agree with you, about 5 yrs ago I started looking at the big picture and we started paying off debt, downsized, then early this year started to get rid of those pesky why do I pay this every month bills. We own used cars 15 yrs or older that are paid off, got rid of cell phones, cable, just plain cut back on everything. Everything but our home is paid.Being almost debt free is amazing, if we have it we own it, if we can’t pay cash then we either save up for it or just plain do not purchase it. We have tried to teach all our children the same, our older two are out on their own and for the most part have learned well and are putting this to practice.
Amen sister. Amen.
Well said!
Ouch! So true, Stacy!
Tell it like it is girl……
We really want to get to a place where we dont struggle all the tine. Your rant did not offend us but made us want to get to a place where we are no longer a debtor but are doing better. Thank You
🙂 I’ll consider it my motivational speech to you for this season. 🙂
All I have to say is AMEN!!
Amen! Thank you Stacy for speaking (writing) the truth!