Post by Barry Myers
My busiest time of year as a financial counselor is the early spring. Why? People have overspent at Christmas; they’re anticipating a tax refund and have the New Year’s resolution of avoiding bankruptcy they’re trying to keep. There’s no good reason you can’t enjoy Christmas as a celebration of Christ’s birth (and be generous with gifts while you’re at it) and still maintain budgetary sanity as of 12/26. Today let’s talk about 5 big Christmas traps and how you can avoid them.
Trap 1: Everybody gets a gift
This is ridiculous. If you are reading this post, you have way more than you already need and most of what you want. You don’t need another gift and several of the people on your list don’t either. Think about this: what would happen if this year, you bought NOBODY a gift? I’m not suggesting it, but think about it for a minute. If within a couple of months the person on your list wouldn’t even recall you didn’t buy them a gift, don’t buy them a gift!
Trap 2: “He/she needs” __
Fill in the blank. If you really think about it, most of us get much more than we deserve at Christmas and 99% of us get more than we could ever use. Generosity is wonderful, but don’t fall into the trap of forgetting the difference in needs, wants and wishes. You’ll overextend yourself trying to meet an unreasonable expectation.
Trap 3: I “deserve” __
Like trap #2, it is common for people to get an attitude of “I deserve” around Christmas-time. People generally eat more, drink more, spend more and generally misbehave more around Christmas, all in the name of celebrating. It is about worship, not self-indulgence. So enjoy your hot cocoa, fruit cake and all the gifts, but recognize it for what a blessing it is instead of something you deserve.
Trap 4: Christmas is so depressing
For a few years in the not-so-distant past, I really struggled with Christmas because it was such a big deal – all the gifts, all the food, all the people who I “have to” visit with. Then I realized – I am so amazingly blessed to have people who love me and want to be a part of my life. There are so many that, at this time of year, feel like they have no one and that no one cares about them. Don’t fall into this trap. Despite the awful nature of much of society, there are still people who care – I care! Christmas is a celebration that CHRIST IS BORN! For unto us a son is born, unto us a child is given! If you struggle with depression around this time of year, remember what Christmas is really about.
Trap 5: We can afford the payments
Don’t hate January! I want you to enjoy Christmas and not want to hide under your bed when the bills come in January. If you live on a budget and stay within your means, the gifts under the tree may look a little different or be a little fewer, but since none of the TV commercials will tell you this, IT ISN’T ABOUT THE GIFTS! If you can afford to buy your loved one a fancy NEW car and want to do so, go for it. But if you can’t even afford a worn-out, broken-down USED car on your budget, then don’t go overboard! Throughout the month of December, Stacy has been sharing ways to save money this Christmas – use those ideas. Brandy’s post earlier this week had some great ideas on how to be generous on a limited income. If you can’t afford to buy something and pay cash for it, then you can’t really afford it.
The Outcome
If you can navigate through this Christmas season without falling into these traps, I promise you can come out on the other side unscathed. Otherwise, you may end up like this guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zljJPfGQymY
Our biggest trap this year has been people bringing UNEXPECTED gifts when visiting. It is wonderfully generous of them and we feel so blessed to have people that want to give our family presents, but in the same token, they have never done this before, so we didn’t plan for all these people and don’t have gifts available to reciprocate, which has been awkward to say the least 🙁
We have employed all the gratitudes and explainations, but the looks of dissapointment on thier faces!!! Especially the children!!! These are wonderful friends, neighbors and family (close but not immediate). We just cannot afford to buy for everyone and for years we have only purchased for immediate family! I am not trying to be ungrateful, I just don’t understand why people are suddenly buying us gifts and even more – why they had expectations that we were doing the same?!?!? Oh year – this are GREAT gifts. Like one of our neighbors actually bought our 7 year old daughter an ipod nano!
I was so desperate I actually made several batches of puppy chow snack mix and white trash, prettied them up and placed them in gift bags under the tree. When folks arrive with a gift, I quickly complete a gift tag and am very sneaky placing the tag on the bag as I pick it up to give. This has helped some of the dissappointment (on thier end) and guilt (on ours), but it’s still there….and the fact that I ended up spending $30 on the supplies to make the snack mixes!!! Not planned for, but we’re pretty certain we can make accomodations.
When it’s just husband, me and the kids, Christmas is so wonderful. Everyone else seems to be complicating things LOLOLOL!!!
For us, we always make sure that our gift giving doesn’t require reciprocation. We give because want to bless someone else…..so, we do gift our neighbors with small, homemade things. And if I get nothing in return, I’m 100% okay with that. I’m sorry your neighbors were not. 🙁
I think the way you’ve handled it is smart. Keeping something around if you need it. However, if someone gives me a gift and I didn’t have them on my list -or my budget doesn’t leave room for me to give anything, then I can’t give an extravagant gift. This is when Brandy’s post about being generous with limited resources comes in handy. 🙂
I believe that a gift is just that, a gift! If someone expects a gift in return, they need to ask you in advance if you want to exchange gifts this year. I decided a few years ago to not worry if someone gave me a gift unexpectedly and I do not reciprocate unless I was already planning to, and I don’t even reciprocate the following year. In my extended family we decided a few years ago to stop gifts altogether, and it hasn’t dampened the Christmas Spirit one bit. It also saves us money that we can use towards the gifts that we buy our children. There are lots of ways to show that we care about our family and friends that don’t have to involve buying useless and usually calorie-laden gifts…
I like your policy. 🙂
Our large family does buy for everyone. A few months from now, and years from now everyone would be saying ‘Remember that year Scott and Jen gave us nothing??? HAHAHAHAH” My family remembers… So instead we buy small reasonable pressies with cash that we’ve planned for.
LOL Girl, that made me laugh!
We started doing Secret Santa with the extended family a decade or so ago, which has really helped. For the immediate family, though, our biggest trap (and I feel a pretty legitimate one) is feeling like we need to give back as much as we are given. Our parents and my brother always spend quite a bit on us – and they can afford it. We feel bad because we can’t afford to spend so much one them, so we end up over-spending.
This year, for the kids, we’ve stuck (mostly) with the 4 gift rule: 1 thing they want, 1 thing they need, 1 thing to wear, 1 thing to read. Starting next year, we will be setting strict price limits on each person BEFORE shopping!
One side of my family plays White Elephant and we just love it!
I couldn’t agree more. Christmas should be about enjoying time with the ones we love. Our family has done secret santa before, so we only have to buy for one person. This saves and also prevents a ton of cheap gifts.
I love Secret Santa!!
I have one word about this post – Marvelous!!!!! Our Christ is Born!
Good news of great joy!
Great reminder. Thank you. 🙂
🙂 Merry Christmas!
My favorite trap to avoid is number 1. What I do for extended family is I make a DVD picture movie of pictures of my family throughout the year with a program that came with my computer. I wrap it up, include a Christmas letter and a card, small school pics of the kids. And you know what? It gives them all a special glimpse into our year, and they really love it. It’s not expensive to make – at like, a dollar per family and the same to ship, but it has a whole lot of love in it. And that’s the most important thing to share at this time of year.
That is just GENIUS!!!
Thanks, Stacy!
I went a little overboard on the kids gifts this year (after vowing to spend less :/ ), but we paid cash for it all.
CASH!!! Woooooooooooooooooooo!!! 🙂 Best way to go!