Today I’m writing to all the married women out there. As a man, a father and a husband, I can tell you there are a lot of things I see women worrying themselves with that men truly couldn’t care less about. So if you are a busy wife or mom, PLEASE READ THIS PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT – it may just save you several hours of your life each week. Let me also offer this disclaimer before I share my list because I’m sure otherwise I’ll get plenty of hate mail and nasty comments disagreeing with me. This list is based on MY experience and MY observations only.
Here are ten things women should stop worrying about, because their men probably just don’t care.
1. Making the Bed
What’s the point of making your bed? Really? I get that it looks all nice with the comforter and stupid pillows and junk on there, but sheesh. How many people are going to have access to your bedroom that would be concerned with this?!
2. Making Food that Looks Better Than it Tastes
If I made a list of my favorite restaurants, none of the positive attributes I would list would be “Feng shui” of the food. Yeah, I want it to look edible, but I want the food to TASTE good. Some of the absolute best food from my wife’s kitchen comes out of the crock pot…and rarely does crock pot food LOOK fantastic. So work on making dinner taste awesome if you’re going to work on your kitchen skills.
3. Your Nails
It amazes me the money, time and effort some women put into their nails. If you like them, that’s cool. But I don’t really care. And please…PLEASE don’t have such long nails that you can’t function in them.
4. Your Little Belly Pooch
I don’t know a single woman who doesn’t worry about her weight. Some think they’re too skinny, some think they’re too fat. But almost every woman I know has this deep-seated hatred of a little belly pooch. As your husband, I don’t care whether or not you have a belly pooch – I’m just glad you’re willing to remove enough clothing to let me see it. *wink*
5. Designer Clothes
What’s the deal with clothes that cost so much? Around here, you know we’re a frugal group of people. I don’t care who made your dress, but I sure care if it cost a fortune. That’s money we could have used elsewhere! Case in point: I went way out on a limb recently and purchased my wife an evening gown…at a thrift store…for $10…without letting her try it on (I did have measurements). And guess what – she wore it to our black tie affair that weekend (Downton Abbey theme) and was voted best dressed. By the way, I have no idea what label was in that dress. I just know my wife looked super hot in it.
6. What You Eat
This may apply more when you’re dating someone than once you’re married, but I still have it on here. I’m cool if you decide you want dinner consisting of half a lettuce leaf with dressing on the side. I’m also cool if you decide you want to eat a rack of ribs, fries and a piece of pecan pie. I don’t think men really care what their women eat, as long as they do actually eat.
7. Makeup
Everyone looks terrible when they first wake up. Just keepin’ it real. Everyone somehow becomes a goblin overnight, capable of the most disgusting behavior. But in the morning, we get up, shower, shave and apply whatever necessary accoutrements to make ourselves presentable. For men, that’s a rather short list. For women, there are industries dedicated to every facet of possible beauty accessory known to man. If your man really loves you, he will love you when you’re all made up just as much as you first wake up (that’s spiritual right there). …Although he’ll probably wait until after the accoutrements before snapping a family photo.
8. Your Purse
Men carry wallets. Men carry backpacks, padfolios, briefcases or messenger bags. We don’t carry purses (if you are a man who carries a purse, you’d better be European). So…if you take us purse shopping, we will slip into a coma faster than you could think possible, only reviving once the cashier verbalizes the total for the purse you selected. It carries stuff. It is a bag. We can’t comprehend anything beyond that. And we REALLY can’t understand why you need 50 of them!
9. Throw Pillows
The person who came up with the idea of throw pillows was a marketing genius. I can imagine it now. Here’s a quick reenactment:
Jim: “Bob, we have way too much pillow stuffing and ugly fabric lying around. What should we do with all of it?”
Bob: “Well Jim, why don’t we make a bunch of little pillows and tell people to decorate with them. We’ll put pictures in magazines of all the famous people doing it.”
Jim: “Okay, Bob, but what’s the point of all those little pillows?”
Bob: “Jim, you silly boy…the point is we will make millions and since everybody will buy them, no one will ask what their purpose is!”
{both characters laugh hideously}
{end scene}
10. A little dust/dirt/clutter
If you are a candidate for the next episode of Hoarders, please disregard this item. There are plenty of people out there who need to worry about this one. But there are just as many people who are OCD about having every single bit of the house picked up, cleaned up and perfect. With two small kids around our place and all hardwood/tile floors, dust bunnies exist in our home…and that is okay. We exterminate the dust bunnies periodically and move on. Don’t fret about every little speck of dust.
Okay, let’s get serious for a minute. What do we men care about? Well, that’s plenty of content for another article, but let me sum it up for you instead of dedicating it to another day. A REAL man is going to care about a couple of things:
1. Inner beauty
“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)
2. A Passionate Love for Your Husband
This isn’t about sex. Although sex is awesome (A-W-E-S-O-M-E), a man whose bride stands at his side in good and bad, supports his ambitions and dreams, challenges his intellect, urges him to improve and cares for him because she loves him so much she truly desires to meet his needs above her own…THAT is something every man cares about.
