I pride myself on being a planner. (My entire family is shaking their head in agreement right now.) I am ALWAYS ready. I plan everything. It’s how I roll. I don’t like being caught off guard…at least I didn’t before I was a mom.
When I became a mom, I lost my mind. Literally. I can’t remember ANYTHING right now. I misplace stuff all the time, I forget extra clothes on car trips, sometimes I get a snack for Annie and forget her drink, and sometimes I leave the laundry in the washer a long time because I forgot I was doing laundry. I know that Barry wonders what on earth has happened to his wife…sometimes I wonder too – but wondering too much makes me forget what I was doing before I started wondering.
There is a term for this disease. It’s called MOMNESIA.
Even though I packed WEEKS in advance for Annie’s birth, I forgot one major thing…stuff for Barry. I didn’t even pack the poor man any clothes. In my rush to get everything for Annie, I forgot that Barry might want clean underwear. Uhhhh, oops?
Thanks to Barry’s mom, we were able to get the poor man a change of clothes from his brother’s closet. And so began my descent into craziness. And every day it just gets worse.
For a while, I had wanted to pack my bag so that I could be prepared…but my mind wouldn’t work. I’d go into the bedroom and think “Okay, time to get this bag ready!” And I couldn’t think of the first thing to put in there.
Finally, I had a small pile started. Do you want to know what was in it? I’ll tell you: organic strawberry suckers, dark chocolate, and Earth Mama Angel Baby New Mama Bottom Spray. Obviously I am very concerned about suckers, chocolate, and my bottom. Somehow, those just seem to go together.
Finally, I had to resort to something I’ve never done before…I had to get someone else to make my list. It was almost like letting someone else pilfer through my panty drawer – except for me, it’s worse to let someone pilfer through my kitchen cabinets. Yeah, that.
My wonderful doula, Brandy, made my hospital list. Her services never end. If you don’t have a doula, get one. They make lists.
So, all the bags are packed…mine, BARRY’S, The Bean’s, and Annie’s. Annie will be staying with my mom and I didn’t want to forget her…if I have her bag, I won’t accidentally leave her here at the house and have to call my mom from the hospital so she can rush over to find Annie knee deep in water – the child has a fascination with playing in the bathroom.
Also, once my mind was rolling I had a flashback. This time, I didn’t pack a bunch of stupid stuff like I did with Annie – although I’m still convinced I forgot something crucial this time – like deodorant, a brush, or peanut butter.
When Annie was born, I had an entire bag full of stuff I never even touched….about 4 zillion toys, 50 blankets, baby wipes, but NO ONESIES. For Pete’s sake….
I have the bare essentials this time…because just in case you didn’t know, a newborn doesn’t really have much interest in playing with a set of plastic keys. Ahem.
- ONESIES for Pete’s sake!
- A going-home outfit
- The Boppy
- Socks…but they never stay on
- Two hats
- A swaddle blanket
- Udder Cover for company
- The end
Oh, and chocolate for me.