As a dad of four young kids, I’m in awe of what it takes to be a mom. I’m definitely not capable of doing what most of you moms out there accomplish. I regularly tell people that Stacy is a superhero…and I mean it. But here’s the thing, ladies – you are way too hard on yourself. Every mom fail matters!
However, using someone’s cheery social media feed as your standard, you’ve decided that you can’t measure up and that you’re a complete disaster. In doing that, you’ve set an unrealistic expectation that you literally will never be able to live up to.
Here’s the thing: we need you to fail.
We need you to fail, to falter, to mess up, and then get up and try again. Your kids need to see the difficult days and watch you persevere through them. Mom fail does not equal failing your kids. Your husband needs to hear you complain about a challenging day and how you made it through. And side note: husbands, when she does this – just listen. She doesn’t want you to fix it. Trust me on this.
John Maxwell wrote, in Beyond Talent, “There are two kinds of people in this world: those who want to get things done and those who don’t want to make mistakes.” Moms, we desperately need you to make mistakes because, whether you realize it or not, you are primarily the ones getting things done in the world today. If it weren’t for your mom fails, we would not be where we are today.
I don’t want to be negative toward men, or toward women who aren’t moms. I have a biased perspective. However, consider this (because you know this is true): once a mom has decided to get something done, stand back – ain’t nothin’ gonna stop her! Give her some coffee, and promise her some chocolate and a nap later, and she can move mountains!
Be encouraged.
You are an amazing group of ladies who are literally changing the world every day as you pour into your families and find out how strong you are through the challenges you overcome. You need to mess up your kids just enough where they almost need therapy.
We need your burned dinners, your failed Pinterest crafting attempts, your chaos, your sometimes-crazy ideas, and yes, even your occasional “emotional release” (a.k.a. uncontrollable crying fit).
Why? Because we need you.
We need you to show up, and to love us. You are the teachers to our next generation. We need your innovation. Your generosity and selflessness are an example to us all. We need your friendship. And know that it is possible to survive busy seasons without losing your mind.
We need you more than we ever have.
Becky says
Thanks. I needed to hear that.
…stink! I’m not a “crier”, so why are my eyes burning…?!?
Catharine says
My heart just grew a size. Like the Grinch. 🙂
Annette says
Thanks Barry – this is so appreciated!
Julie says
Hi Barry! You’re such a good father and husband – your family is blessed to have you. And thanks for the encouragement today!
Barry says
Awww…shucks. 🙂 Thanks, Julie!
Carolyn Black says
Thank you!! You are a lot like my own husband and I appreciate your insight and constructive comments. I fail everyday at some point, but each day gives me the opportunity to do one thing better than I did the day before.