I’m blessed to have a bride that fits that description, and I can’t tell you how often other men see it and compliment me on how well I’ve done or “how lucky I am” to have a woman who cares about those things. So while there is plenty in life we should all be concerned about, I hope this brief list will help you ladies with a few things you can stop worrying about.
Well done and well written when’ the sun is shining’ and everything is OK. And what about when ‘it is raining’ and you are in your blues?
I’m not sure I understand your question – can you elaborate a bit?
Well actually, despite what many men think, women dont actually spend their whole life trying to please men- we actually like to do stuff for ourselves like makeup and our nails! We do it for ourselves not for you
Well said – thanks Karen!
Julie, Humorous Homemaking Team
Thank you for shinning the light on whats important. Very good insight.
🙂 I like how men just lay it out for us so we don’t have to guess.
I don’t worry about most of these, but most women I know do these things for themselves…not their man.
Loved the end of the post where you share about what IS important. This was a gigglefest. Loved the throw pillows dialogue.
I love your comment about the throw pillows! I was just looking at my friend’s nicely decorated living room, complete with throw pillows, and was thinking to myself that some throw pillows might make my home look better. But they are totally impractical when your family likes to sleep/relax on the couch regularly. (My friend doesn’t have kids and unlike me, she owns more than one couch.)
Some people have throw pillos because they like pillows on the couch if they sleep. Depends on your throw pillows I guess, but I know my mom always moves throw pillows to her couch when she wants to sleep/relax on it(if they had been moved away).
Also, with regards to making the bed: I make the bed because I love crawling into a made bed at night. It just feels more warm and comfortable if the edges of the sheets are all tucked in.
Everything a women does isn’t just to please her husband sometimes we do it for ourselves or for other reasons that appeal to a woman but that to a man may seem unnecessary. Don’t forget “men are from Mars, but women are from Venus”.
Good point, and one I’m glad you raised. If my wife wants to have amazing nails and make the bed every day, that’s cool – I just don’t want her to stress about it as a “requirement” for being a woman.
Makes perfect sense and oh so true! Growing older means getting wiser… or is supposed too!
Excellent read Barry.
This may be true for you, but all my husband wants when he comes home is a neat (NO clutter or mess) house and bed and kitchen — he also likes if I look nice. But still a great post.
You make the bed so that when the kids want to sit on it, you want to fold the laundry on it, the dog sleeps on it–which you KNOW will happen, there aren’t lost toys, lost socks, and dog drool on the actual sheets and pillows you sleep on. It gives you a nice smooth surface on which to “work”.
Valid point…but I still don’t think it is worth it. And that comes from the husband of Stacy, who ALWAYS makes the bed…and uses it for the things you mentioned.
Funny! We sure do worry about silly things as wives! Being married to a chef though, both my husband and I would have to disagree with 2 and 6. 🙂
My husband is actually picky about the bed being made, but we don’t have the fancy pillows. For him it’s more of a habit because he was expected to do it every day with his parents. But this is good! It is really hard to believe some of these…but according to my hubby, you’re spot on! 🙂
Hahaha! I just read this to my husband. We just had a conversation last night about how I can bless him and do things he likes. One of the first things he said was to make the bed daily because sometimes, let’s face it, I just don’t get to it. He likes the bed made with all the pillows on it. He also likes it when I have my nails done. I have a chronic illness and he is very understanding when I am unable to do some of these things and he doesn’t love me any less if I can’t, but I do try when I am able. These are just a few things I can do to show him I care and love him. He takes care of me so much of the time and is such an awesome guy!!!
It’s awesome my post created this discussion. If you can do those small things to please your hubby, DO THEM when you’re able. As you know, I took a somewhat light approach to these topics, but also with the hope that those who were spending crazy time on things that don’t really matter to their families would chill out a bit. 🙂 Your outcome is even better!
Making the bed keeps the spiders out.
LOL! Yeah, just like putting the covers over your head keeps the scary monsters away. That’s a hoot!
I love this article – and my husband agrees with you 100%
This is awesome!:) LOVE it! i’ll have to share this on my blog with my readers on my weekly Fab Finds Friday post:) I’ll link back to this! LOVE IT!<3
This was great and fun to read. My husband tells me these things all of the time so it was almost like reading something he would write. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Beautiful and perfect thoughts shared in a beautifully perfect manner. Thanks for taking time to share Barry.
LOVE IT!
I really enjoyed this blog today. My husband has told me many of these things through the years and I believed him. It just helps to know that someone else thinks the same way. The part about throw pillows really made me smile. Ted has always hated too many pillows piled up on the couch or the bed.
Thanks for that enlightening post. 🙂
Wow! Thanks for sharing! These are all things my husband has told me and sometimes it’s hard for me to accept that they are true. Hearing it from another man helps me see the truth. He loves me for who I am not all the other stuff. Very encouraging!
Hahaha I must be weird; because I don’t worry about any of them. And I’m notorious for not making my bed (it was my Dad that always nagged me about then when I was a kid). The only thing I might get a little uptight about is clutter. But there always ends up being clutter in my house. I try to keep it down, but I just can’t seem to keep up with it!